My heart pounded as I carefully untied the white bow, peeled back the paper, and opened the box to find two white receiving blankets trimmed with light blue silk. They were the softest, most sumptuous things I had ever touched. I remembered that Rachel had given An—
nalise a similar blanket at her baby shower, but mine were even nicer. After a long moment, I removed the card from the envelope. It was letter-pressed with two baby carriages. I opened the card slowly and saw her familiar, neat cursive. I could hear her voice as I read silently:
Dear Darcy,
First, I want to tell you how sorry I am for everything that has happened between us. I miss our friendship, and I regret that I cannot share in this very special time in your life. But despite the distance between us, I want you to know that I think of you often. Many times a day. I am so pleased to learn from Ethan that you are happy and well. And twins! It is so you to turn an already wonderful event into something doubly exciting! And, finally, I just want to wish you heartfelt congratulations as you embark upon motherhood. I hope someday to meet your sons. I know they will be beautiful, amazing little boys, just like their mother.
Best wishes and much love always, Rachel
Still clutching the card, I leaned my head back on my pillow. For months now, I had been waiting to hear something from Rachel, but I didn't realize how much I wanted to hear from her until I read her card. I looked up at Ethan. His face was placid, patient.
"Huh. Imagine that," I said, filling the silence.
"What'd she say?" Ethan asked.
I downplayed my emotion by rolling my eyes. Then I twisted my hair up in a knot, secured it with an elastic band, and said nonchalantly, "Let's just say, she is trying to make a comeback." My words were cavalier, but the catch in my voice gave me away. And against my best efforts, I could feel myself softening. I tried to mask my feelings by flinging the card his way, Frisbee-style. "Here you go. Read it for yourself," I said.
His lips moved as he read silently. When he got to the end, he looked up at me and said, "It's really nice."
"Yeah. These blankets are pretty nice too," I said, stroking the silk border with my thumb. "I guess I no longer want her to go hell." I laughed. "Just a dingy place in heaven."
Ethan smiled.
"Does this mean I have to call her?" I asked him.
Part of me wanted his response to be, "Yes, you must call her now," because I wanted an excuse to swallow my pride and give in. But Ethan just said, "You don't have to call. Just send her a thank-you note." He handed the card back to me.
I couldn't resist rereading it aloud, parsing every sentence for its meaning.
"She said she's 'sorry for what happened between us.' Not what she did."
"I think that's implied."
"So what does that mean exactly? That she'd take back what she did with Dex if she could?" I asked, redoing my bun.
"She probably just wishes she had handled things differently," Ethan said.
"Like how?" I asked.
"I don't know… like waiting until after you and Dex broke up to start seeing him?"
"Did she tell you that? Do you know that for a fact?"
"Not for a fact. No."
"Okay," I said, my eyes scanning the rest of the card. "Moving on here… 'Despite the distance between us,'" I read aloud. "Do you think she means emotional distance or geographic distance?"
"Probably both," Ethan said.
"She thinks of me every day? Do you think she's exaggerating?"
"No. I don't, actually," Ethan said. "Don't you think of her every day?"
The answer was yes, but I pretended not to hear the question as I rattled on. " 'Pleased to learn from Ethan?'" I said, remembering the bits of the conversation I had overheard on Christmas. "What exactly did you tell her?"
"Well, obviously I told her you were having twin boys. You said I could… and I just told her that you're doing well here. That you've made some friends. And I told her about Geoffrey too."
"Have you talked to her since Geoffrey and I broke up?" No.
I briefly considered asking him about Rachel's engagement, but I decided that I still wasn't ready to have it confirmed. I closed the card and tucked it back into the envelope.
"She can't honestly think that we could really be close friends again?" I asked, my voice trailing off.
"She knows you pretty well, Darce. I don't think she expects you to fold," he murmured. His tone was matter-of-fact, but his expression said, "I think you will fold." Or maybe, "I think you already have folded."