“Whatever it is,” she said her voice hoarse, “I deserve it.”
“I never loved you. Not the way I should have. After a few years, your charms wore off and I realized then I was stuck in a marriage I didn’t want. In fact, I grew to despise you as the years passed. You were annoying and needy and didn’t have a selfless bone in your body. You weren’t the kind of woman I could respect, let alone truly and deeply love. I spent years suffering at your hand because of my love for a daughter that wasn’t mine. But here’s the thing, you conniving bitch, you can’t change her love for me. You can’t twist it or turn it or direct it toward Daniel, no matter what you do. If you want to tell Ella, be my guest; but if you do, you’ll get exactly what you deserve, her hatred. And she won’t love Daniel more. He has to earn her love and affection the way I had to for the whole of her life. I dare you to try to piss away at the years I’ve built being a father, but let me repeat myself so we’re clear. You will never, ever ruin what’s between us. Ella and I are what true love is supposed to be. She and I were the best thing to come out of our marriage and it had nothing to do with you.”
I was being vile, but it was the truth for the most part that she hadn’t been kind enough to spare me.
“You never loved me?”
“No.”
I ended the call and walked the beach until sunrise.
“Disco,” I called out, rousing from sleep. I stood and stretched stepping into a fresh puddle of her piss. “Get over here, you little rat, it’s time for our jog. Disco!”
I heard a muffled squeal of delight and made my way to my porch. Staring out of the screen, I finally spotted my dog and her kidnapper. Koti was running the beach with the tiny beast in tow, her timid bark sounding rapidly as she chased at Koti’s heels.
Disco’s ears flew back as she tried to keep up with her captor’s sporadic movements. She dodged the puppy left and right as the storm winds blew in and thunder sounded in the distance. The only rays of sun left shone through the clouds on our beach and lit them both up as they pranced around on the sand. Koti’s smile and delighted laughter took my breath away.
She had on a pair of barely-there shorts that showcased the insane length of her toned legs. A thin top covered her gorgeous tits and tight stomach. The woman was radiant, so fucking beautiful, that it hurt to look at her. I couldn’t imagine the life she explained to me where she wasn’t in control. She seemed so at ease in both life, and in her skin, but apparently, that had taken her back-breaking, life-changing effort and I admired her for it.
She was the best possible muse and completely unaware of it which only made her more alluring. She’d always been a gentle soul, even when she was a little girl her strength remained hidden. I couldn’t help my chuckle when Disco lost her footing and toppled over, ending up as a rolling ball of fur before popping up again. Koti’s smile radiated in the space between us as I tried to catch my breath from the sight of her.
This. This is what happiness looks like.
I remembered her words from the night before. “It’s already yours.”
I was so far from the place she spoke of, but just for a moment, I hoped I would be able to navigate my way there. I knew that hope was dangerous. I wished for the same thing after gaining my freedom from Tara and so far, had been nothing but disappointed. I knew I had to give myself time to adjust from being a family man. I just didn’t realize in leaving my wife, I might have lost my entire family.
Koti plucked Disco up from the sand and held her over her head before bringing her in for a kiss. The puppy lapped up every bit of her attention as I let my eyes feast. She was stunning. Silver eyes, full lips, and that killer body all taunted me from where she stood. I couldn’t tear my eyes away.
Not only was she temptation. Not acting on the need to touch her last night was agony and she’d been so incredibly responsive.
Beautiful, stubborn, and full of quiet strength. I knew that about her even when we were kids. Back then she’d been nothing more than a distraction to pass the time with while I waited to get back to the States.
My parents had forced my hand the way they had hers to keep us occupied together and out of their hair for the summer. But even then, with our age gap and her temperament and squeaky voice, I liked her. She made the time on the island bearable. She softened me with her vulnerability. I could never forget the first time I saw her cry.
I found her sitting on the side of the house, her body shaking as she sat with her back to the siding, her knees drawn.
“Koti, what’s wrong?”
“Go away, Ian. I don’t want to play.”
“Well, that’s good then because I’m a little too old for a play date.”
“You know what I mean,” she sniffed. Her eyes watering even as her words came out in an angry huff.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, taking a seat next to her.
“My mother is an asshole.”
“You sure swear a lot for a little girl.”
“I’m seven now,” she defended. “I’m getting bigger every day.”
“Yes, you’ll be driving in no time.” I laughed as she glared at me.
“Go away, Ian.”
“Fine,” I stood and brushed the sand off my shorts. I had better things to do, a Sega game on pause. She spoke before I’d taken my first step away from her.
“She’s so mean.”
“What did she do?”
“She found some Twinkies I snuck into my room and she went crazy.”
“I’m sure she didn’t mean whatever she said.”
“That I was going to get fat? And that nobody thought much of a fat person because they looked like they had no self-control and that made them weak.”
“Jesus,” I sighed. “They are just Twinkies.”
“Tell that to her,” she said choking on another sob.
I squat down in front of her. “I just so happen to have some banana pops at my house. So much better than Twinkies, want one?”
“I can’t, I’ll be spanked.”
“You’re getting too big for spankings. And no one needs to know but us.” I held out my hand. “Come on, puffer fish.”
She looked up to me. “Don’t make fun of me for crying.”
“Never.”
“Okay.” She grabbed my hand and I sat her on my parents’ couch with a banana pop.
An hour later, I had to scrape her off the ceiling. As it turned out, she didn’t do well on sugar, probably because she was raised on a lack of it. Giving her those banana pops had been like giving her speed, but her smile had been worth it. The same smile she wore now as she collapsed on her back with the puppy in her arms before moving her gaze toward the sea.
I would have given anything in that moment to be kissing her breathless, before sinking between her legs on that sand. I closed my eyes tight as I imagined those legs wrapped around me while I slid my tongue against hers.
She sat up as if she’d heard my thoughts and glanced toward the house. I was sure she couldn’t see me staring at her through the screen. Resigned that acting on my desire for her was still a terrible idea, I made my way to the bathroom just as my screen door creaked open and seconds later heard the pitter patter of Disco’s feet.
I GRIPPED THE PHONE TO my ear while being browbeaten by the person on the other end of the line. “I paid for the rental months ago.”
“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Tartar. We’ve arranged for you to stay—”
“I’m not having it, I’ll just cancel the whole trip.”
“I don’t want you to do that,” I pleaded, glancing at Jasmine, helpless. “Please just let me speak to the tenant at the property. I’m sure we can work it out.”
“I want an answer within the hour. I’ve been planning this trip for months!”
“I completely understand. You’ll have it.”
I hung up the phone and let out a breath of frustration. “Do not book the Kemp house anymore until we know how long he’s staying. I have to somehow get him to a hotel.”