I wanted to ask where we were headed, but I knew he wouldn’t answer. If I was to know where I was going, I’d know by now. He texted someone while we were still in the driveway, but then set his phone down and we took off down the road. I assumed it was his mom. The ride was silent. I honestly had nothing to say. I closed my eyes and relaxed my slightly frazzled body. Being out of the safety of my home was a little more daunting than I had envisioned it being. Every car that passed, made me wonder if they’d cross the double lines and run head on into us. Every curve that Turner took, I questioned if he was going too fast and we’d flip. Closing my eyes to the outside world was the only way I was going to survive this trip.
I had no concept of time, which direction we were going, or what my surroundings looked like. But when I felt the car ease to a stop and I opened my eyes and saw where I was, every single emotion a human being could have raced through me. I felt Turner’s eyes on me, but I swear if I said anything right no, it wouldn’t be pretty. How could he? How could Donna? I scanned the grounds. I knew where I was, but how did they know? Did they research? I supposed it wouldn’t take much. It’s not like these things weren’t printed in the newspapers when it happened.
“Annabelle?” he quietly asked.
I swallowed. My throat was dry and I wanted to cough. No scratch that, I wanted to puke. I never came here. He knew this.
“Annabelle.” He repeated.
Rows and rows of headstones lined the immaculate green grass. It was hilly just like I remembered it, and we were a ways out of the city. The sky was bright blue, but the air was crisp and cool, a warning that fall was not far in the distance. It would be almost beautiful if it was any other place besides a cemetery. I hadn’t been here in years. In fact, not since the day my parents were put in the ground.
“No, Turner.” My voice shook.
He reached for my hand and I pulled away. “Listen, I know this is probably a shock to you, but I think there’s something you need to see.”
“There’s nothing for me to see, get me the hell out of here.”
“No.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t want to be here.”
He raised his brow. I’d never said that word in front of him before, and me saying it made him realize I was serious. “I’m standing behind bringing you here, so would be you please follow me?”
“I’m out. You won’t take me back home, I’m walking.” I got out of the car and slammed the door. I only got a few feet away when I heard his door close and he was in front of me, blocking my only exit out of the black iron gates.
“So help me, Annabelle, I will throw you over my shoulder and carry you over there, but I’m asking you to not make me do that.”
I furrowed my brow. “Carry me where? I told you the other night I never wanted to step foot here again. There’s no purpose.”
“There is now. Get your ass moving.” He was getting pissed.
The nerve of him. “Don’t you dare get pissed off at me. You had no business bringing me here. Seriously, I fucking confide in you, tell you things I’ve never told a soul, I trusted you. And you go off and do the one thing that is so damn cruel and insensitive.” I went to march around him, but stopped when I heard Donna’s voice.
“It wasn’t him, honey, it was me. He’s only doing what I asked of him.” I hadn’t even heard her approaching.
I faced her, mouth slightly parted. I shook my head back and forth. “Why?”
She reached forward and grabbed my hand, placing mine in both of hers. “Follow me.”
Donna released me and started walking away. Glancing back at Turner, he mouthed “sorry” to me, and followed his mom. This couldn’t be happening. His family had officially lost their minds. What business could I possibly have here? I said my goodbyes the day my parents were placed into the ground. Did she want me to sit and talk to them? Sorry, but I wasn’t one of those people. I didn’t come here, lay on the grass and speak to them like they could hear me. If there was any place I felt my parents, it was at home. My arms were at my sides and I was feeling absolutely defeated. I didn’t want to fight, and I didn’t want to be here. Squaring my shoulders, I’d do whatever it is that she wanted me to do and then I would high tail it out of there. Donna wouldn’t be hearing from me for a while. She had to know that this wasn’t okay. In fact, I wasn’t sure if I was going to be giving Turner the silent treatment after this as well. I knew one thing, when I got back home, I’d be asking him to leave. This was all just cruel.
Reluctantly, I walked behind them, keeping my distance. I went over every possible reason why I was brought here but nothing prepared me for seeing the rest of the Brooks clan. There they stood by a freshly dug plot and a small casket that was no bigger than the size of an . . . infant. I stopped in my tracks, my hand going to my mouth. I gasped, shaking my head back and forth. Turner heard me and started to come to my aid. Donna held him back and told him to go over with everyone else. When she approached me, she was very cautious.
“It’s going to be okay,” she told me.
My mouth opened and closed. “Is that?” I didn’t want to finish.
She nodded. “I made a few phone calls. I know you probably don’t want to be here or do this, but when this pain starts to feel a little less and you think about Noah, I want you to know exactly where he is, and that he had a place . . . with you.”
Tears welled in my eyes. I was speechless. The anger I’d previously felt was pushed back and sadness seeped into me. “But the rest of the family is here.”
She looked confused. “Of course they are. Don’t you know why?”
I shook my head no.
A serene smile came across her lips. “Because, honey, my Turner has fallen for you. The moment I saw it, you became family, and that means we are all here for you.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You will. Come.” She guided me to where everyone was standing.
Turner took my hand and gave it a squeeze. Paul stood in front of everyone and spoke.
“Annabelle, I want you to know that we are all deeply sorry for your loss. You’ve been dealt some very challenging hands in your short life, and yet you seem to have handled it all with grace and dignity. Instead of making decisions to hide from what God has put on your plate, you showed perseverance during what could be the most trying time in a person’s life.” He paused and looked directly at me. “And now this. I know none of us may truly understand how you could be feeling at this very moment or for the last couple of days, but we wanted you to know one thing—you are family. You are part of something bigger than you think. Donna and myself, and of course our boys, we are here for you. Anything you may need, all you have to do is ask. Although we may get nosey and just assume we know what’s best for you.” They all let out a small chuckle. “I’m sure you can tell by what my wife has done here. This is not a traditional funeral or anything. Why Donna chose to do this was simply because Noah deserved a place to rest, and you, my dear, you deserved peace of mind and to know because you have a place with us, so did he.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. My tears turned into a river, and I was full on sobbing. Never in my life would I have thought people would care enough about me to do something like this. Paul wasn’t done. Just as his last words left his mouth, he stepped aside. I was too preoccupied by the gathering of everyone, and the baby’s casket, I hadn’t even seen what had been behind him. There was a small grave stone that read:
Baby Noah
Oct 21, 2015