He tipped my chin up with his index finger. “You sure?”
I wanted to bust out laughing. He knew what he had just done to me. I, Annabelle, had become unglued and allowed a man to make me feel something more than just a crush.
“Definitely sure.”
He smirked. “Good. Let’s walk.”
We were still standing where he’d stopped me on the side of the road with no regard to neighbors seeing our public display of affection. Turner took my hand again, and started in the direction of the house. He made small talk about his family and how crazy they could be, while nothing wiped the perma-grin off my face. Was this what happiness felt like? Those ooey gooey girl feelings that the women in the hospital who fawned all over him gushed about? I didn’t want to be one of them, but I felt it creeping in. I wanted to go home and tell Chaz all about the kiss like a teenage girl, while my fat cat looked on with disinterest. Indifference toward Turner was all but gone, and my need for more had replaced it. I walked beside him, wondering when he would ask me out again, and where it would be. I wanted to know if he would kiss me again, and if it would be just like this one. Things like relationships, dating, and love were not my forté. I didn’t technically know how to take on any of it because I lacked experience. But I could see myself liking him more and more at this pace. He did all the right things, and he said all the right things. But history has shown me for over seven years that those things didn’t necessarily add up to what was good for me. I didn’t let people in for reasons I chose to keep to myself. I was going to have to seriously ask myself if it was time to let those walls down and see if life was going to play nice again. I couldn’t afford to lose another person that I cared about without it destroying me. Pain was a feeling I was well acquainted with, but it was an emotion that given the chance to strike me down again, I knew I wouldn’t survive it.
Turner and I ended our night on a good note. His mom sent me home with a container of food, and she slid a note on top of it with her phone number and a short message to contact her if I ever needed anything. Then in smaller letters she wrote:
PS. What you’re doing for the baby is admirable. If I can help, let me know.
When I climbed into my car and read it, I wanted to crumple it up and throw it on the floor board. Only reason it didn’t was because it tugged at my heart. I ended up putting the note in my purse where I could access it. I know I may have felt guarded while speaking to her, but intuition told me it was okay. I drove home with thoughts that I should let these people in because I knew they had my best interests at heart. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life keeping people on the outside. Turner was changing me, a piece at a time, but I was changing.
EVER SINCE THAT KISS, I’ve been thinking about more. I wanted Annabelle beneath me, feeling every inch of me as I pushed inside of her. It has been a constant thought since her mouth was on mine. The self-control I had to display that day to not press her against a parked vehicle and do what I’d been dying to do for months now was unreal. I don’t think I’ve ever held back from taking what I wanted from a woman before. Not that any of them really held me back anyway. But my life was a revolving door of women. Never have I had to work for sex. Annabelle, isn’t like that though. It has not been work. It’s been genuine. The draw to her, the desire to have more than her physically, was a new emotion. Did this make me an asshole for being that way to the others? Probably. I’ve had feelings for a few of them, but they were never the kind where I wanted to bring someone home to meet my parents. Those women were fun, and kept me occupied when I got bored with my life. Okay, yeah, I was the world’s biggest asshole for that. Nothing I could do about it now. ‘Cause right now, one girl had my attention, and she’s had it since the day she had lunch at my parent’s house.
I was on call earlier this morning and had to come in to surgically correct someone’s knee. I wasn’t particularly busy at the moment, and I considered going up to Annabelle’s floor to surprise her. Admittedly, I had already made a call to see if she was on duty. Sure, I could have asked her, but a surprise visit seemed more fun. Yeah, I wanted to see her. Getting on the elevator, I took it down one floor to Labor and Delivery. The nurse’s station was unoccupied except for a young girl that I’d never seen before. She glanced up at me briefly, then looked back to her work, only to shoot her eyes back up to mine. Her whole demeanor screamed of inexperience. She was new and had no clue who I was. After this, based off her expression, I’d guess she’d learn.
“Can I help you with something, Doctor . . .” She looked at my name tag hanging from the pocket of my scrubs. “Brooks?”
Not that I wanted to butter her up, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to lay on some charm. Giving her a million dollar smile that seemed to work on majority of the ladies, I watched it affect her just as I suspected it would. She fluttered her eye lashes and smoothed her smock down even though there wasn’t a wrinkle in sight.
“Actually, I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of where one of your nurses is right now.”
“Oh, um, sure. Who are you looking for?”
“Annabelle. I was told she was on today.”
Disappointment played over her face. “She is, but I think she’s on her break. I can let her know that you stopped in if you’d like.”
“No, that’s okay. I just had some things to discuss with her, but it can wait.”