"I know you miss shifting with me," she said, reading my mind—or my face.
I held her hand and looked into her hazel eyes. "I do. But it doesn't change my feelings for you."
"I'm just so scared. Even with Talon trying to help me, I'm scared of failing everyone if I can't control my shifting."
"You haven't failed me," I told her. "You could never fail me."
"I failed Sam," she said, dropping her eyes to her lap. "I can't forgive myself for that."
"Sam doesn't blame you. No one blames you."
"I blame me."
I took a sip of my wine and considered my words. I didn't want to push her away, but I didn't want to lose her to this fear either. "Rose, maybe you just need to push past this. The longer you let this fear paralyze you, the harder it will be to regain control."
"That's just it," she said, tossing up her arms. "I never had control. I may never have control. Look at Talon. He's a monster because of these gifts. I don't want to become a monster, stuck in so many animal bodies that I no longer can even pass for human. How could you love a woman like that?"
"Is that what's worrying you?" I pulled her into my arms and kissed the top of her head. "You could be part bear, part eagle and part fucking unicorn and I'd still love you as much as I do now."
She laughed through a tear and held me closer. "I love you so much."
"I love you, too."
We both looked up at the sounds of footsteps approaching. Tammy and Dean, my brother and sister, walked up.
I smiled at them. "Hey, what's up?"
"We were looking for you guys," Tammy said. She cast a glance at Dean, her twin brother, and I could tell they were keeping something from me.
"What's wrong?" I asked, standing up and helping Sam up.
"Nothing's wrong," Dean said. "But Dad wants to talk to you. He wants to talk to all of us."
My parents were both waiting in my dad's study when the four of us arrived. They stood next to the desk talking, and I could tell whatever they wanted to say was serious.
I reached for Rose's hand, hoping everything was okay. I looked at Dean. After his time spent in the hell dimension of the demon realm he'd never quite been the same, but he seemed healthy enough. Tammy looked fine. My parents didn't look sick.
"Is anyone dying?" I asked.
My dad chuckled. "No, son. No one's dying. But there is something we want to talk to you about. Why don't we sit down?"
My dad's study was huge, and there was plenty of seating for everyone, surrounded by floor to ceiling bookshelves packed with leather-bound tomes. I sat on a love seat next to Rose and waited.
"I'm no longer going to be leading our pack," my dad said, shocking the hell out of me.
"What do you mean? Who will lead? Where are you going?" My dad had been pack leader since before I was born. As shifters and druids we had long lives and he was older than he looked. Much older. I never imagined him stepping down.
"I've been around a long time," he said, "and it's time for some fresh blood to take over. Your mother and I are ready to retire and do some traveling, see the world, spend some time together."
My mom smiled and leaned into him and I could tell they were enjoying the thought of getting away together. Made sense, now that all their kids were grown and moving on with their own lives.
"So, Tammy's taking over?" I asked. She always seemed most in touch with the pack and their needs. Dean never took much seriously and I'd never had an interest. She was the logical choice.
But my dad surprised me. "No, son, we'd like you to take over."
My eyes widened and I looked to Tammy and Dean for support. Surely they didn't want this.
Tammy smiled. "We want you to be leader, Derek. I still have a lot to figure out in my life, but you are settled down with an amazing woman who fits into our life, you have the leadership qualities a good pack leader needs, and we know you're the best choice."
"I can't," I said. "I've barely spent time with the pack. I was always gone before and now we live at Elysium and are hardly here outside of Sunday family dinners. I wouldn't know what's best for them or even how to do this."
"Dude," Dean said, "you'll figure all that out. You and Rose were meant to be here, leading our pack, protecting the rose bush and our legacy and people. The way you saved me from the hell dimension proves that. The pack trusts you. They want you as their leader."
My mom stood and walked over. "I know you're scared, but I also know this is your destiny and you are ready for it. We are deeding you this house and the property, as well as Rose Botanicals. Your brother and sister will help you run the company, and you and Rose can live here and raise the next generation of O'Conners. If you want. It's your choice."
I looked to Rose who shrugged and looked as shocked as I felt.
My family left us alone in the study to talk, but I just sat there in silence. I felt much like I imagined Rose felt. I didn't want to fail everyone, but I felt like I would.