“Your belly's not fat, your belly's beautiful, I love your belly. You've grown two babies in that belly, and that’s part of what makes you who you are, it's part of you, I love your belly because it’s part of you. I love every inch of your body and I love touching it, please don't ever be in any doubt about that”
And the tears start again, I'm not sobbing or even crying really, I just have tears. I’m such an idiot, I’ve behaved like a child and a bitch and an idiot and all for nothing, once again, I need to get a grip and sort my shit out before I lose him. This man, this beautiful, hot, sexy, sensitive man loves my body. He always has the right words, says the right things, I just can't believe that he's still single? If he is so attuned to women and how to say and do the right things around and to them, if he is so sensitive, why has he never been in love before, why has that never happened for him?
I reach out and rub my hand over his stubble, he hasn't shaved all weekend, and I love how the two days growth looks and feels.
“I’m sorry” I look down again as I say this, I'm burning with embarrassment. He lifts my chin back up so I look at him. His eyes are watching me, soft and gentle and I feel like I'm floating. I brush my fingers over his lips, his jaw, and his cheek, into his hair. He kisses me gently on the mouth.
“Please don't ever stop me touching any part of you just because you think I'm not going to find it sexy. If you don't want me to touch you for other reasons, that’s fine, just say, like you did earlier but never because you’re worried about what I'm going to think, I hate that you have these hang ups Lauren, I hate that you think that you’re less than perfect, whatever you might think, just remember, I think you’re fucking gorgeous and you’re perfect to me” I nod as he uses his thumb to brush my tears away and then he tastes them, like he did that first night, which was only just over a week ago. 9 days, that's all it's been, 9 days that have rocked my world!
~
We head out to the shops without having sex. I think he felt it was best to leave me alone after my shameful little tantrum. But he has told me he wants to chat about things later. That should be interesting!
I spot a few pieces I want to buy to brighten the girls room up a bit more. Well brighten isn't the right word, you need your sunnies on before entering now with all that pink. No, it's more to personalise it. We pick up a couple of 1 Direction doona covers for the beds and a fantastic pink lava lamp, then I spot a pink and chrome iPod doc, something I had noticed in the room was the lack of anything to play music on and I know how much 13 year old girls love music .
I buy, or rather Gabe does, a whole heap of funky photo frames and a huge clear Perspex frame. Not letting on to Gabe what my plans are for it. I'm going to be very busy tomorrow while he's at work and picking up the girls.
I am loving this, just wandering around the Shopping Centre, hand in hand, not caring who sees us. I see a few faces that I know, acquaintances who look and look twice. I also love watching women, watch him, even when they know I have caught them, they don’t necessarily look away, and it makes me smile. More than once he just stops in his tracks and gives me a little peck on the lips and it gives me such a warm fuzzy feeling inside, I walk around the shops looking like a stoned Cheshire cat.
We go food shopping next, which I leave to Gabe as he knows all of Ava's favorites but I do take mental notes of what he’s buying for future reference, my belly inexplicably flips at that word, future.
As we queue at the checkout, I see the wife of one of the electricians who work for Jason and she's staring right at us. I don't like the woman, never have, but have always been polite for Jay’s sake.
She puts up her hand and waves, so I smile politely back in acknowledgment. As I put the bags in the trolley, Gabe pays, and she comes over. Great!
“Hey Lauren, how's it going, how have you been?”
“I’m fine Julie, thank you”
“I'm so sorry to hear about you and Jay, such a shame, I always thought you two would go the distance, John says Jay’s devastated, has been a mess since you left and a nightmare to work with”
Bitch. Fucking nosey cow!
“Well, tell John I'm very sorry to upset the joy of his work day but if Jason had kept his dick in his pants and his hands to himself and not used them to slap me around, things wouldn't be such a 'nightmare' at work for HIM”
I even do that annoying finger coma, thingy, thing in the air as I say nightmare. The cheek of the woman, making it all sound like my fault when she has no idea what has gone on, spiteful, snipey bitch!
Gabe steps to my side, oblivious to the conversation going on between us.
“Right, just bread from the bakers, then I think we're done, then I can get you home and we can finish what we started earlier” He runs his mouth over the side of my jaw as he speaks. Oh there will be major, major, fall out when this gets back to Jay.