“I want to get to know you Lauren, what you like and dislike, what makes you tick, what makes you smile ... What makes you....well, what else makes you cry. ... Other than everything right now....I know this is the shitiest timing in the history of shitty relationship timing ever but I promise, I understand that and I am happy to wait, I'm happy to go at your pace but I really would like to give this... Give us a go. I have never felt like this about anyone so quickly, in fact I've never felt like this ever. I barely know you but I know if your husband had turned up here last night, I would have had no problem, no problem at all, in killing the fucker with my bare hands for what he's done to you. So please, can we find a way to give this, us a go? Please give me a chance to show you, I'm not just after sex. I can get that any day, anywhere Lauren, I know how I look, I've been aware of the affect I have on women since I was about 15 and got my first blow job from someone 16 years older than me and yes I have abused it but that's not what I want with you. I went for a drink on Friday night with my brothers, that's all it was meant to be, a few beers after work, the last thing I was expecting was this but you walked in that bar and as soon as I saw you I just wanted to talk to you and then when I did, I knew, I just knew I wanted to get to know you more, I knew I had to know you, and I knew by the time I'd bought you that second drink that I wanted to get to know you inside and out”
WOW, well shit. I swallow hard, trying to take in all what he has just said, I know somehow he is telling me the truth, for some unknown reason I trust him, he makes me feel safe but what can I bring to a relationship right now, do I want another relationship when I haven't even officially left my husband yet and why me? If he doesn't do relationships, why is he interested in starting something with me, with all my issues, hang-ups and a nut job husband who is probably amassing a small army to hunt me down, right as we are speaking?
But again... My mouth opens before I fully engage my brain...
“Okay”
“Okay, what do you mean okay, okay what, what are you saying?”
“I'm saying okay, let's give it a go, I'm saying okay, we'll go at my pace and okay I'll let you see my face when you make me come.... But not until the bruises start to go and I've washed the blood out of my hair and even then, I warn you now... My come face ain't pretty”
We both lay back on our pillows and start to laugh we laugh so long and hard we have tears running down our cheeks, Gabe’s from so much laughing and mine because it bloody hurts to laugh. Ouch..!
CHAPTER FIVE
Gabriel drives me over to look at the place he has for rent during Sunday and, just like him it is perfect. Two bedrooms and a spa out on the decked veranda. It’s in a little complex behind security gates. He skirts around the issue of rent and tells me not to worry about it until I have got myself straight, so I tell him I’ll take it. Now all I need is some furniture. He doesn’t want me to move in for a week as he wants to paint and put a new floor down in the family room... Family room, that’s a sad joke, it will just be Lauren's room, I’m not expecting any family here!
Gabriel drops me back at Jo's Sunday afternoon and I finally call Jason. He answers with
“Where the fuck are you?”
“Don't worry about where I am, I want you to stop calling me and stop leaving messages, I don't want to talk to you, and I won't be coming back to the house”
I take a deep breath after I get my words out, there I've said it. My heart is racing and my hand is shaking as I hold the phone.
“What do you mean you’re not coming back to the house, where are you, where are you going to stay? You haven't got any money and if you don't come home, I will cancel your cards and your phone”
“Cancel what you like, I don't care, I'm not coming back Jay, you've gone too far this time”
“Oh here we go again, I s'pose your with one of your stupid fucking mates telling them how I beat you up. Everything's always about you. You fucking drama queen”
"I don't need to tell anyone anything Jay; they only have to look at me to see what you've done this time”
“Is that right Lauren, and what exactly have I done, eh, you broke a nail, got a bruise somewhere?” he asks sarcastically.
“Several actually” I reply “as well as a fractured cheek bone and a gash in my head, yeah you did a good job this time Jay but you know what, it's not just about the bruises, I have put up with all your shit because I thought, stupidly it would now seem, that you actually loved me, that we had something worth fighting for, and then I find out that you’ve been fucking someone else, well thanks Jay, really, a big thank you, for finally making me wake up to myself, we have nothing now, nothing left fighting for, we are done! That was the last time you will ever lay a finger on me, that's it, I'm going straight to the solicitors tomorrow to start divorce proceedings and if you come anywhere near me or my friends, I will go to the police and file assault and harassment charges. So stay the fuck away”
I'm so angry with him and his dismissive attitude I want to scream and I start to cry out of pure frustration. He just doesn't understand the gravity of what he has done to me, he just doesn’t get it.
“So that's it?” he asks “all these years and one fight and you’re leaving and want a divorce ... There's more to it than that, who are you fucking Lauren? You've probably been planning this for ages. Well I'll tell you what, you go and see your solicitor but when I find out who your fucking, I will come for you and him Lauren and just for the record, what you left with is all you’re getting, you won't be getting a penny out of me, you cunt”
“So you can fuck about and you can slap me about all you like and I am supposed to just put up with that am I? The slapping about maybe, fucking someone else, no way, never, I thought you knew me well enough to know at least that much about me. And you know what? I don't want anything Jason, I will come and collect my personal bits whenever but the rest, the house and the furniture, you can keep it all, I want nothing that will remind me of you…and Jay just so we are clear, I will fuck whomever I please, so just stay away from me and stop calling”