Okaaay, looks like that’s about as much info I will be getting on that subject…
We chat for a while about construction, design and the state of the world economy, before moving on to hobbies, music, and sport. With every topic, he gives a little bit more of himself up, becomes less guarded, he obviously laughs at my unrelenting wit and in return he makes me laugh and I relax a little, forgetting everything other than him and our conversation. Until that is, the topic of relationships comes up, it’s not his fault, it is an innocent enough question, I just wasn’t prepared for it…
“So, what's your ‘status’ at the moment?” he asks with a smile “Relationship wise?”
For a horrible moment I think I’m going to cry. The alcohol and my confession to the girls earlier have bought things to the surface and I'm feeling ridiculously emotional. I swallow hard and choke back the sob that’s threatening to escape, I scratch at the back of my neck as I try to compose myself, he is watching me intently and I think he realises I am struggling before I even do. I blink a couple of times to get my thoughts straight before speaking and as I do, a lone, traitorous tear slips from my eye and down my cheek.
“Shit, shit, I'm sorry” he says moving closer to me
“That bad hey, that new? Sorry I didn't know, fuck, I'm sorry. I'm such a dick”
I smile and shake my head, get a fuckin grip woman.
“Ahhh, no really, it's not your fault, how embarrassing, it's just that it’s an ‘It’s complicated’ status and very new, in fact, I've not even left him yet”
Why. Why the fuck did I tell him that? God I'm a mess! I look up, directly into his eyes and give the slightest of smiles, feeling very embarrassed. He leans towards me, and my stomach lurches as I wonder again what he is going to do. The whole bar and its occupants seem to vanish around us as he uses the pad of his thumb to wipe away a tear from under my eye then he puts his thumb in his mouth and sucks, never breaking eye contact with me.
Oh my god, that was, possibly, one of the sexiest things I have ever seen! Was my mouth wide open again?? Unconsciously, I raise my hand to make sure my mouth is closed. It is.
“Shit! That's not good; does he know you’re leaving him?"
I shake my head, and another tear escapes, he wipes it away again, pulling me towards him by my hand.
He shrugs his shoulders and says “Poor bloke. He's in for a bit of a shock then. I’m guessing he will be doing the crying when he finds out he’s losing you” He shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head “Well, I'm all ears, if you wanna talk Lauren, I may not be good at polite conversation with women, but I am a good listener to their problems, I have a sister and sister in laws, who love to share. I'll go get us another drink, while you have a think about it… I am sorry I made you cry, it's the last thing I would ever want to do” Then leaning into my ear, “unless it's out loud, during a moment of pleasure”
WTF OMFG! Can’t think of any more but you get my point. He smells unbelievable; I’m not exactly sure what the fragrance is but it’s clean and fresh and so fucking sexy. This is too much, he is too much, not only is he as hot as a hot thing but he is actually a really nice bloke, really nice, too nice maybe? My thought are a muddled mess, is he for real or is this just a game to him, am I just a bit more of a challenge, something a bit different for his Friday night, what am I thinking, what am I doing? I'm a 45 year old married woman, I'm standing in a bar, letting a man of 35ish, hit on me and buy me dinks. A fucking hot, sex god looking man granted but even so, what am I thinking? I have never been unfaithful to my husband. I have kissed other men on only two occasions, once when he was planning on leaving me and just last year, when I had gone out with the girls the night after Jay pulled my hair and smashed my head into a wall during an argument. That was a drunken revenge pash that made me feel a lot better about myself. I had proceeded to go home to my husband and have hot, wild, drunken makeup sex with him...
But right now, right at this moment, I can’t wait for Gabriel Wilde to make me cry out loud with pleasure, because I know, as sure as I know not to eat yellow snow, that it WILL happen.
The band are playing a Bon Jovi song and I focus on the lyrics of You Give Love A Bad Name, rather than looking at him as I try to get my heart beat back to its normal rhythm, my palms are clammy and cold. I turn to look for my girlfriends just as Jemma pops up at my side.