“Yeah well, there will sure be plenty of it for him to love at this rate. Are you taking care of yourself? I’m worried about you being alone right now,” she responds and although her concern makes me feel better, I wish it was coming from Jacob.
“I’m okay. Don’t worry about me.”
“Yeah, that’s not going to happen girl. I better get though I’ll call you again tomorrow. There’s a party here tonight and Dragon’s flipping his shit because Skull and his boys will be here. You should see the outfit he wants me to wear.”
I definitely smile now because Nicole has told me how jealous Dragon is, especially of Skull.
“What is it?”
“Oh my lord woman, it’s like this dress from the eighties that has poufy shoulders and buttons all the way to the wrist and buttons up at the neck! The neck, Carrie!”
I laugh out loud.
“Well some of those dresses can be pretty?” I try to console her, but the response comes out as a question, because I know it will get worse.
I was right.
“Carrie! It comes down to my ankles! MY ANKLES!”
“Well…”
“WOMAN! It has flowers on it! Before you start, it’s not flowers like you wear! We’re talking full-fledged pink and dusty rose flowers that are like bigger than a dinner plate all over the damn thing! My grandmother would have refused to wear this dress.”
“So, I take it you’re not wearing it?”
“Not on your life. I’m wearing the sleaziest outfit I could find and I raided Lip’s closet, so there you go.”
“Dragon will go off the deep end.”
“Probably, but I’ll get sex out of it and get to watch him explode so hey.”
“Love you, Nicole.”
“Right back at you girl, don’t you forget it. We’ll talk soon.”
“Okay,” I stare at the phone in my hand once she hangs up.
I miss her. I miss all of them to be honest. It hurt to hear that Jacob hasn’t been asking about me. I didn’t expect him to, but really it would have been nice. As I put the phone down, my stomach drops. Party? The picture of Jacob with Tash on his lap comes to mind and I want to scream.
I go grab the pint of chocolate ice cream I have in the freezer instead.
Chapter 35
Dancer
Two weeks. It’s been two weeks since I’ve laid eyes on Carrie. It’s been almost as long as that since I’ve heard her voice. I call every night. Fuck sometimes twice a night. She’s only picked up once. It turns out you can walk around dead on the inside. I am. Nothing seems to matter anymore. It’s all empty without my woman. I asked my mom to check on her. I finally broke down and called her the other night, desperate to know someone was trying to take care of Carrie. Mom’s not exactly happy with me either, so that conversation did nothing to lessen the guilt eating me alive since Carrie left.
I want to fucking scream and go and get her. I don’t. She deserves someone to make her happy, someone who can get his life together. That’s obviously not me.
I say obviously because it’s another night alone without her and I’m at the club, drunk off my ass and the party hasn’t even started yet. It’s not due to start for another couple of hours. Dragon is throwing a party to announce Nicole being pregnant with his baby. They’ve apparently set a wedding date too. La’ de’ fucking da.
I look over at them. He’s got her on his lap, their hands overlapping on her stomach. She’s got a small bump there. It’s barely noticeable and you’d probably not see it now except for what she is wearing.
Actually I’m kind of surprised that Dragon let his woman dress like that. She’s got a lot of skin showing and if that skirt got any shorter I could see her ass. As it is, you can still catch a glimpse here and there. No way in hell I’d let Carrie wear anything like that.
I stare at their hands and watch as Dragon leans down to place a kiss on her stomach. The bitterness twists in my gut. What would it be like to be a whole man? To be able to claim your woman and your baby to the world, knowing you could protect them, be there for them and not fail them…