She wasn’t sure why she’d phrased it that way, as if an unseen, outside force had been the one to attack Cassie, when in reality that dark force had been Jake.
“He asked me if I was attracted to you, and I said yes.” Reese tightened her grip on Sloan’s hand. “I told him I wanted you and he lost it. He said he’d kill any man who touched me, that only he had the right to do that. He was so out of control that night. He fucked me harder than he’d ever done before.” Shame bubbled in her throat, causing her to turn away from Sloan’s serious eyes. “And I loved it.”
She jerked when he wrenched her face toward him so she had no choice but to look at him. “It’s okay to like it rough, sweetheart. It’s okay to like what he did to you.”
“But what he did to Cassie . . .” The lump in her throat grew impossibly bigger. “That wasn’t okay. God, Sloan, you should’ve heard the things he was screaming at her. How it was his right to touch whoever he wanted, to take whoever he wanted. Cassie was lying there on our bed, bleeding from all the places he’d beat her. Crying, begging for me to help her.”
“You did help her.”
“I helped her too late.” She bit her lip. “I drove him to that. I told him I wanted you, and he had to go and show me that I wasn’t allowed to touch another man, but that he was allowed to touch whoever he wanted even if it was against her will. I did that.”
“No, you didn’t,” Sloan said firmly, but then his resolve crumbled and a ragged breath shuddered out of his throat. “If anything, it was my fault.”
She blinked in surprise. “What are you talking about?”
“I said something to Jake too,” he confessed.
Her heartbeat took off in an erratic gallop. “You did?”
“After he laid his claim, I tried so hard to keep my feelings for you in check. But it wasn’t easy.” Guilt clung to his tone. “The more time I spent in this town, the more I admired you. And the more I admired you, the harder it was to keep my cock under control. I wanted you so badly I couldn’t stand to be around you.”
His voice, so deep and gruff and laced with regret, brought the sting of tears to her eyes.
“I managed to keep my dick in my pants. I managed to keep my mouth shut. But then . . .” He swallowed visibly. “Jake’s eye was beginning to wander.”
Reese’s teeth clamped onto her lower lip again. Yeah, she’d always suspected.
“So I asked him if there was room in the bedroom for one more. We’d shared women before, so it didn’t seem like an outrageous request at the time. But . . . Christ, he didn’t like that. He told me that he’d slit your throat before he let another man touch you.”
Her eyes widened.
“That’s when my allegiance shifted from Jake to you,” Sloan admitted. “From that day on, I was your man. When I got up in the morning, it was to make sure that your day ran smoothly. When I lay down at night, I would think about all the ways I needed to protect you so that you could protect everyone else. And most of all, I kept an eye on Jake.”
Reese blinked rapidly to try to stop the tears from spilling over. She’d always known Sloan was loyal to her, but . . . she hadn’t expected to hear this. Any of it.
“But it wasn’t a close enough eye,” he muttered darkly. “I didn’t see what he was doing. All those women he’d been with while he was fucking you weren’t willing bed mates. I should’ve known that, damn it. I should’ve known that the women in this town loved you. You, Reese, and they wouldn’t, not for a second, let Jake in their beds behind your back.”
When he touched her cheek again, Reese sagged into the warmth of his palm. The nausea grew stronger, swirling in her stomach. She’d known that Jake was getting out of control. She’d seen him forcing the women to serve him his food and drinks. Dishing out punishment for any minor transgression committed in the camp. He’d even set up a whipping pole in the town square, where men and women alike were belted for whatever crime he believed they’d committed.
But the rapes . . . taking the women and even some of the men against their will . . . that was a whole other level of savagery. He’d told them it was their duty to serve him, but even Jake must’ve known that what he was doing was wrong, otherwise he wouldn’t have sworn his people to secrecy. He told them it was their duty, but really it was his own twisted perversions, his own distorted ideas of what it meant to be a leader.
Jake had been sick.
“I didn’t know,” she whispered. “I really didn’t know.”
“I know you didn’t,” Sloan assured her. “Neither did I. If I had, I would’ve put him down long before that, spared everyone all that pain and terror.”
“I don’t know if you could’ve done it by yourself. I don’t think I would’ve been able to,” she admitted. “You loved him.”
“Yeah, I loved him . . . until I hated him.”
A sad smile touched her lips. That was what it boiled down to, wasn’t it? They’d loved Jake until they’d hated him.
“Do you regret it?” Sloan asked in a hoarse voice. “Killing him?”