He grabbed my wrist and twisted. My whole body followed. The wall stopped me, but I wished it hadn’t. I wanted to melt into it, to just fade away. All my hard-fought words of power, obliterated with the grip of his fist.
Where was the boy who’d chased me on the pier or filched my books, only to return them just as stealthily? I wanted to ask him that and so much more, but the cold brick muzzled me. “I do hear you,” he said behind my ear. “And I…I want to listen to you.”
“But you won’t.” My shoulders slumped against the wall like a cold embrace.
“It was a mistake to walk away before,” he said. “And it was a mistake…what happened. I want to make it right with you. And now, with her. It’s a lot to take in, but I feel like I owe her something. And I already know I owe you.”
“Why don’t you start by letting me go?”
He released me. I rolled against the wall to face him but still leaned against it. It was so blessedly vertical.
“I don’t think I can walk away this time,” he said.
I was too tired to fight, and I already knew I’d lose. He’d proven that handily. “You wanted to leave, so you left. You want to stay, so you will.” You wanted to fuck me, so you did, but I didn’t say that. “What about what I want?”
“Tell me what you want. Tell me how I can help you.”
He didn’t get it. He could help me by leaving. But he wouldn’t go.
I shook my head. “Go away, Andrew. Go away, or I’ll call the cops and they’ll make you.” It was risky, to bring up the cops. Andrew wouldn’t want them involved, would think he might get in trouble if they were called. He didn’t know the cops didn’t care, but he didn’t call my bluff.
“I’ll go,” he said. “But I’m staying in town. I’m going to give you some time to cool down, think things through. Then we’ll talk again. We’re going to work this out, whether you believe that right now or not.”
Chapter Ten
Once his car was out of sight, I ran up the steps. Shelly took one look at my face, said, “Shit,” and pulled me inside. “What happened?”
I walked past her to Bailey, who saw me and held out her arms for me to pick her up. Squeezing her close to me, I buried my face in her downy hair. She gurgled a protest and squirmed.
“You’re scaring me,” Shelly said. “Tell me what happened. Is it Rick?”
“What? Why would it be Rick?”
“I thought maybe…I don’t know. You’re just not giving me much to go on. You come back late from work, and now you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“I’m sorry I was late.” I set Bailey down, and she immediately went back to her toys.
I sat down on Shelly’s couch. My fingers stroked the soft leather. It was so out of place in this crappy apartment, but I knew why she was here. It was for me. For Bailey. Oh God, what would I do? She reached for my hands, and I jerked back without thinking.
“Jesus, Allie. Tell me what’s going on.”
“It’s Andrew.” I waved my hand. “He was here.”
“Where? In Chicago?”
“No, here. At our apartment. Just outside. I watched him drive away, but he said he’ll be back. He’s coming back.”
“Oh, shit.”
“And he saw Bailey’s car seat. He knows about her. I need to go. I need to take her and leave.”
“That’s crazy. Where will you go?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll track down my dad. Ride in his truck for a while.” It was mostly a joke. My dad may not have been a stellar example of fatherhood, but he’d help me if I were in trouble. Still, riding around in the cab of a semitruck with a baby wasn’t a realistic plan.
But what could I do other than run? The law wouldn’t be on my side. I’d found that out two years ago.
It would only take a DNA test to confirm what Andrew already suspected. He was the biological father of Bailey. And if he pursued it, he could be her father legally too. At one time I would’ve thought those were the only ways that counted, but not now.
I didn’t think of him as Bailey’s father. I couldn’t. She was mine.
If I stayed, he could compel me to let him near Bailey. Hell, to let him near me. The court system, the authorities, they would support him.
But if I ran, what kind of life would that be for Bailey? When would it end? I had trouble enough keeping her stocked in diapers and secondhand plastic toys even with a reasonably steady job at the bakery. On the run, even that would be in jeopardy, and who would watch Bailey when I worked? I wasn’t sure I could hold up without Shelly.
“Hey, there,” she said. “I know this is bad, but we’ll work it out. You’re not in this alone.”
“Ah, God.” I put my head in my hands. “I’m not trying to be a whiny bitch here, but sometimes it feels like the cards are stacked against us, you know?”
“Yeah,” she said. “I know. Do you think…?”
“You know the police won’t help. And I don’t have money for a lawyer, much less a good one.”
“I wasn’t going to say that.” At her pause I looked up to see Shelly tracing her fingernails in the woodlike grooves of the plastic coffee table. “What about that guy?”
I blinked. “Colin? What about him?”