“Oh, Colin.”
He hid behind a thicker skin than I could ever hope to breach. The only reason I was seeing this was because he’d let me in. I fell in love with him a little right then, as he sat, so large and competent yet so vulnerable. I wanted him for my own, and that wanting was like a chant in my head. A greedy, futile chant.
“Maybe there is something special between us,” I finally said, “but it’s just too hard. I’ve got so much baggage I could sink the Titanic, and you…well, you have your own baggage, don’t you?”
Maybe I was being mean, I thought, as I watched his defenses tighten up again right in front of my eyes. Sometimes mean was good. Sometimes mean was the difference between survival and going under.
“Don’t put this on me, Allie. I’m not the one too scared to give this a shot.”
“No, you’re just the one who’s part of a violent, tiny mob family who goes around beating people up for fun.” We had both raised our voices, angry that this wasn’t going to work and yet unable to fix it.
“I can’t believe you’re mad about that. That guy was an asshole who hurt you. He deserved what he got.”
“That’s not the point. It’s not up to you. Did you ever think of what would happen if he got angry with me and tried to hurt me back? I was at the clinic with Bailey when I saw him.”
“I made it clear he wasn’t to touch you ever again. Besides, you should have called me if you needed to go to the clinic.”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh, please. I’ll just call you whenever I need anything at all.”
“I would have come with you.”
“Yeah, unless you were doing something for your brother.”
His nostrils flared, but he didn’t respond.
“It seems to me like you’re the one who’s stuck in the past. If you want to be with me and Bailey, fine. Then stop doing dangerous things that could come back on us.”
“You can’t ask me to give up my family.”
“I’m not asking for that. You can see him all you want, just don’t do anything illegal for him, anything violent.”
“It’s the same thing.”
“Then what kind of family is that? He just wants you for what you can do for him.”
He stepped toward me. “Yeah. That’s right. And you think you’re better than him? We all pay for what we want, me included. You’re not giving me anything for free, so don’t play the martyr. You’ll fuck me to get what you want, and who the fuck cares what I want?”
I stared at him in shock.
He lowered his voice, still breathing hard. “Everyone has a price, Allie. And I’m not paying yours.”
Colin turned and left the apartment, the door latching quietly behind him.
Chapter Nine
“The ants are back!” In my frustration I let my voice ring out through the bakery. It was closed at this early hour anyway.
“Jesus Christ,” Rick swore from the bathroom.
With a sigh, I wiped away the ants and rolled out my dough.
A few minutes later, Rick came out. “You didn’t have to scream at me. Missed the toilet.”
“Well, I hope you cleaned it up, because I’m not touching your piss.” I waved my flour-covered fingers at him.
He narrowed his eyes at me but returned to the bathroom. A minute later he came out.
“Did you wash your hands?”
“Yes,” he snapped but then turned back to the bathroom. I heard the water run for a minute before he came out again.
He leaned against the wall by the phone. “What’s up your ass?”
“It’s not unreasonable to expect you to wash your hands. Clean working environment. Food preparation. Health code violations. Any of this ring a bell?” Working being a relative term for Rick, but between him and the bugs, this place was getting gross.
He shrugged. “It’s not that. You’ve been bitchy lately.”
“This is just how I am.”
His expression turned mulish. “Maybe, but it’s been really bad for a few weeks now.”
“PMS.” I gave him my best feral smile. Drop it.
“See?” He grinned. “Bitchy.”
“Yeah, well, do me a favor and fire me.” Not that he would, and not that I really wanted him to. The job sucked, but it kept Bailey in diapers and that was the important thing.
“Mmm, no thank you. Maybe if you don’t get that custom cupcake order done by the end of your shift.”
“Don’t tempt me.”
He went into his office, probably afraid he’d actually annoy me enough to bail. I was the only person he trusted enough to do the large, expensive orders. And none of the others even did fondant. If only I could use my leverage for something useful? like a raise.
Bitchy. I snorted. Hell, yes, I was bitchy.