“Coming up to one year.”
Damn, he was hard to make conversation with, and not that I wanted to flirt with him, but I figured that would be pointless too. I was sitting next to him with my cleavage on full display and he hadn’t even taken a look. Not even a peek. “You’re not into women?” I asked. I favoured directness; it usually got you the answer you were looking for rather than fucking around with subtle questions.
He finally ran his eyes over my body before running his hand through his hair. “Baby, you’ve no idea. But it ain’t worth my while to even look at a woman the VP is friends with.”
“Thank God for that, because I gotta tell you, it would be a loss to womankind if you were into guys.”
He laughed and I lamented the fact I was friends with Scott. We finished the rest of the drive home in silence. He dropped Roxie off first and then me. As I was getting out of the car, I said, “If I ever stop being friends with Scott Cole, I’ll be sure to look you up.” He grinned and I gave him a wink before going inside. It had been ages since I’d flirted with a man and it felt good. Maybe it was time to get back out there and find some fun.
Chapter 13
Everything Has Changed ~ Taylor Swift & Ed Sheeran
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Nash
I dropped my head down into my hands. The question Madison had just asked me was one I didn’t want to think about, let alone answer.
“Nash,” she said, quietly, “You do feel something for her, don’t you?”
The pressure I felt when I thought about Velvet buzzed in my head. It was easier not to think about her, and fuck, I’d tried. Ever since I’d pushed her away, I spent most of my time trying not to think about her. But she consumed my thoughts, day and night. It was worse at night when I was alone, and the darkness encouraged my mind to wander into dangerous territory. Thoughts of the past collided with thoughts about Velvet, and the weight of everything was almost unbearable.
I looked back up at Madison. She was watching me, waiting patiently for me to reply. Finally, I admitted the truth. “Yes, I do.”
She smiled. It was a smile full of kindness and love. “Have you ever felt like this about a woman before?”
I sucked in a breath. This was shit I didn’t want to go over, but I’d gotten to the point where I knew I had to. I couldn’t ignore it any longer. “Once. A very long time ago.”
She nodded. “Who was it? Tell me about her.”
I’d come here tonight with the intention of talking. Hell, I’d actually asked Madison if I could come over to talk, but now I wanted to get the fuck out of here.
At my silence, Madison spoke again. “Nash, you once told me that people like us need to get this stuff out otherwise we fall back into old habits. You need to talk, and I want to be here for you because you’ve always been there for me.”
I hated it when my words were thrown back at me, even if it was done out of kindness. Ah, fuck it. I opened up. “It was my ex wife, Gabriella. I met her when I was twenty; the first chick I ever did crazy shit for. She fuckin’ knew how to push my buttons to get what she wanted and I was a fool for her.”
Madison’s face was full of surprise. “Wow, I didn’t realise you’d been married before.”
“It’s not a fact I run around advertising, babe.”
“So, she screwed you over, huh?”
“In all senses of that word.”
“What do you mean?”
My chest was heavy with the anger I’d never resolved where Gabriella was concerned. “She fucked around on me. I found out and we agreed to work on it but then I found out she kept that shit up. And then she screwed our family right over.”
Fuck.
My heart was pumping hard and fast in my chest. I stood up and began pacing the room, taking deep breaths to try and calm myself down.
“Are you okay?” Madison came up behind me and placed her hand on my back.
It never failed to amaze me what the human touch was capable of. Sometimes it hurt and sometimes it loved. Madison’s gentle touch was loving and it was exactly what I needed right now. It helped quiet the demons and after a couple of minutes, I had my breathing under control.
I turned to face her. “A man’s lucky to have a woman like you in his life, sweet thing.”
“I’m always here for you, Nash. It hurts me to see you like this; I wish you would let me help you more.”
I pulled her close. “You are helping me, babe. More than you know.” I let her go so I could look her in the eyes. “I’ve never really talked to anyone about this shit. I know I need to but I’ve gotta get my head ready first.”
“I understand. Just remember that I’m always here whenever you need to talk.”
“Thanks, darlin’.”
The air was thick with the burden of ghosts. This was why I hated digging up shit from the past. We both took a moment to deal with it.
Eventually, Madison smiled at me before asking, “So, what are you going to do about Velvet?”