If Evan had any idea I was alive at all, it had to be a vague one. And probably because of my brother. I’d admitted having a schoolgirl crush on two different boys today, and having everyone and their mother think I was prone to such things started to irk me. Both were lies, but they also felt like the tiniest of betrayals to the boy I did love, who waited more than three thousand years in the past to see me once more before he died.
“Are you going to ask him to the party?” Sarah teased around a mouthful of toothpaste.
“Who?” The thoughts in my head had pulled me into a different world.
“Your new crush, dummy.”
“Are you off your nut?” I countered. “Ask Evan Pritchard to his own certification party, the night before to boot? Yes, I think that sounds like a fine idea.”
My friends dissolved into giggles, probably at the thought of my even speaking to Evan, never mind asking him to spend the evening with me. I ignored them and went into my bedroom, grabbing my personal tablet comp from my desk on the way past and snuggling under the covers.
The mention of the party tomorrow reminded me that I hadn’t put together an outfit. The contents of the wardrobe closets were loaded into the central database, and even though we weren’t allowed to research for observations without being in the pods, dressing ourselves for events by flipping through virtual options was allowed.
Our dormitory closets and drawers were filled with little other than our black, skin-molded suits, undergarments, and the standard issue pj’s. We each had a few hand-me-downs, brought from home, but events that allowed for actual clothing got all the girls in a stir. I had more on my mind than picking out a dress for the certification party, but it had to be done. Fitting in, going unnoticed … those had become desirable goals since I found that cuff.
Sarah plopped on my bed, smashing my legs. I scowled at her but relented, shifting so there was room for her and Analeigh, who joined us a moment later. Our pajamas and glasses might match, except for the colors, but the three of us were opposites in so many ways. The two of them were pretty blondes with light eyes, though Sarah’s hair fell straight to her chin while Analeigh’s tumbled in waves almost to her waist. Both a contrast to my olive skin, chestnut hair, and matching eyes.
“What are you wearing tomorrow night?” Sarah asked, her eyes lit with interest.
“I was trying to figure it out.” I fanned through eras of clothing, my mind torn between Caesarion and the mystery with Oz, my heart aching for what Sarah might face with a lifetime of his new inclination to do what he pleased.
She took the personal comp from my hands, and then she and Analeigh bent over it, fighting over whose finger took control of finding me an outfit.
“That one,” Analeigh said, stabbing at something I couldn’t see.
“No, she’ll look like that old mouse.”
“What old mouse?”
“The one from Disney World’s girlfriend.”
“Minnie Mouse?”
“I’m with Sarah,” I interrupted, recalling the mouse in question. “No polka dots.”
“It would be a sexy Minnie Mouse.” Analeigh pouted. “Maybe Evan likes polka dots.”
If looks could kill, my best friend would have been dead and buried.
“I think it’s the right style, Analeigh. Just not red polka dots. The 1950s housewife totally fits Kaia’s personality.”
“Except for the ‘doing what she’s told’ part.”
“Not actually being a housewife, ew.” Sarah rolled her eyes. “Just the pretty dresses that show off those legs that make us both totally jealous.”
I snuggled back into my pillows, tucking my cold toes under Analeigh’s thigh, and let my friends take over dressing me for tomorrow’s party. Their chatter and discussion faded into the background as my thoughts returned to the bathroom, to the lingering feeling of betrayal all of my fake crushes ignited in my heart.
Loving another couldn’t be a betrayal to Caesarion. He was dead and gone, turned to dust long ago, and unless his beliefs held true, we would never meet again after his death, or after mine. My life was now, and in the years to come; I couldn’t look on new relationships as somehow tarnishing the perfect connection between Trues. No one else thought that way. People in Genesis enjoyed love, great love, with people they chose. As much as I cared for Caesarion, as much as I loved being with him and hated the idea of losing it, I hated to think I’d never be happy again.
I had adored every moment of being with my True, but the push and pull of my feelings tied my insides into a huge knot of confusion. As though the Kaia that took the risk of traveling back to Egypt wasn’t the Kaia sitting here now, listening to her friends plan for a party. We were separated by something distinct. Knowledge, maybe. Or simply time.
Whatever it was, I had to find a way to let that earlier, naive version of myself go.
To let Caesarion go.
Chapter Twenty
Something was coming.
I felt it, like electricity in the air before a storm on Earth Before. The promise that the sky would soon darken and change, that rain would lash the earth, trees would bend in the wind, and anyone with good sense would take cover indoors. I had been accused of many things these past several days, but possessing good sense had not been brought up once, so of course, I chose to ignore it. My path wasn’t changing, not right away—I promised Caesarion I would return once more to ancient Egypt and I would. As soon as I got this ridiculous certification party out of the way.
There were three gathering rooms at the Academy. Table comps and uncomfortable desks in metal study carrels filled one, what passed for homey furniture around here and walls lined with holo-sets for watching old television shows and movies decorated another—although most Historians considered doing so for pure entertainment and not research wasteful and idle. We lived in observation and reflection mode pretty much all the time. Every piece of history, even if it were originally meant only to entertain, held details that helped us better understand our forebearers. Our duty was to soak it in and spit it out, each in our unique way, not laugh at it.