The dread in my mouth tasted horrible. “Tell me.”
He ignored my pleading, more pronounced aloud than it had been in my mind. “You can’t break these rules. They’re in place for a reason, and it’s to ensure that this society we’ve worked so hard to form stays intact.”
The phrase stays intact brought Caesarion’s kind face to my mind and calm swished through me. It also reminded me of the tactics and maneuverings that colored the ancient world, and I recognized that Oz and I were in a negotiation of sorts—and that he did not hold the only hand.
“What makes you so high and mighty? You stand there and tell me that I’m such a terrible apprentice for not following the rules, but you’re doing the exact same thing!”
“I have permission and you know it.” He smirked, a mean expression hardening his gaze. This wasn’t Oz. Oz was shy and quiet and awkward and yeah, sometimes haughty, but mean? He never had been. “You know, I’ve been warned by my father not to fall for your supposed advances.”
Mortification heated my blood, but denying it was dumb. “I let them believe what they wanted.”
“So your real secret would not be found out.”
“You know my real secret, Oz, and you’ve always loved reminding all of us how much better and smarter you are. Yet you’re here threatening me instead of telling your father what you know. Why?”
“Because we’ve known each other most of our lives. I consider you a friend. Our history counts for something to me even if it doesn’t to you. And I’m warning you—I’m begging you—you’ve got to stop.” He dropped my wrist, staring a little at the red welts he’d left behind as though someone else had made them, blood draining from his face. “I’m trying to help you.”
The decontamination doors released at that moment, the hiss of the air lock popping my eardrums. I shoved past him and into the hallway, struggling to breathe. My entire body shook from head to toe, as though there hadn’t been enough oxygen in the pod. My wrist burned from his tight grip and I gulped air, determined not to cry in the halls. Determined not to run away from him.
The escape brought my anger back on a swift and powerful wave of indignation. “Newsflash. I didn’t ask for your help, Oz, and I don’t want it. You say we’re friends and that means something but you can’t even tell me what’s going on. So you know what? Turn me in or don’t, but don’t act like you’re being a friend of any sort.”
I didn’t wait for a reply, stomping off toward my dorm. The shakes wouldn’t be left behind as easily as Oz, though, and our confrontation added to my fear and confusion over everything that had happened these past several days.
The Elders were lying. Oz had a secret, and it had changed him. Just now, the first boy I’d kissed, who’d said exactly two words the entire first year at the Academy, had hurt me. Threatened me.
He was wrong about one thing—those seven years counted for something for me, too. It meant that, even without realizing it, I heard what he hadn’t said.
Oz was scared.
And if a guy whose father sat as an Elder, who had traveled alone with supposed permission and altered the past as though he knew the outcomes had a reason to be afraid, I had to assume I did, too.
*
I found Analeigh in our room, thanking the stars she was alone. I didn’t think I could stand to see Sarah’s face right now, not after my confrontation with her True moments ago.
My best friend leaped up from her bed, fear and worry drawing her features together in a pinch. “Kaia! I’ve been texting. Where have you been? What happened to you?”
I crashed into her, wrapping my arms around her back and letting loose the sobs that had been building since the good-bye with Caesarion on the beach.
“Whoa. It’s okay. The Elders let you go; it must not be too serious.” She sank onto her blue comforter and took me with her, smoothing my hair like my mother would have.
My uncharacteristic display of emotion probably freaked her out, but I was pretty freaked out, too. Everything had turned into such a mess in the blink of an eye. When my sobs finally subsided into hiccups I sat up, wiping my sore eyes and feeling dumb.
“Sorry. It’s been a crazy day.”
“Start with what happened when the Elders pulled you out of Reflection, and tell me everything.” Analeigh pinned me with her toughest gaze, the concern in her eyes pushing my guilt to new levels. “Everything, Kaia.”
The secrets were too many to keep now. They reached too far, impacted too many other people. They churned inside me until they threatened to hurl out in actual vomit instead of words. The Elders, and Oz, and my brother, had been keeping everyone’s eyes closed to some greater truth, but we were all Historians and we deserved to know.
“Okay. First of all, the Elders pulled me out of Reflection because I accessed a trail of files related to weapons development. They thought Jonah had asked me to help him figure out how to make new ones. Truman assumed I’d been snooping into the files Oz has been reflecting on the past couple of days to, like, stalk him or something.”
She sucked in a breath. “It doesn’t surprise me that militant whack job keeps close tabs on Oz’s bio data, but I had no idea certain search parameters were alarmed.”
“Neither did I. They said any file related to the primary reasons for the fall of society on Earth Before are flagged. Weapons, segregation, overpopulation, organized religion, class distinction.” I rattled off the big five, then remembered the strange tone of Minnie’s reflection, and relayed that, too.
“Exile? That’s what it said? Not evacuation or relocation?” Her manicured eyebrows drew together and she worried her bottom lip between her teeth. “Strange. Like they thought they could fix it. Return.”
“I thought so, too.” I paused. “And Oz hasn’t just been researching the development of weapons. He’s been going out on observations alone, and he changed a trajectory during at least one of them. I know because I saw him, and followed up in the Archives.”