I stand up and stretch and crack my jaw and knuckles, anything to try and take the edge off this rage I feel: why, why us? In the blink of an eye my world has been changed forever, the three people I love most in the world all affected…and there’s not a thing I can do to change it. My Dad’s dead, my Dad, Charlie Wilde, is dead, gone, I no longer have living parents, both of them now gone, but people lose their parents all the time right? Doesn’t make it any easier when it happens to you though, but we always knew it was something that would happen one day, we all grow up knowing that one day we will lose our parents at some stage, I know that more than most! But not this, not Lauren and definitely not Ava, not my child and the woman I love, the two people I’m supposed to protect and right in front of my eyes, they were almost wiped out, both now lying in separate hospitals, both comatose because of their injuries caused by a Jet Ski accident, right in front of my eyes, if Cooper hadn’t been there, Lauren would probably be dead and I would be trying to live with my decision to jump into the water and save Ava first, right now I owe my brother everything, he didn’t hesitate, as the accident unfolded in front of us, he jumped straight in and pulled Lauren to safety while I dragged Ava onto the boat but it still might not be enough, I still might lose them both and I can’t change it, I can hope and pray and beg but I can’t actually change it and I feel like an absolute failure; I’ve promised Lauren on more than one occasion now, that I would protect her, keep her safe and once again, I’ve failed to keep my promise.
I sit back down on what is quite possibly, the most uncomfortable chair on the fucking planet and drop my head in my hands and think back to the night that I first set eyes on Lauren; I hadn’t planned on going out that night, Friday the fourteenth of September 2012, the day that changed my life! When I woke up on that Friday morning my weekend was planned, I was picking Ava and Sophie up from Nina’s and they were coming to stay at mine for the weekend but then Ava called to say that Sophie was sick and she didn’t really feel like coming on her own and as school holidays were coming up and she would be staying with me for a week then, she wanted to spend some time with her Mum, Nina, my ex, who was expecting her third baby sometime soon.
Although why anyone would want to spend time in that woman’s company is fucking beyond me, or even get her pregnant for that matter, I shudder at the thought, grateful every day that I was too pissed to remember the night I fucked her and made her pregnant. Anyways…Ava cancelled and I was pissed off, I went to work with the biggest sook on, planning on calling Alyssa or one of my many other fuck buddies as I was now going to be at a loose end all weekend; I clear my schedule when I have Ava over, no work and definitely no women, but…I haven’t had a root in a couple of weeks so I might just tap one of my sure things tonight and maybe a different one tomorrow night, I might actually see if I can get Alyssa over tomorrow night with her mate, Kelly or Cally or whatever her name had been for a threesome, shame Jake wasn’t around, we had done some freaky shit with them two, really freaky shit, those two were wild and up for absofuckinlutely anything; the last time we had all been together at Alyssa’s place, the girls had fucked each other with a double header, while they let me and Jake fuck them up the arse at the same time, the pair of them had screamed so loud, someone had banged on the front door and asked if everything was alright! I had thought at the time, that I was living the dream but when I think back to what we did with those girls that night now, I feel nothing, I don’t even get a twinge…I let out a big sigh and walk out to the family room and make myself a cup of coffee, it’s dire, instant shit…I must remember, when Ava gets better and I have a moment to myself, I will donate a descent coffee machine to the ward so no other parent has to drink this shit, I walk back to Ava’s bed and as I pull the curtain back, a young nurse is there writing something down on Ava’s charts, I panic.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
“Yep, everything is fine, Dr Tan will speak to you tomorrow about slowly bringing her out of the coma, the swelling is nowhere near as bad as he thought and has gone down considerably and the small bleed that she had doesn’t seem to have done any damage but we won’t know for sure until we bring her round. I will leave it to the Dr to explain everything in detail tomorrow but that’s the plan. Do you have any questions?”
I shake my head, “No but thanks for letting me know, I, will, I need to go and see Lauren later, my partner, but I will wait till Ava’s Mum gets here, she will be okay won’t she? I won’t be gone long.”
“She will be fine, you really should go home and get some sleep. You will want to be awake when they bring her round.”
“I’m fine thanks.”
Go home and sleep, she’s kidding me, right?
I sit down on the arse numbing, back breaking chair and take a sip of the shithouse coffee. I can’t wait for Nina to get here so I can shoot back to the Alfred and see Lauren. Lauren, the love of my love. I’m not known for being a romantic but I am happy to stand up in front of anyone and declare my love for that woman and nobody is more surprised by that fact than I am.
Going back to September fourteenth, Zac had worked out I was pissed off about ten minutes after I had arrived at our office and had shouted at Michelle, our receptionist for the third time.
“Bro, chill out, stop shouting at the staff, what the fuck is wrong with you this morning?”
I shrugged, he would only take the piss and tell me to go and spend the weekend getting laid if I told him Ava had cancelled, but oh well.
“Ava cancelled, Sophie’s sick so she wants to stay home and spend time with Nina, before the new baby comes but I’ve cleared my schedule and don’t know what to do with myself.”
“Well me and Coop are going for a few beers down Main street tonight, you’re welcome to come with, you’d be doing me a massive favour, Coop always wants to talk about work and shit and it gets boring after a while.”