I actually couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was like a different man had come home with me from the restaurant; where had the man gone that had been running his fingers up my thighs under the table, whispering in my ear in the taxi about how he couldn’t wait to taste me? We had got home, he had gone to the toilet while I made our drinks. I had forgotten to press the crushed ice button on the dispenser on the fridge and had instead pressed cubed. Ice? I was now being subject to this abuse because of the consistency of the ice in the drink that I had just made him, how fucking dare he? I have no idea where it came from but suddenly everything came to the surface, every thought and feeling I had pushed down and supressed for almost a year bubbled up to my chest and in a split second, I found myself again.
“You know what Jay? If you don’t like the way I serve up your Baileys, how about you get up off your arse and go and make your own fucking drink. And while you’re at it, take a long look at yourself in the mirror because you ain’t such a fucking sex god yourself these days, with your greying hair and your moobs. And don’t kid yourself either. The last thing I want anywhere near me tonight is you bouncing on top of me with your shit attempts at shagging with that sad little excuse you have for a dick.”
I tried to get up after the first crack to the side of my jaw but as I did he hit me again and this time my head hit the tiles on the patio and I really saw stars, I don’t think I even cried at first, he dragged me inside by hair. Obviously not wanting to disturb the neighbours if I did make any kind of noise, he dragged me right through the house to our bedroom where he lifted me off the floor by my hair and by my throat, I couldn’t really hear what he was saying through his gritted teeth as my ears were still ringing from the last blow to my head. All I focused on was the froth at the corners of his mouth, that’s how much he hated me, that’s how angry he was, he was actually foaming at the moth with rage, he swung me back to the floor by my hair and then walked away.
That was the first time he had ever actually struck me, he’d pulled my hair. Dragged me by hair in fact, squeezed my throat, my cheeks, twisted my wrists, bent my arms back, but never had he full on smacked me around the face like that. I didn’t see him for the following two days after but in those two day, I had time to think and that was when I came to the conclusion it was over, there was nothing left of my marriage to save, nothing I wanted to save but for some reason it had taken me another whole six months and that final beating on the night I met Gabe to actually walk away for good; why? I will never know!
I wipe the tears from my face that I hadn’t even realised I had cried, just as Gabe scratches at his nuts and adjusts himself, he rolls towards me and throws his arm over my hip, a small smile plays across his lips as he moves his hand under the T shirt of his from last night that I am now wearing, his hand dips into the curve of my waist as it slides up my body and I watch as he lets out a sigh or is it a hum as he moves his hand around to my back and pulls me into him? He opens his eyes and blinks slowly, twice, and my heart stutters as his smiling eyes meet mine, his hand slides up and cups my boob.
“I fucking love you woman. Shit, I’m so happy Lauren, you have no idea baby, no idea how you make me feel.”
“Good morning. Somebodies woken up in a good mood, I thought you might have a hangover, after the beer, the wine, the bourbon and the weed you consumed last night.”
He closes his eyes and snuggles in as tight as he can to me, inhaling my hair and my skin.
“I feel shithouse, but as long as I wake up with you baby, I can deal with anything.”
He nips me with his teeth, tiny little bites, all along my jaw, sending goose bumps right across my skin, his nose is still sniffing my hair, in my ear, over my temple.
“You smell of sleep and our bed.”
“Well that would be because I have been sleeping. In our bed. Do you need some Panadol?”
He opens his eyes again and looks down at me. “Are you okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
He leans away from me and studies my face for a few seconds then leans in and takes me by surprise when he licks over my cheek. “You’ve been crying” It’s not even a question, it’s a statement of facts, how did he know?
“What’s wrong, why were you crying, why didn’t you wake me up?”
I laugh at him and shake my head. “I’m fine. I was just having a moment. And why would I wake you up to watch me cry?”
“I don’t know? It’s my job. If you’re sad then I should be there to cheer you up, not snoring next to you, why were you crying?”
“Gabe, it’s hormones, I was just having a moment, stop worrying, I’m fine, I love you.”
He looks down at me, through those lashes that I’m so jealous of and a small smile starts to pull at the corners of his mouth as he starts to slowly grind his hips into me and I feel his erection pressing right on my clit.
“Good morning baby.” He says into my mouth as he kisses me, he flips me on to my back and slides down my body and kisses my belly.
“And good morning babies. Do you two know how much I love you and how much I love your Mummy? Do you have any idea how lucky you are? Just you wait till you meet her, then you will know, then you will understand, your Mum is so, so special.”
He rains kisses down on my belly as he talks and I run my hands through his bed head hair and swallow back the tears I can feel threatening again. Without warning the bedroom door flies open and Zac and Sam come walking in with a tray each.