I slam my lips shut and regret my decision to go get Mack.
“You know she’s my friend too,” she says.
“Aye. So you should want what’s best for her.”
“Oh please,” she laughs. “Ronan, I’ll give you a week to come clean. That’s all you’re getting.”
“Two,” I bargain.
Mack is quiet again for a moment and then sighs. “You need to tell her how you feel. If you care about her, then she needs to know that. She’s not a mind reader. And the only way she’ll ever decide to stay on her own is if you give her a damn good reason to.”
I mull over her words as I park the car on the street and leave it idling. Conor is standing at the front door, watching over the house.
Before Mack gets out, she twists in her seat to look at me. “Two weeks Ronan. And I want Dunkies delivered every morning.”
“Fine,” I grumble.
“But it has to be decaf,” she adds. “Or else Lach will go nuts. He doesn’t want me drinking so much caffeine these days.”
I nod in concession, but Mack just continues.
“And I want choices. I’m talking lots of donuts, capiche? I don’t want to get bored with the selection.”
I scowl at her and she smiles. And then she pokes me in the chest and skips up the front stairs to the house.
I’m still thinking about her words when Crow texts me and asks me where the hell I am. He’s got a lead on Andrei, and we’re going to follow it up together.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Sasha
When Mack comes trotting into the parlor with a happy expression on her face, it dies off quickly when she sees the expression on mine.
“What’s wrong?” she asks.
I grab her by the arm and yank her down the hall to Ronan’s room.
“Where is he?”
“He had to go to Slainte,” she answers, then pokes around the room in curiosity. “So this is where the Reaper lays his head at night, huh? Go figure. This place has absolutely zero personality.”
“Ronan has plenty of personality,” I snap.
Mack frowns at me and I scrub my hands over my face in frustration. “I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I know it was a joke. I’m just freaking out right now.”
Mack sits down on the bed, her voice calm and her words careful. “And why is that?”
“Because,” I whisper hiss as I point to my stomach. “He put a bun in my oven.”
Mack blinks. And then blinks again. I think she’s in more shock than I am.
“Mack?”
“Right.” She jumps up on her feet and tries to comfort me with an awkward hand pat on the shoulder. “I honestly have no frigging clue what to say, Sash. I had no idea Ronan actually banged you. Damn. That’s so weird. I can’t even imagine…”
“Okay, well please don’t try,” I cut her off. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. He’s going to freak if he finds out. But he deserves to know. But then if I tell him he’s going to keep me trapped here in this life forever.”
Mack sighs and collapses back onto the bed. “And let me guess, you want me to keep my mouth shut too?”
“Obviously.”
“This double agent thing is not all it’s cracked up to be,” she mutters.
“What?”
“Nothing,” she says quickly. “Listen, Sash. I don’t really know what the deal is with you and Ronan. I think I’m still in shock that he actually had sex. I mean the man is like a fucking ice cube. Does he ever warm up?”
“He’s very… intense,” I tell her.
Mack holds up her hands and shakes her head. “Okay never mind, that’s too weird. He’s like a brother to me or something. I can’t think of him that way. So let’s focus on the important thing which is the tiny human growing inside of you and the fact that I have no fucking clue on how to advise you in this situation.”
“That isn’t helpful,” I groan.
“I know,” she says. “I suck at this stuff. Is it wrong that I feel happy? Like giddy. We’re both preggers at the same time. And we’re both with guys that we probably never in a million years thought we’d end up with, but at least we’ll be going through it together.”
I smile at her and shake my head.
“Ronan and I aren’t really together, together.”
“Well, regardless,” she beams. “You’re having his baby.”
Her happiness is contagious. I’ve been so busy freaking out over it that I never really stopped to think about that simple point. My hand moves over my belly and I blink back the tears knowing that Ronan and I created this.
It isn’t wrong. No matter how fucked up this situation is, or how badly I wanted out of this life, this baby could never be wrong. I love it already. In fact, the enormity of my sudden love for something I only just found out existed hits me hard and fast.
“God, Mack, I’m having his baby.”
“You are,” she agrees.
“I love him,” I blurt. “I know it sounds crazy. But I really do. I’ve been in love with him for so long. We are so fucked up together, but I love him.”