Chapter Twenty-One
Sasha
It’s the day before Mack’s wedding, and I’ve spent the entire week packing up the apartment and helping her with wedding things.
It’s not going to be a big event. Mack says she doesn’t see the point in going overboard on everything. That’s just part of the reason why I love the girl. I haven’t spoken to Ronan or Lachlan since the day of Ma’s burial. And that’s honestly the way I prefer it.
So when Lachlan’s name flashes across the caller ID of my phone, I debate on ignoring it. But then I think maybe they need me to help with something else for the wedding, and my guilt gets the better of me. So I answer it.
“Sasha,” Lachlan’s voice filters through the phone. “Are you there?”
“Yes.”
“Look, Kaya twisted her ankle. She’s going to be out for a couple of weeks. I know ye’re leaving on Monday, but we have a special event booked on Sunday and I really can’t do without another dancer.”
“I don’t know.” I bite my lip and glance around the apartment, looking for any excuse to keep me from going back to the club. I don’t want to see Ronan again. I don’t want to get sucked back in, and I’m afraid that’s exactly what will happen if I go.
After a minute of hesitation on my part, Lachlan sighs on the other end of the line. “I know ye have a lot going on right now,” he says. “But I’m getting married tomorrow, and I just need everything to go smoothly.”
“Ugh,” I groan. “You just had to play that card, didn’t you?”
He laughs, and it eases some of the tension between us from our last visit.
“Okay, fine alright,” I agree. “One last shift. That’s it though, I mean it. Come Monday morning, no matter what, I’m out of there.”
“Absolutely,” he says. “Ye’re a lifesaver, Sasha, truly. Mack and I will both be eternally grateful.”
He hangs up the phone and I flop down onto the sofa, staring at the barren apartment. Everything is in boxes now. Ma’s stuff is in storage until Emily and I can go through it and figure out how to divide it up. I’m really only planning on taking the necessities with me, especially since I don’t even know where I’m going. I decided California was off the table after my spat with Em. We both need this time apart to deal with things in our own ways.
I should be checking out places online. Applying for jobs, looking up facts and figures on Google about the best places for lonely ex-strippers to live. But I highly suspect that Google isn’t going to have the answers to those questions. And something is still holding me back.
I grew up in this city. It’s all I’ve ever known. Even with all of its wrongs, the thought of leaving it just doesn’t feel right. When I’ve spent so many years having all of my decisions made for me through circumstance, trying to make them myself is overwhelming and even a little terrifying. This is my one chance to get out. Not to screw up my life anymore. And I’ve only got one shot to get it right. It’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself.
I walk down the hall to finish packing my bedroom when I notice Ronan’s old suit jacket still hanging on the door. Haunting me, the way he always does. And I can’t look at it anymore. I can’t have any of these things in my life, causing me confusion. From now on, I’m only going to move in one direction, and it’s not backwards.
With that thought in mind, I grab the jacket from the door and stomp all the way down the hall and out the front of my apartment building. The first homeless guy I find when I round the corner is the lucky recipient of the jacket and everything it represents.
***
“You can’t tell anyone yet,” Mack whispers. “But I’m totally knocked up.”
“No way.” I glance down at her stomach, but there’s no evidence there yet. She’s glowing in her wedding dress though. I’m emotional again, and I don’t know what to say. So I hug her.
“And married too.” I tell Mack with tears in my eyes. “I can’t believe you really did it.”
“I know,” she agrees. “I’m in it for life now.”