“By?” Crow presses.
I clear my throat and look away. I don’t want to tell him about this. But perhaps it will make him understand.
“I fucked Sasha after.”
His brows raise and he’s holding back a grin. He covers his mouth with his hand to keep from laughing.
“Ye’re kidding me.”
“I wish I was. I took her on the floor next to her dead boyfriend.”
“That’s quite a way to lose your cherry, Fitz.”
My cheeks burn, and I ball my fists up. I feel like he’s laughing at me, and I don’t like it.
“I understand now,” Crow says. “Ye don’t have to say anymore.”
“I had no intentions to.”
“Leave it with me,” he says. “I’ll find the best way to bring it up with Niall. In the meantime, I suggest you start shaking some of Donovan’s trees and see what kind of vermin falls out.”
“I’ll handle it.”
“And, Fitz, I’ll still need to speak with Sasha.”
My eyes snap up to his, and he holds up his hand before I can argue. “I just need to know I can trust her,” he says. “She won’t be harmed. But Ronan, you need to be aware that with this kind of evidence floating around out there and her as a potential witness, ye could do far worse than being killed at the hands of the syndicate. You could be looking at prison.”
“You can trust Sasha,” I tell him.
“We’ll see.”
“If you threaten her…”
Crow narrows his eyes at me and cuts me off.
“What, Ronan? What are you going to do if I threaten her?”
“Don’t,” I warn him. “I fecking mean it. If you even so much as scare her, you’ll have me to contend with.”
The air between us thins as we stare at each other across the desk. Crow and I have never had a problem. But things with Sasha are different. And I need him to understand that she isn’t like anyone else that he can say whatever he wants to. In my mind, she already belongs to me, even if I can never really have her. And I will protect her, no matter the cost.
“I have to admit, Fitz,” he says. “You’ve jacked this whole thing arseways. But if there’s anyone who can understand, it’s me. So out of respect for you, I will not threaten her. But I just hope your loyalties don’t prove to be wrong.”
Chapter Twenty
Sasha
The burial is a small affair. My Ma didn’t want a big production, and I respected her wishes. The flowers and the casket and everything Ronan picked out is perfect. And I have to admit I’m surprised when all of the guys show up in their nicest suits. Even Ronan himself.
“Thank you for coming,” I whisper to Mack as she stands at my side.
“I’ve got your back, Sash. You’re just another fruit in this big fucked up family of ours. And that’s what family does.”
Her words make me smile, even though it feels wrong. I’ve always told myself these guys were never on my side. But she’s right. It is like one big fucked up family. Sometimes it takes being at your lowest point to see who’s really there for you. And they’re all standing right beside me now.
The service is short and done at the burial site. Mack remains beside me the entire time, and when it’s over, she insists I ride with them.
We end up at the diner that Niall’s sister runs. The same one I used to work at. The place where it all began. When Sally sees me, she kisses me and gives me a hug that’s entirely too tight. Despite the family business, I really do think she has a heart of gold.
She feeds us and allows us to sit and drink and talk until the late hours of the evening. And when it’s time to go, Lachlan offers to drive me.
“I’m heading back to the house,” Mack says. “But just call me if you need anything, Sash. Anything at all.”
“Okay.” I nod. “Thank you again, for everything.”
Ronan turns to escort her to his car, and I reach for his arm. “And thank you too.”
He nods and then hesitates. I hope he will say something. Anything.
But he doesn’t.
***
The drive with Lachlan is quiet.
I know he plans to talk to me, so when he follows me up to my apartment, I don’t argue. I set down my keys and bag and then gesture to the kitchen.
“Would you like a drink?”
“No, Sasha,” he says. “Thank you. Why don’t ye just have a seat so we can chat for a few moments.”
I nod and take a seat, wringing my hands together. I know Lachlan fairly well. I’ve never known him to be hot-headed or unreasonable, but I also know he will squash anything he perceives as a threat without batting an eye. He does it for his brothers. For the syndicate. And with the obvious tension in his shoulders and voice, I can’t help but thinking he views me as a threat somehow too. He clears his throat, and I look up at him.
“I understand why ye want to leave,” he says. “But I’m sure you can understand there are a few things we need to go over first.”
“Of course.” I give him a shaky smile.