“After me? We’re talking three years ago, and I had no idea? How is that possible?”
“Because I’m good at my job, Nina. I had to be.” Jared tensed as he continued, “I’d hoped your father would be honest with you—although at the time I wasn’t sure why—but it only made Jack even more determined to keep you from the truth. He didn’t want you to live in fear, and I couldn’t argue with that logic.”
“What made you change your mind?”
Jared’s hands locked together on top of the table. “The first time you were targeted, I took a bullet to the shoulder. The training made it automatic for me to stop that bullet, Nina; but in that one instant, my eyes were opened. The moment I saw Tipton’s finger press against the trigger I wasn’t protecting you because I had to. For the first time, I realized that I could lose you.”
“You were almost killed?” I gasped. I imagined him bleeding from a bullet wound while I went on with my life, oblivious. My heart faltered.
Jared crossed his arms on the table and smiled. “Not even close.”
“So these feelings you have for me…you had them before I ever knew you existed,” I said, more of a statement than a question.
Jared grimaced, incensed at my choice of words.
“Nina,” he shook his head. I had obviously offended him somehow. “I was in love with you before you ever knew I existed. It was very difficult to be around you for hours on end and not be able to comfort you, or touch you…even speak to you. I wasn’t allowed to let you see me, but it was my job to watch your every move. That included standing by while people lied to you, betrayed you, caused you pain.
“Jack reminded me constantly that it had to be that way. He could see that every day it grew harder for me to be non-existent…to be invisible to the woman I loved.” His eyes were unfocused, mulling over the memories that troubled him.
Jared had now said it twice: He was in love with me.
“You can’t imagine the rage I felt seeing some sleaze that didn’t appreciate you take you to dinner, take you for granted, kiss you…make you cry. It was my duty to protect you and I wasn’t allowed to protect you from that; although, I would have gladly murdered Howard without a second thought the night of your sixteenth birthday.”
Adrenaline rushed through my veins, and my mind burned through the memories of that night. Stacy Howard was my first and only boyfriend. He personified the stereotypical supercilious rich boy, complete with rebellious nature and bad attitude. The longer I put-off a physical relationship with him, the more acerbic he became. It didn’t take long for me to grow tired of him, but just when I’d decided to end things, Cynthia insisted on it first. Playing the part of the stubborn fifteen year-old daughter to perfection, I grudgingly stayed with him just long enough to show my mother that I would make my own choices.
We had been together for just over a year when he’d chosen my party to break it to me that he was in love with Emma Noble, my then-best friend. His plans were unnecessary when I caught them having sex in the pool house before he had a chance to tell me. I was so relieved I barely noticed.
“You’re referring to Stacy,” my eyes narrowed.
Jared nodded with an angry expression on his face.
“You knew about that?” I wailed.
Jared shook his head and closed his eyes. “From the moment it began. It was hell watching him go back and forth, not being able to tell you… or kill him. He was just a kid, and I wanted to end his life…so many times,” he whispered in a low, intimidating tone.
I buried my face in my hands. Fire exploded across my face and ears. It was worse than anything I could have possibly imagined. Jared hadn’t just been hired to protect me since my father had passed away; he’d observed my awkward tween years, my humiliations, and every one of my embarrassing failures.
The degradation was unbearable. I sprang from my seat and headed for the door, but before my first step, I heard Jared’s chair grate against the floor. In the next moment he gently grabbed me from behind, wrapping his arms around my waist.
“I know this is humiliating for you,” he spoke quietly in my ear. “I wanted to tell you, I begged Jack to let me expose that cheating little maggot so many times, but he wouldn’t let us interfere unless it was absolutely necessary. Doing that to you on your birthday,” he said, fuming, “it was the breaking point for me. That night was the first time I’d fought Jack on anything.”
I flipped around and pushed away from him. “I’m not humiliated about Stacy! That was years ago! I’m humiliated because of this!” I said, gesturing to the space between us. “When you meet someone new, that’s the way it’s supposed to be! New! You know all of my bad habits…you’ve seen me do God knows what. You’re only supposed to know the best parts about me in the beginning!”