I breathed heavily into the desk as my hair fanned around my face, causing sweat to form on my forehead. I was hot and dazed as he finally let my hands go and pulled away from me. The thought of lifting myself up from the desk to cover myself crossed my mind, but I couldn’t move. My body felt like Jell-O, well-fucked Jell-O, and I didn’t want to move just yet.
Then I felt his hand between my legs with a tissue, causing me to jump. Pulling myself up on my elbows, I turned my head to look at him. His eyes were focused between my legs but moved to look at me. I frowned as I realized what he was doing and panic began to set in. It didn’t even occur to me that he wasn’t wearing a condom. And since I was thinking about it, I remembered it dripping out of me the night at his place, too. How did I not realize?
I pushed up from the desk and knocked him out of the way, noticing his pants were already on and buttoned. I reached for my underwear and jeans and quickly slipped them on.
I turned to look at Mason who was leaning against his desk, arms folded over his chest with an amused look on his face.
“What do you think is so funny? Why the hell didn’t you wear a condom?” I yelled, flailing my hands up, freaking out.
He walked toward me in confident strides and lifted his hands to rest on my shoulders.
“Calm down, Emma. You have nothing to worry about.” He said it so calmly.
“I have nothing to worry about? Are you daft? Do you think I want to get pregnant? What the hell were you thinking?” I questioned in pure panic mode.
“Emma, I said calm down. I had a vasectomy a long time ago, so I can’t have kids. And I can assure you I’m clean.”
I looked at him bewildered. “Well…” I didn’t know what to say. “How do you know if I’m clean?”
He chuckled. “You don’t seem like the kind of woman to sleep around.”
“That’s not the point. How often do you have sex without protection? You could catch anything at any time and not know it between your check-ups. Come on, even a smart man like you should know that.” I was going to have to get checked. I knew I needed to anyway after what had happened with Tim. There was no telling what that slut had.
“You’re right. Next time, I’ll wear a condom.
I looked at him with a raised brow. “Next time?”
He caressed my cheek with his fingers. “I can promise you there will be a next time, Emma.”
I nodded in agreement, knowing I wanted there to be a next time and looked down to the floor, feeling a flush creep up onto my face.
“Nobody can know about this, Emma,” he stated as he lifted my chin to look at him.
I nodded again and stared at him as questions flowed through my mind, not voicing any of them.
What is this? Are we exclusive now? Do I get to have a say in anything we do? What is his deal with control? Are we dating?
The moment felt surreal, like at any second I’d wake up from a dream. If I were to speak, reality would set in and I didn’t want that. I wanted to live in the fantasyland, if only for a little while.
“You should go,” he said as he dropped his hand from under my chin. “I have things I need to do before I’m able to leave.” He turned around and looked at the mess lying next to his desk then back to me.
I still felt unsure, but I guessed that was what I got for putting myself in a situation I didn’t know how to handle.
I walked toward the door and picked up the bag I’d dropped to the floor. I turned back to see him picking up his laptop and papers, not knowing whether I should say anything. What do you say after being fucked on your professor’s desk?
I turned with a frown and unlocked the door before walking out into the hallway. I was confused as to what would happen from that point. He didn’t even have my number. How would the relationship work?
Whoa, not a relationship.
This was not the kind of thing I was expecting when I’d thought about starting law school. I’d been in a steady relationship. I was happy. I had things mapped out. Now, I was single with no home, happy yet confused, and completely unfocused.
He was right. He was bad for me. I had no idea what I was doing. Did I really want to be someone’s fuck-buddy? I didn’t understand why I had such a strong connection to him. It made me feel off-balance, and I wasn’t sure I could continue with the way things were going. Yes, he was a great lover, but I knew I wanted more than that. I wanted to be romanced, and I wasn’t sure he was the guy who would give it to me.
Chapter 19
Mason – Seventeen years old
My days were long and hard, but I was doing everything I could to keep my grades up so I’d be accepted to NYU. I wanted to get into the best possible program so I could eventually do something about John. I wasn’t sure what I’d do, but I’d figure it out as I went. I had to focus on Sophia for the time being.
She wasn’t as scared as she was when she’d first gotten there. Since she wasn’t being drugged every day, I think she’d come to accept her fate. I didn’t want that for her, but the thoughts of getting her out were pretty much illusive.