What a fucking asshole.
I walked out of the condo an embarrassed mess. How do these things happen to me? After everything that happened with Tim, that was the last thing I needed. Maybe there was something wrong with me. Maybe I wasn’t as appealing. My feelings were beyond hurt, but I knew I’d have to get over it. I couldn’t dwell on it. I should have gone with my gut and ignored his forwardness. I couldn’t let this affect me.
I sighed as I made my way out of the building.
Now I’ll have to see him every week and try not to relive the embarrassment of being left almost fully naked on his bed.
But I guess that’s what I get for trying to do something completely out of my character.
Chapter 13
Mason
Lifting the tumbler to my lips, I stared down at my phone. No matter what I did, I could never get rid of my past; it would always be there to haunt me and ask for more.
Closing my eyes, I took a long sip of whiskey, enjoying the burn as it went down. Images of Emma ran through my mind as I rested my head back against the brown leather chair. She’d looked so beautiful lying there on the bed.
I sighed and stared at the red wall in my study.
I’d driven straight home after I’d left the condo. It definitely wasn’t how I’d expected the night to go. But I knew, as soon as she reached her arms over her head, it wasn’t going to work. She was so fucking beautiful. I was drawn to her more than any other woman I’d ever been with, and it scared the fuck out of me. I vowed to myself never to get too close to another woman.
I panicked. I couldn’t stay, so I’d left her there. I knew it was an asshole move. I should have just kicked her out, made her dress and leave, but I didn’t have the nerve to do it.
I shouldn’t have even cared, but I did. All the emotions I had buried deep inside for so long had come to the surface.
I took another swig of the whiskey in hopes to drown them out.
Out of all the fucking women in New York, I had to come across the one woman who made me feel.
Anger flowed through me. I can’t fucking deal with this.
Tilting my head back, I downed the rest of the whiskey and hurled the glass across the room, watching it shatter against the wall.
The feelings of guilt and emptiness made their way through my veins and I balled my hands into fists, embedding my short nails into my palms.
Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly and headed to the weight room. The anger had built in my system and there was only one image front and center in my mind.
John Cline.
Shrugging my jacket off, I threw it into the corner of the room then tore my dress shirt from my body. I needed to work the anger out. Exertion was always my first attempt, and I needed it. I fucking needed it to work.
Stepping over to my bag, I danced around it, hopping from foot to foot. I started out with slow steady jabs. Then I picked up my pace, building my momentum.
Left, right, left, left, right.
The bag swayed with every forceful punch.
Out of all these years, I had only wished my life was different a hand full of times. After I’d finally accepted something was the way it was and nothing could change it, I gave up on false wishes. But there were times it triggered that hope again, that I could be someone different, that I could have had a normal childhood. But those things weren’t in the cards for me. My life was fucked-up, and I had my vices as my way of dealing with it.
I punched the bag until my knuckles cracked and I couldn’t take it any longer. Then I punched it some more.
Sweat poured down my face and into my eyes, but I kept going. I’d forgotten to turn my music on when I entered the room, so my mind wouldn’t shut up. Flashes of Emma lying on the bed entered my mind and I wondered how long she’d laid there until she’d realized I was gone.
Grabbing onto the bag, I leaned my head forward and closed my eyes. The need to have her didn’t go away, it only intensified. I shouldn’t have left. I should have done what I’d planned on doing to get her out of my system, but I fucked it up.
I had to try again or the need would never go away. She was worried about me being her professor, but if I didn’t get her out of my system, I wouldn’t be able to look at her every day without craving her. It would consume me.
When it came to women, I always got what I wanted. But she didn’t seem like the kind of woman to give in easily. I’d left her there and she probably hated me. I would have to convince her. Persuade her to give me another chance. I needed the challenge.
Chapter 14
Mason – Seventeen years old