“You can’t or won’t?”
I closed my eyes for a moment to figure out what the hell I was going to do. My mind kept jumping back and forth. My whole life had been about protecting those close to me. Protecting them like I was unable to protect my mother. I’d spent so much time trying to make up for the mistakes I’d made and the damage it caused. Didn’t I deserve the slightest bit of happiness? I’d told myself no. No one needed to get close to me. It wasn’t just about the scars, although that was one of the main reasons. I knew deep down there was something wrong with me, something I never wanted to admit. I couldn’t share that burden with anyone else, but I didn’t want myself to be deprived.
When I opened my eyes, she was standing in front of me, and I did the one thing I knew felt right. She was the one who filled the darkness when I closed my eyes, the one who awoke me from a long slumber. I’d had a taste and it was something I wanted to savor.
I pulled her close until she was straddling my torso, being sure not to groan as she put weight on my thigh. Then I grabbed the back of her neck and brought her even closer, pressing my lips onto hers. She wasted no time bringing her hands up to cup my face as the kiss deepened. Our tongues danced along one another’s, and we both moaned into each other’s mouths.
The over-powering lust I usually felt with her came rushing forward. Nothing felt as good as her skin touching mine. And if I let it happen, she’d become my new addiction.
She moved her hands up from my face to slide them through my hair. And I lifted the back of her shirt and unsnapped her bra.
I pulled her shirt up over her head, breaking our kiss, and let her bra fall from her shoulders before I leaned forward to suck a nipple into my mouth. She moaned and rocked softly against my cock, and it took everything I had not to groan. Every thrust of her hips against my dick pulled at the stitches, causing a continuous sensation of pain and pleasure. The feeling was something I was all too familiar with, and it made me want to lose control.
I grabbed her ass with both hands and pushed her down on my dick. “Fuck, Emma. I can never get too much of you.”
“I feel the same way,” she breathed as she brought her lips down to mine in another searing kiss. She fucked my mouth with her tongue and rocked her hips in the same rhythm, putting me over the edge. If I didn’t do something quick, I was going to come in my pants.
I cupped her breasts and pinched her nipples, causing a moan to escape her lips. I took advantage of the separation of our lips to reacquaint my mouth with her nipples as I rocked my cock against her.
“You drive me crazy,” I stated as I kissed up to her neck.
Her nails dug into my skin as I bit down on her soft flesh. Then she pulled away from me, and I looked up into her serious eyes as she lightly tugged the hair at the back of my neck.
“Don’t fuck with me, Mason.”
I knew exactly what she was referring to. She knew as well as I did what I would have eventually ended up doing.
“You think you’re the only one who’s scared, but you’re wrong. I have a lot to lose, too,” she admitted. “But I’m here because I feel it and I can’t deny it. Don’t push me away.”
I furrowed my brow and bowed my head, resting it on her chest, absorbing the way she smelled.
She was right. I was scared. I was scared of so many things. Of what the future would bring, mainly. I’d always known what to expect out of my life; she was the unexpected. My world had taken one turn after another, and I felt lost. The control over my life had been stripped away, but I hadn’t had control over anything. It was all an illusion. I couldn’t deny myself the one true thing that had been presented to me after all these years. But that nagging in the back of my mind was still there.
It was my constant, my security blanket, and I didn’t know how to get rid of it.
I pulled back and looked into her eyes, surrendering to the power they had over me.
“I won’t,” I finally said.
She smiled down at me and softly brushed her lips against mine, showing me exactly how she felt. I wrapped my arms around her, running my fingertips up and down her back until they finally rested on the waistband of her jeans.
“These need to go,” I informed her, breaking the kiss.
She moved back and bit her lip with a smile as she slowly maneuvered herself off me.
I watched her hands as they gradually unbuttoned her jeans then pulled the zipper down nice and slow. Her eyes were focused on mine when I looked up to meet her half-lidded gaze.
She was so fucking sexy.
She slowly pulled her pants down, bringing them down to mid-thigh then letting them fall the rest of the way before stepping out of them.
Her red thong left little to the imagination, but I didn’t need it. I knew how sweet that pussy was.