She would always be the reason. She had been the one thing that set everything in motion. I hated him for taking all my choices away, for stealing my childhood, for making me hate myself, for destroying any kind of life I could’ve had. Nothing in my life would ever be normal. I was damaged, scarred, broken. But I'd be damned if I let anyone see it, especially these assholes.
I wanted to pull away from Donicko, run out to the car and demand to be taken home, but I couldn't. Whatever they were doing was bound to be another test. A test I wouldn't fail because I wouldn't be involved in it, no matter how hard they pushed me into doing it. I might’ve been John's puppet in his business life, but I'd be damned if Donicko thought he could do the same thing.
We arrived on the second level to a huge open space with a balcony which looked down to the first floor. Those who had gathered parted, letting us walk through, all of them staring at me which I tried to ignore.
I couldn't deny the twisting feeling in my gut that something was going to happen I wouldn’t like, yet again. I kept my eyes forward and followed along, keeping my head up as if I were better than them. Deep down, I knew I was.
Donicko had dropped his arm from around my shoulder when we walked up the stairs, but placed a hand on the one closest to him as soon as we made it to the closed, white door at the other end of the space.
Donicko turned toward the crowd and whistled with his fingers to get everyone’s attention.
"Ten minutes, gentlemen. Then you shall make your bids."
I felt the sweat accumulating on my forehead as I squeezed my hands into fists. I knew what these words meant. I didn't have to go through those doors. I clenched my teeth as I tried to keep myself together. I would not lose it in front of all these people.
I closed my eyes for a brief moment and asked God for strength. I'd never been a religious type of guy, but something was better than nothing at that point. I needed guidance, but I feared I was too lost for any chance of hope.
John opened the door and Donicko ushered me through. What I walked into was a nightmare times a thousand. The entire wing, which should’ve all been separate bedrooms, was see-through Plexiglas with a door to walk through. But that wasn't the part that had my heart pounding out of my chest and my eyes bulging from my head. Each room contained a girl and each girl was tied to the bed, writhing in a mix of pleasure and pain, naked and blindfolded. Exactly how Sophia had been presented to me two years prior.
I looked around, in every room, furious at what was being presented to me.
"What the fuck is this?" I asked through clenched teeth, unable to contain my disgust.
John walked around, peering into every room as I stood there, staring down Donicko.
He chuckled. "You know exactly what this is, boy. Where do you think all those girls went when you did your drop-off, eh?"
I looked down, breaking eye contact and thinking about what he'd just asked me. Where did I think they went? I shook my head, answering myself. I didn't think about it. I didn't want to know. It made everything too real. It made the monster inside me real. I was doing it for Sophia because it was the only option I'd had, and he was standing there mocking me.
"You're a sick bastard, you know that? Both of you are."
John looked at me then to Donicko and they both laughed. "It's in your blood, boy. The quicker you accept it, the better off you'll be."
I shook my head, furious at his words, and did my best not to hear the moans coming out of the speakers John had just turned on.
"You think you're on top, Donicko, but one day, your pedestal will crumble to the ground. And nobody will be there to build you back up."
He walked the few feet toward me, and a smarter man would have cowered away with the look displayed on his face. He wasn't the kind of man you threatened and yet I did it so easily, without a thought for my own well-being.
Placing a hand on my shoulder, he squeezed it to the point of pain, but I didn't move or show any kind of emotion. He leaned in to me and spoke beside my ear.
"You may think you can one-up me, Mason, but just remember, I'll be one step ahead of you at all times. My pedestal is made of steel, and I won't be knocked down anytime soon."
He pulled back from me and I looked into his cold, heartless eyes with hatred. The cool demeanor he presented to everyone had been knocked down for a mere second, but I saw it. He wasn’t as hard as he’d like everyone to believe.
He and John were a lot alike. They put fear in others to get what they wanted. I’d already found myself victim to their game, but never again. I wouldn’t allow it.
Taking a step back, I looked to John, who had his eyes trained on one of Donicko’s many victims, then back to the man himself.
“I don’t know why you insist on trying to get me to partake in this illegal bullshit. You’re both kidnappers and murderers. I’m nothing like you, and I never will be.”
Donicko laughed. “Who said anything about murder? We’re not murderers, boy. Far from it.”
I scoffed. “You and I both know what will eventually happen to them. You might as well just shoot them now.”
Donicko offered that evil smile he’d mastered so well.