I shook my head. “I don’t always have control over it,” I confessed.
A big part of me wanted to jump up from the couch and storm off. I shouldn’t have been telling her all of this because I knew deep down it made me sound weak. I was never in control when it came to cutting—my past was. It was the reason I started. Maybe it was my way of never forgetting Sophia or to never let anyone play me again. Or maybe I was just sick in the head and needed help. Either way, it was an addiction.
My addiction.
Leaning in to me, Emma kept her gaze on mine until our lips met. I grabbed her and tried to deepen the kiss but she pulled away. “Come to me, Mason,” she said before kissing me briefly again. “Let me be your distraction.”
I looked into her eyes, our noses almost touching as the words left her beautiful lips. I wanted to tell her what a bad idea that was, but I was stopped by the knock that came from the door.
Carlos had the worst timing.
I leaned forward, giving her another deep kiss before I pulled away from her and stood, not acknowledging her statement. I didn’t want to use her, although it was very tempting.
“Carlos is here to take you home.”
She smiled up at me and stood, running her hands up my chest until they rested upon my shoulders.
“Thank you for a wonderful evening, Mason.”
She kissed my cheek and turned away, heading for the door. I watched her until she disappeared around the corner, waiting until I heard the door open and close before I finally took a seat.
I grabbed her glass of scotch and tilted the whole thing back, closing my eyes as the burn made its way down.
I played back the night’s events in my head and decided it could have been much worse. It wasn’t exactly how I’d picture a first date to go, not that I’d had much experience, but it was definitely something I’d remember often.
Emma had no idea the effect she had on me. Just her words alone, telling me to use her as a distraction, had me ready to take her right there on the couch. She was too good for me, but I didn’t have it in me to let her go. I’d tried to convince myself that she’d be better off with someone better, but it never worked. She was mine, and I didn’t plan on letting her go any time soon.
Sixteen
Emmalynn
I woke up the next morning, replayed everything that had happened the night before and smiled as I recalled Mason taking me against the wall. The way he commanded my body was like he’d been doing it for years, and I couldn’t wait for him to do it again.
It was one of the things I expected, but what I didn’t expect was for someone to interrupt our evening. I felt bad for going against Mason’s trust, but once I heard him yell, my curiosity got the best of me and I peeked my head around the door of the office.
It was stupid, really. I could have been caught and I didn’t have an excuse to be eavesdropping by the front door, but I walked toward it anyway. What I heard had my mouth hanging open.
I’d met Rachel at the fundraiser and wondered why she was giving me the looks she’d had, but now I knew. She’d been sleeping with Mason and thought I was the competition.
The whole thing gave me weird vibes, and I immediately began to build up a wall. I nearly listened to the entire conversation. I was so wrapped in the drama I’d almost forgotten I could be caught at any second, but that was okay because I’d heard enough. What man slept with his father’s fiancé? Then to find out that Donicko slept with her, too? What was this world coming to? Did anybody have respect? Apparently not.
I’d gone back to the office, grabbing a book before I sat down, and waited for him to come in the room.
I could tell he’d noticed my change of mood, and I played along with his attempt to get me to brighten. I wasn’t sure if he knew I’d eavesdropped or not, but I definitely wasn’t going to bring it up.
When he’d told me I could ask him anything I wanted and he’d answer me honestly, I figured what the hell. I might as well ask him the burning question that had been nagging me since that night I’d found him in his bathroom. Either, he’d answered me honestly like he’d said or I’d know not to trust him. After everything that had happened with Tim, I didn’t want to be a pushover; I wouldn’t allow myself. I needed to know this information. I mean, he didn’t seem to be unstable, but if he was, it was probably best that I didn’t try to date him. There was no telling what could possibly happen.