“Oh, Chase.” My voice broke. “That was not at all how I meant that.”
“I know that. I figured it out. I saw your tweets about the game last time…when I screwed up…and…you defended me. Over and over.” Now his voice cracked, and I felt the emotion welling up inside him. “I just…it just wrecked me.”
I was shaking everywhere now, inside, outside, both hot and cold, my chest tight. “Chase. I love you.”
I closed my eyes. I probably shouldn’t have said that. I still wasn’t sure why he was here exactly. Hope was unfurling inside me, along with the pain of hearing about his childhood, but I didn’t know if he felt the same.
It didn’t matter. I pulled in a long breath through my nose and straightened my shoulders. It didn’t matter, because he deserved to know he was loved.
“I love you,” I said again, this time more firmly. “I will always defend you.”
“Christ, Jordyn.” He vibrated with tension. “I was a dick to you. And I screwed up that game and lost it for the team. You should hate me.”
I lowered my eyes. My heart crashed against my ribs. “I don’t hate you. That’s not what love is…hating you when you screw up or act like a dick. You don’t have to earn my love. I love you for who you are…not what you do.”
He made a rough noise, a painful noise, and I lifted my gaze to his face. Anguish tightened his features, which hurt me deep down inside. “I love you too, Jordyn. I didn’t know what that was…what that meant…until I saw your Tweets and understood. And I remembered you getting shit from your friends for being all up in their business, and how hurt you’d been by that because you only did it because you cared about them. And it all came piling down on me, realizing what I’d lost when I walked out of your place that night, how much I’d fucked things up because I was so goddamn stupid and scared.”
“You kept saying you weren’t scared.” I squeezed his thigh. “What were you scared of?”
He tipped his head back, his face tightened into stark lines. “I was scared to have the surgery because…because what if they fix my wrist, but I still play like crap?” He swallowed. “If I don’t have hockey…who would care about me? The team only wants me if I can play well. My parents would be pissed. Fans would disappear. And…I was afraid…so would you.”
Pain washed through me. The moment pulled out long and taut as I stared at him. That was what he was really afraid of? Oh my God.
I pulled my hand out of his and crawled onto his lap, sliding my arms around his neck, pressing my cheek against his. “No. God, no. I already told you—I love you no matter what.”
“I know,” he choked out. “You showed me that.”
“And you won’t play like crap. You won’t. You’re so talented, and you work so hard. You’re determined and persistent. You’re going to be fine. Better than ever.”
“Only if you’re with me. You make me better.”
“No, I don’t.” I laid my palm on his cheek and looked into his eyes. “You do that. You may not realize it, but you need to. You need to know how strong you are. How good you are. I love you, Chase.”
“Fuck.” His arms crushed me to him, and he closed his eyes.
“I love how generous and thoughtful you are. On our first date…and our second date…and our third date, which was epic. Even our date where you took me to the hospital and you were so kind to those boys. I think that’s when I knew I was falling hard for you.”
His chest heaved. “Okay, it’s not you that makes me better…it’s loving you. It’s caring more about someone else than myself. Wanting to take care of you and be there for you. Hurting because you couldn’t sing when it’s what you love so much.”
“Oh.” I choked on a sob. “That’s how I feel too…it hurts me that you’re hurting. I want so much for you, Chase. I hated that you were getting depressed, that you weren’t enjoying hockey anymore, when it’s what you love. That was why I pushed you. I’m sorry, I know I made you mad, but—”
“Don’t apologize.” His voice was rough, and his hand came up to cup the back of my head. “Don’t apologize for caring. God. I feel like I don’t deserve you.”
“We deserve each other. Neither of us is perfect. But together we’re pretty damn close.”
He made a rough noise of amusement. “Yeah. That’s true. I didn’t know what to do with someone who cared about me unconditionally. I’m sorry I didn’t understand. I didn’t understand the gift that kind of love is. Shit. I’m getting all mushy.”
I smiled and shifted so I could kiss his mouth. “Can’t have that, tough guy.”
He held my face in both hands and kissed me back, a long, heartfelt kiss of acceptance and gratitude. He kissed me again, licking inside my mouth, and the kiss went hotter, liquid heat building between my legs.
“Chase. I missed you so much.”
“Me too, baby. So damn much. Missed talking to you. Laughing with you. Missed your music and your mess and your arms around me. Missed being inside your sweet, tight pussy.”
“Oh.” My insides did a flip-flop. “I missed that too. I want you inside me.”
“Show me your bedroom.”
Dizzy and aching, I rose to my feet. He stood too, clasping my hand, and I led him down the hall to my bedroom.
Chapter 23
Chase
The lamp on the nightstand was on, and we paused next to the unmade bed.
I surveyed the tangled duvet, amused. “Guess I should have known your bed wouldn’t be made.”
“You still love me though.”
“I do.” My eyes fell on the stuffed rabbit sitting on the dresser. “Is that Cinnabunny?”
She sank her teeth into her bottom lip and looked up at me through her eyelashes. “Yes.”
“I wouldn’t care if you still slept with a stuffed bunny.”
“I-I don’t. But thank you.”
“Let’s get you out of this top. It’s been making me crazy since I walked in here.”
It was a simple ribbed cotton tank top, but it was tight and her bra was thin and I’d been distracted by her sweet tits and hard nipples from the minute she’d opened the door. I attempted to whisk it over her head, but dammit, my cast bashed her in the side of the head.
“Ouch!”
“Sorry, sorry.” I touched her hair. Fuck. “You okay? God, I’m sorry.”
“I’m fine.” She touched my cast gently. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” I was fine—except I was going to die if I didn’t get inside her, like, now.
“Let me do this.” Stepping back from me, she got rid of the tank top and the bra and I let myself stare at her gorgeous breasts as she shimmied out of the loose yoga pants. Then she took care of me, carefully easing my T-shirt up and off, opening my jeans and pushing them down along with my boxers. My dick jumped eagerly toward her, throbbing.
“Get on the bed.”
I lifted my eyebrows but did as she ordered, shoving her duvet aside and stretching out on my back. Her sheets were super soft and smelled like her…amazing.
Once again, she straddled me, leaning over me to kiss me, long and slow and sweet. Emotion swelled in my chest, along with my dick. She wriggled against me and murmured into my lips, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I choked out. “I’m good. I mean, I’m hurting…you know where.”
She laughed softly and kissed me again. “Hmm.” She trailed kisses over my cheek, the side of my neck, nibbling with her soft lips, making me shiver, then kissed her way down my chest.
“Keep going.” I palmed the back of her head. “You’re getting closer.”
“Hey, I’m in charge this time.” She licked and then lightly sucked one of my nipples.
“Christ.” Sensation zapped straight to my balls.