“I already know,” I whisper, and he turns toward me, crossing his arms across his chest. His eyebrow arches and he waits for me to explain. I smile, pulling out the engagement ring. “I think it’s sweet. I know this isn’t the way you probably wanted this to go, but that’s okay. I’m fine with this.”
A heavy sigh falls from his lips and he runs his hands through his hair. “Jules, I was having panic attacks here! I thought you would be so pissed! We both knew this wasn’t going anywhere, right? I mean, we met as I was leaving a strip club with my buddies.” He heads for the bedroom and I follow after him, all kinds of confused.
“Wait, what are you talking about?” I pause. “You said you were only at the strip club for your friend’s bachelor party.”
He gives me such a strong you-are-freaking-stupid look and I sigh. I am freaking stupid. Of course he wasn’t at a bachelor party.
“I’m leaving, sweets.” He rubs his chin and shoots his chocolate eyes my way. The same eyes that made me fall head over heels for him in the first place. The same eyes I got lost in every day for the past seven months. The same eyes that I gave a key to my apartment!
“I beg your pardon?” I say. Richard really has to work on his comedic timing, because this isn’t funny.
He sits on the edge of the bed and he gives me a halfway grin that pisses me off. “I just feel like I’m at the age where I’m ready to settle down, you know? And yesterday Hanna and I were talking about kids, and I think I’m ready for that next step.”
Hanna?
He pushes himself off of the bed and walks over to me. “I was freaking out when I realized I lost the ring, but I can always count on you.” He slugs me in the arm. No lie—he actually slugs me in the arm!
“What the hell are you talking about, Richard?!”
“I’m asking my girlfriend of four years to marry me.”
A flood of witty remarks from my mom start flying through my head. The disappointment in Grandma’s face at her still single granddaughter, with no babies, paints pictures in my mind. Dad…he’s going to get drunk and laugh at me. Come to think of it, Grandma’s going to get drunk and laugh at me, too. And then there will be Lisa and Danny, holding each other, kissing each other…
“NO!” I hiss, rubbing my hands across my face, my blood boiling. I see Richard pick up his luggage and move toward the door. I block his only way out. “No, Richard!” His eyes fall on me, confused by my anger. Fuck him! He just ruined my life.
“Jules, baby…” he whispers, trying to edge his way around me.
I grip the sides of the door frame, shaking with such serious amounts of frustration. “You are not ditching me twenty minutes before we hit the road to meet my family.”
No. No! This isn’t happening. I reserved an extra plate for the table at the cabin for my boyfriend! I bought two hundred dollars worth of video games for my boyfriend! I spent over six hundred dollars on a new video game system for my boyfriend! God dammit I earned the right to tie this asshole up, drag the son-of-a-bitch outside, and toss him into my car trunk next to my unopened Pilates DVDs while playing loud Christmas carols and driving in absurd amounts of snowfall.
“Jules, sweets…you’re a little scary right now. There’s like some weird wrinkles in your forehead.” Richard frowns at my appearance, and I can’t blame him. If I look as crazed as I feel, he should really rethink leaving.
“Listen, Richard. I am freaking out. I have pimples in places where pimples should never be. I am going home after three years of avoiding that fucking cabin. I’m pissy, I’m stressed, and I am not the person you want to cross right now. I get it. You’re a liar. You’re a cheater. You’re a bad lay. But right now? Right now, I don’t give a damn. You are getting in that car—now! I’m not kidding, you little shit. I.Will.Cut.A.Bitch.” I growl at him, watching his eyes fill with fear.
“Uh, just to be clear... The bitch in this situation…?” he questions.
“You. You’re the bitch, Richard.”I warn him with a look filled with death. He’s so lucky I don’t have superpowers, because he would be dead in an alley somewhere.
Swinging his way under my arms, he squeezes through. “I’m sorry, Jules. I really am. But I’m gonna give you some time to calm your nerves. Then I’ll pick up the rest of my stuff.”
Slam.
He’s gone. He’s gone and I am past due for a mental meltdown. Oh my gosh, how can I do it? How can I go back to that cabin to see my sister, my one true love, and their love child together?
So…ugly crying has been happening for the past twenty minutes, Hall and Oates She’s Gone is on repeat, and the gut-wrenching realization that I set myself up for yet another disappointing relationship is slowly sinking into my spirit. What’s wrong with me? Why do I fall for the ones who will never dive in for me?