“Jules?” Twisting my neck in his direction, I wait for him to continue his thought. “I meant what happens next with this family trip.”
“Oh…” Just when I think I cannot embarrass myself any further, I one-up myself. No need to buy blush anymore. These red cheeks come with the territory. “Well, tomorrow for the girls there’s cookie making and hot cocoa—I bring Bailey’s to slip into mine. And for the guys, you go cut down the best trees—yes trees, as in more than one—and then each couple decorates one. The best tree wins a trophy, because clearly, what’s a Stone’ family get-together without awards?”
“Sounds nice.”
“It was.” I remember all of the fun years I had with Danny, doing all of those Christmas activities together. Then I think about how different it will be this year, watching him perform those tasks with my sister. But I have Kayden this year; I’ll do my best to make believe with him. “It will be nice.”
“Jules?” Kayden’s voice comes out as a question, just as it did before I embarrassed myself with my overactive imagination of a world with him in it.
“Yes?”
“I love to dance, too. The older music, the better the music. Boys II Men, Hall and Oates, Temptations.”
My hands fly over my heart, because I’m sure it’s about to zoom out of my chest. “Stop, stop! You had me at Hall and Oates. When Lisa and I were kids, we stayed at this cabin with my grandma whenever Mom and Dad were filming. Grandma would always take us girls to old record stores, and of course I bought Hall and Oates’s second album. I would play it over and over again. It’s perfection. So…okay. Favorite song at the count of three. Don’t think about it, just say. Ready?”
“Ready.”
“One…two…three…”
“She’s Gone!” we both holler, and I toss my hands up with excitement after hearing his reply. “Kayden Reece, I hate to say it, but…I think we just became best friends.”
“This is the fastest moving, all-over-the-place relationship I’ve ever had. First we are madly in love, and now we are best-friends status. All within ten hours.”
“There’s only one life to live. Might as well live it up!”
A silence fills the room and the darkness of the room overtakes me, bringing on a new wave of sleepy thoughts. I close my eyes, thinking that Kayden is on his way to dream, too. Until, of course, I hear him humming the tune of She’s Gone to himself. Then the lyrics follow. His voice is smooth and rich—in every note is a new found lust I have for this ‘co-star’ of mine. I can’t help but join in at the chorus of the song, singing the high parts as he takes on the low in perfect pitch.
My cheeks are so sore from smiling so big for so long, and I catch a mad case of the giggles as his voice goes deeper and deeper. I never knew I could love Hall and Oates so much more.
When the sounds of our voices fade out and the stillness of the air summons us to complete silence, I relax against the mattress. I hug my pillow and curve my body away from Kayden after watching his eyes shut. Before I close my eyes, I realize a new personal truth.
Someday I’ll be fine. Maybe not right here and now, but someday I will be able to look at Danny and not think about all the what-ifs. Someday I won’t feel like the outcast in a world full of lovers. Someday I’ll wake up in a bed, by myself, and be perfectly content with my life.
Yup. Someday I’ll be fine.
When I wake up, it’s still pitch-black outside. Turning on my cell, I see that it reads three thirty-four a.m. The snow is falling gently now, the sparkling flakes hitting the edges of the window as if stylishly choreographed in an intricate dance. I look over to the sleeping beauty, watching her body rise and fall. She’s a handful when she’s awake, but she’s flawless and perfect in her sleep.
Rising from the uncomfortable sofa, I cringe as my scrunched-up body tries to unknot itself. Before assuming a full-upright position, I rub the back of my neck and roll my shoulders a few times to loosen up. I’ll definitely be taking the floor during the next few nights. The couch isn’t cutting it.