“You’re not the one that has to drive for the next seven hours, I want to get going,” I said.
“How many times did I offer to drive whole or part of the way?”
I laughed. “I would very much like to arrive in one piece.”
“There is nothing wrong with my driving.”
Another, louder burst of laughter broke out from the pit of my stomach. “You drive too fast and brake too late.”
“But are you dead?”
“I would like to keep it that way.”
“You might not have a choice!” She growled.
“It makes me hard when you get all worked up like this.”
Her mouth dropped open. She walked around me, got in the car and slammed the door. That was absolutely worth it. I waved Chloe and Logan off, tried not to laugh at Nell too much, and pulled onto the road.
“Are you ignoring me?” I asked, twenty minutes in when she hadn’t even glanced my way.
“I’m just thinking.”
“About?”
“About how uncomfortable my bra is.”
My heart started flying. “Take it off then.”
She reached around her back and her hands went up her top. “Going to, there’s no way I can be uncomfortable for seven hours.”
“If there’s anything else you want to take off to get more comfortable be my guest.”
“Yeah?”
“Absolutely.”
Her hands left the back of her top and went to the zip of her jeans.
“Nell!” I said, swerving to the side in shock and almost crashing the damn car. “Are you serious?” Oh God, please be serious.
“Keep your eyes on the road! You can’t complain about my driving and handle the car like a knob at the same time.”
“You’re taking your jeans off, what do you expect?”
Every few seconds I glanced back to see if she was actually going to take them off.
“I expect you to get us to Scotland in one piece.”
“Maybe we should find somewhere to pull over.”
“Why?”
“I’m not driving for the next seven half hours with blue balls.”
Rolling her eyes, she pointed to the road. “Look ahead. I’m changing into shorts for the drive.”
“Why couldn’t you just wear them to begin with? This isn’t fair.”
“Because it was cold outside and I had to wait for the car to heat up.”
“Do you think I’m an idiot?”
Turning her head, she laughed. “Do you want an honest answer? Contrary to what you believe I don’t stay up at night planning different ways to torture you.”
“No, that just comes naturally,” I muttered.
“In a minute I’m just going to go to sleep and let you drive the whole way in silence.”
“That would be lovely, Nell. I’d appreciate seven hours nag-free.”
She gasped. “I do not nag!”
“Think back five seconds to when you were telling me how to drive.”
“Anyone would tell you to watch the fucking road!”
“Most people wouldn’t take their clothes off in my car.”
Growling, she slapped my arm.
“What the fuck, Nell?”
Her eyes filled with tears and she sat bolt upright in horror.
Shit, what just happened?
“What? What’s wrong?” I asked, looking around.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, looking at my arm.
Had we stepped into another dimension? It wasn’t as if she’d stabbed me. We teased and play fought all the time. Granted it was more wrestling than slapping, but it was on the same level to me.
“Hey, don’t worry, I think I’ll live.”
“I’m so sorry,” she repeated.
“Nell, seriously, forget it. Why’re you so spooked by this? It’s not the first time we’ve messed around like that,” I said, flicking my eyes between her and the road.
“I know I just don’t want to hurt you.”
“That didn’t hurt.”
She raised her eyes to look at me. “Are you sure?”
“Real sure. I’m not that much of a pussy.
“I know you’re not, I just…” Her eyes glossed over again and then she was so far away I could barely breathe. Was this linked to why she was so closed off? If someone had hit her growing up I would fucking kill them.
“Hey, would you rather have sex with a family member or have your vagina sealed shut?”
Bursting out laughing, she covered her face with her hands. “What’s wrong with you? You’re disgusting.”
Just lightening the mood again. We had a long way to go and I didn’t want to spend the trip with a subdued and moody Nell.
“Which one, Nell?” I asked, grinning.
“Sealed shut, you weirdo! Who would pick the other one?”
“You’d never be able to do me again.”
“I don’t care! That’s so gross. I feel like I need a shower now. Wait… What would you choose? Family or penis drops off?” She looked scared to ask.
I shrugged. “It’d have to be a sexy cousin.”
“Oh my God, what’s your damage, you fucktard!”
Laughing, I replied, “I’m kidding, and I don’t have cousins. Not any that’re sexy anyway.” She turned her nose up, making me laugh again. “Do you want to play the number plate game or make each other pick between horrendous situations?”