I had been only half awake until Jamie came into my life. I know now that it’s true, what they say: love cannot be taken out of you because it changes you. I woke up when I met Jamie. The world became louder, crazier, more exciting, and more achingly beautiful.
“Do you think it will always be like this?”
“I think there will be times when we’ll have to work at it.” He paused. “I’m willing to do that until the day I die if it means I get to hold you like this.”
? ? ?
On our way back to my apartment, I gave Jamie a good laugh when he asked if I was going to give him the New Year’s Eve kiss he’d always wanted.
“Well, I’m not gonna be kissing Dylan, not that he’s a bad kisser.”
“How would you know?” He seemed shocked but was still smiling.
“One day, Dylan and I went down to the basement laundry room and walked in on Stephen making out with some girl. This was in my ‘woe is me’ phase, mind you. Anyway, Dylan felt sorry for me so he pressed me against the wall and kissed me in front of the bimbo and Stephen. He put on a pretty good show.”
Jamie was clutching his heart, laughing hysterically. “You’re kidding.”
“No, I swear to God.”
He shook his head. “What a good guy.”
“Totally.”
“But he better keep his hands off you.”
“I don’t think you have to worry about that.”
Later that night, after kissing Jamie on the roof and toasting to the New Year with Dylan and Ashley, we were in bed by 12:10 on the dot. I woke up a few hours later to find Jamie gone from our bed. I discovered him in the living room, swaying and disoriented.
“Jamie, are you looking for your meter?”
For a second, when he looked up, it seemed like he didn’t recognize me, and then finally he spoke. He sounded like a frightened child. “Katy?”
I went to him and pulled him to sit on the couch. “Yes, baby, I’m here.”
“I feel nauseous.”
“Let me find your meter.” I got up and immediately found it on the counter. I rushed to him and nervously fumbled with the lancets for a few seconds until I finally pricked his finger and put the blood onto the meter tab. The screen read twenty. “You’re very low, baby. Hold on.” I ran into the kitchen and poured orange juice into a cup and then took it to him. He seemed extremely weak as he reached for it.
“I’m okay, Katy.”
“You need to eat.” I went to the kitchen and threw graham crackers, nuts, a cereal bar, a banana and some cheese on a plate. It took me less than thirty seconds. I ran it over to him and could tell he was already a bit more lucid.
He laughed. “What’s all this?”
“I didn’t know what you would feel like.”
“You are such a sweetheart.”
“Did this ever happen to you when you were alone?”
“If I felt low at night, it would wake me up. I would keep the meter by my bed. I think it must have been the combination of the long day and then the champagne. I’m glad I was here with you.”
“Me too.”
After he ate and we checked his blood sugar again, he fell asleep on the couch with his head in my lap. I sat there for part of the night, unable to sleep. I thought about Jamie and I together, going to Napa, getting married, starting a family, and coming back to Chicago every now and then. It started to become impossible to imagine my life without him. The ending to my book was the beginning of my life. It was the story of us, and how we came to be. What started out as a journey for one girl who kept herself hidden in the darkness became the story of two souls connected and growing together in the light. I couldn’t imagine exactly what the future looked like for us or where in the world we would be, but I knew that none of it mattered because we were becoming a part of each other. There was no other place but where we were, as long as we were together.
In the morning, Jamie asked me about birth control. We hadn’t talked about it, and I assumed he was leaving it up to me. I had an idea of where Jamie stood on the matter.
“I haven’t been using any. Should I?”
“No,” was all I said. He squinted his eyes curiously, and he flashed me a small, tight smile before looking back down at his magazine.
Jamie rented a car and decided we would road-trip it back to Napa since I would be taking some of my belongings. We moved everything else from my place to the new gorgeous apartment Jamie bought, and then we left Chicago. We hoped that we would see everyone at our wedding in the spring.
We got to know each other in every possible way as we drove to southern California before heading up to Napa. We stayed in a cute boutique hotel in downtown San Diego overlooking the gorgeous bay near the East Village. We stopped into a restaurant called the Cowboy Star. Jamie went off to the restroom while I took a seat at the bar. I ordered a martini called a Mae West from their cocktail menu, and then a few moments later I heard Jamie behind me ask for a glass of the Lawson Pinot. I turned around and smiled. “Good choice, sailor.”
He sat on the stool next to me and held his hand out. “I’m Jamie.”
“Kate,” I said, as I shook his hand.
“It’s nice to meet you.” He bowed his head very slightly.