“We’ll never have normal carefree lives, John. We do what we can, but I’ve accepted my dark side. It would be impossible for me to fade into a conventional life, even as an author. We’re killers. We can put frills around it, paint it in bright colors, but the reality will always be black. That said, we shall team with Payaso to save the country, right wrongs, kill bad guys, and annoy the hell out of our women.”
“We are very bizarre, but I am very glad you accepted me into your very strange and wonderful family, Muerto. Cala already realizes life inside our circle will be extremely self-contained, dangerous, and in some cases: monstrous. Do you think the police will be coming around later today at the whim of the Kaders?”
“It all depends on the Kader sane wing of the family such as Ishmael. He will embrace Yoda’s death with an outwardly heavy heart, but inwardly, his soul will be dancing and cheering. They will eventually accept our offer, or eventually so many will die, there won’t need to be an offer. That stuff I gave Yoda is undetectable by anything Pacific Grove CSI has. Besides, when the cops see the old munchkin, they’ll think two hundred years old, clutching his heart, natural causes for sure.”
“Can the Kaders push for an autopsy?”
“Probably, but I thought Islam frowned on autopsies.”
“They are allowed now,” John replied. “Islam makes and changes constantly in nearly everything, but what is moral and right. What it should be changing it holds on to with gripping claws: honor killings, female subjugation and mutilation, to name only a few. We have truly become a death cult. We enter countries like locusts, feeding until we destroy everything, leaving only the empty husk of humanity we claim serves Allah. In my opinion we are lucky Allah does not take a hand in correcting the world’s worst problem. If Allah did so, Islam would be wiped away in a storm of retribution over the misery it has caused.”
“Speaking of religion, I forgot to ask who they picked for the marital ceremony.”
“Bill knows a non-denominational minister who is also a practicing Justice of the Piece in Monterey County. Both Dimah and Cala like him. They wish to have him perform the ceremony.”
“That will of course mean another Fatwa for your death, right?”
John grinned over at Nick, nodding his head. “I am sure of it. I do not like their chances though of carrying it out. Many will perish before the Kabong.”
“I’m glad Bill’s taking Dimah with him to his next base.”
“I noticed you have not spoken about the upcoming summer camp Jean and Sonny want to attend together. Sonny has been haunting your house since the return of Dagger. I saw his eyes beam like flood-lamps when Rachel asked them if they would like to go to a nearby summer-camp in Carmel Valley.”
“Sonny’s still working on Phil and Clarice. They told him no immediately when they heard who suggested the camp idea. Maybe they believe I’m planning on becoming a camp counselor in reality instead of as a joke. Poor Sonny has it bad for Jean. I didn’t know ten year olds could get so involved. I don’t say anything, but I doubt his parents know he’s at our house when he spends the day getting martial arts training along with the knife throwing contests. I always said I would never do anything without another parent’s permission, but Sonny reminds me of me, only he has parents. Besides, I can only take small doses of those two cardboard cutout parents.”
“I think Jean wants you and Rachel to adopt him.”
“I don’t know about that. Sonny’s been beating her with the knife throwing lately. They’re just about level in skill. Jean doesn’t like it. Luckily for his sake, when Sonny wins, he knows Jean’s temperament well enough to either not say anything or play it down. I don’t allow any martial arts competitions other than practicing the jujitsu holds and throws I’ve been teaching them. Deke’s already adopted him. Sonny sneaks the little beggar treats when he thinks I’m not watching.”
John sighed. “It is good to have such mundane family thrills to speak of. I wonder if Sonny has a plan to gain permission for the camp.”
“He’s quiet but resourceful. My guess is he plans on blackmailing one of them to gain a foothold.”
“I wonder who might have suggested such a thing. You do not suppose it could be the Daughter of Darkness, do you?”
“Jean wants him to attend camp with her in the worst way imaginable. Does that mean she would skirt parental authority to create a scheme allowing Sonny to go with her to camp? You betcha’. I believe they’re working every angle they can find on Phil. I’m almost tempted to help but I know it would be the worst example of parental misconduct in history.”
“Yes, I am certain your ranking in the parents’ hall of fame is heavy on your mind. You kill without hesitation, Muerto, yet you hesitate to break an obscure parental code of conduct?”
“Yes, I kill without hesitation or remorse, but I also wash my beard stubble down the drain because it grosses Rachel out. My advice is not to spend any time puzzling out the incongruities in our very strange crew, John.”