Nightmare in Red (Nick McCarty #5)

Nick turned to his view of the ocean. Although overcast, Nick watched the whitecaps in the distance with fondness. Best go home, have a good meal, and get ready to join Darth and Obi-wan, Yoda. I will teach you your final lesson the family neglected to warn you about – it is best if you are old and stupid to also be old and silent.

Gus and John joined him a few moments later with fresh coffee. Nick retrieved the bottle of Bushmill’s from the balcony bar. Seeing his companions had left room in the coffee cups, Nick filled the intervening cup space with Irish whiskey.

“The great negotiator strikes again,” Gus said.

“I’ll drive,” John volunteered. “It was very odd for the old one to embrace death with such stupidity. You would think when one survives to reach his age that person would be more selective in speech. I admit having one or two old idiots in my family too. They survive by the grace of Allah and the suffering endured by the people around them.”

“A sane person wishes to grow old, die gracefully, and be remembered fondly,” Nick replied. “You can rest assured everyone Yoda leaves alone for a moment prays never to be near the bastard again. Now I’m glad I shadowed them from the airport when they went to meet the old zombie. This will be a gentle reminder of what can happen to each and every one of them. Although my guilt will be suspected, they won’t have a shard of evidence. Besides, they’ll be so glad he’s dead, it will overcome their curiosity. I wish I could chance doing Jacob too, the prick. He spit on my table. I should have ripped his tongue out.”

“It is amazing,” Gus agreed. “They suspect you in all the mysterious deaths in their family where members have violently crossed your path. Yet the Jacob imbecile comes into your home as a guest, spits on your table, and his companion, the zombie threatens your family. Good Lord, I’m not sure you wouldn’t be doing the world a favor by making the male Kaders extinct. Maybe the change in name would help the intelligence level.”

“Ish seems reasonable,” Nick said. “At least I saw his eyes brighten when I mentioned the amount. We’ll see how they react to my offer and Jacob nose adjustment after Yoda quits exhaling forever. I bet the old zombie hates the thought of death. He knows there aren’t any virgins waiting for him across the great divide. Man, the Irish sure tastes good after that encounter. It’s a good thing you and Cala aren’t real nostalgic about family ties, John. It seems you two will have to settle for El Muerto, Payaso, and our extended family as your own.”

“It is better than I have had. We will also have Bill and Dimah. I like Bill. He seemed a bit wary around you, Muerto. Do you think Dimah shared some added suspicions about your secret identity?”

“Probably. Bill is careful. I like that. He’s a Marine thinking of making the Corps a career. Bill would not want more than a passing friendly relationship with my ‘Addams Family’ as Tina likes to call us. Down to business.” Nick poured a bit more Irish in each empty coffee cup. “Yoda of course goes first. I don’t know what kind of influence he has but it will be ending tonight. If they were wily and smart, the Kaders would bundle him off immediately to a safe-house in the East. Then, we’ll await word from Ish. If they refuse my offer, I’ll do Jacob next on the spot. If they accept my offer, I’ll wait a month before I relieve the world of the ‘Spitter’.”

“On a lighter note, Cala was very convincing in handling your ‘Wedding Planner’ suggestion,” John remarked. “It will be a beautiful double wedding, complete with a Marine detachment as honor guard. Dimah may have been a bit doubtful at first, but Cala explained how much easier this will be without the added worries. I am indeed fortunate to be marrying a woman with common sense.”

“It’s very comforting when they act all warm and pliable before the marriage,” Gus replied. “Nick is the only one I’ve seen who continued his wayward ways after his vows. You know of him duct taping Rachel into the bed every morning, and then switching to Jello in her slippers. Even he capitulated to married harmony of doing exactly as she ordered, granting her every wish and command.”

“I would like to interject some truth here. Rachel became pregnant with Quinn. I couldn’t very well keep duct taping her into bed or adding something cool to her slippers. John will find a balance between my somewhat twisted humor and your complete degradation into Tina’s lapdog.”