After I decided to accept the new job, life became unmanageable. I had three weeks left on the job I was working, and even though it was always temporary, the goodbye at that job flooded me with emotion. It was as if I were saying goodbye to an entire chapter of my life, not just some nice people I’d worked with for a few weeks. Ella and Megan even planned a big going away dinner. Even though Ella was a dear friend and would always support me, I knew she loved any reason to have people over to her beautiful house, designed and built by her fantastic husband.
The evening had been capped by Nancy and Bob surprising me by showing up. Nancy looked great and I knew Bob was taking good care of her. We’d found a moment to sneak onto Ella’s back deck and talk, staying warm with the propane warmers Porter had installed for just such an occasion. She told me she’d found a new job at a nursing home with a pediatric unit. She was still helping to care for kids, but now it was on a broader scale. She said she couldn’t imagine taking on another job where she was the main care provider for one child. She smiled softly and told me that Marcus had ruined her for any other kids.
We both smiled with tears in our eyes and then she hugged me, telling me she was proud of me for taking the next step.
“He’s looking down on you and he’s so proud, Kal. You have to believe this is what he wants for you.”
I hugged her tighter, then we both pulled away and dried our eyes.
“Come on, Nance. Let’s go back inside before people realize we’re out here crying.”
The party was amazing, but I still had things to wrap up, so the next day I drove to Seattle and made an appointment for a property management company to meet me at my house. I figured I may as well rent it out while I was in LA. That way, I could earn a little money on it, but still have a place to come back to should the job in LA not work out. I was determined to no longer be a drain on my friends.
I pulled up to my house and could almost imagine Marcus running out of the front door, Nancy behind him, yelling my name, excited to have me home. But instead, what I saw was a house that looked dark inside, a yard that definitely needed to be tended to, and a pile of weekly newspapers spread across the front walkway.
I grabbed my bag from the car and started toward the door when I heard someone yelling from across the street.
“Ma’am? Ma’am?”
I turned and saw a woman running toward me, looking both ways quickly before she crossed the road.
“Ma’am, do you live here?” She looked at me expectantly. My first reaction was a little rude. Who else would be coming up to the door with a suitcase? But then I calmed down and tried to remember that I hadn’t been there in months and even before then, I wasn’t here often. If Nancy had shown up, I’m sure the neighbor would have recognized her and probably would have even known her name.
“I own this house. My name is Kalli Rivers.” I held my hand out to her, and she smiled when she shook it.
“Oh, good, an owner. I thought the house had been abandoned. Thought, you know, a foreclosure or something. There used to be people living here, but they cleared out quickly.”
My heart lurched at her words. “You probably mean my brother, Marcus, and his caretaker, Nancy.”
“Nancy, yes! Oh, I didn’t realize Marcus had a sister. How is Marcus?” Her eyes were alight with warmth. Obviously, she’d met Marcus and thought he was just as delightful as anyone who’d come into contact with him.
“I’m sorry to tell you he passed away a few months ago.” The words were never easy to say, but I did notice that when I told her, I didn’t feel like I wanted to crawl into a black cave. Somehow, telling someone he’d passed had become less difficult. I wasn’t less sad, it was just, I don’t know, a part of me. Something I’d learned to deal with as time went on.
“Oh my, I’m so sorry,” she said as she reached out and took my hand. Then she used my hand to pull me into a hug. I stiffened at first, unused to hugging strangers, but then I let her hug me and I leaned into it a little. Comfort was something I needed to learn to accept from those who offered it. People didn’t offer comfort for selfish or insincere reasons. When people wanted to hug you, it was because they thought it would make your pain ease. So I let her ease my pain.
“Wait,” she said, pulling away quickly. “You’re Kalli?”
“That’s right,” I answered, my brows pulled together in confusion.