Necessary Heartbreak: A Novel of Faith and Forgiveness (When Time Forgets #1)

Leah nodded.

“He’s the man we saw at the parade on Palm Sunday, Dad,” said Elizabeth.

Michael reached down to hold Leah’s hand, and she grabbed it tightly. Pilate called out to the crowd, asking them which prisoner should be released as a gift from the Romans. Michael stood transfixed, horrified at the cries around him.

“Barabbas,” they cried. “Barabbas!”

Elizabeth looked at her father in disbelief. He rubbed her back quickly to reassure her. The atmosphere was chaotic and confusing, making it hard for them to follow the proceedings.

The crowd began to shout again. “Crucify him, crucify him!”

Leah turned to Michael and whispered fiercely, “This is unbearable.”

Stunned by the scene, Elizabeth leaned her head against Leah’s shoulder.

Michael looked at them. “Elizabeth, you must stay with Leah at all times. If we get split up, go back to the house.”

Elizabeth and Leah nodded as the crowd grew louder, swelling up closer to the stairs.

“Would you crucify this man who has done nothing wrong?” Pilate asked the crowd again. “Shouldn’t he be the one set free?”

“Barabbas! Release Barabbas!”

Pilate motioned to his guards, who brought Barabbas out to the cheering crowd. Their howling overwhelmed Pilate, and he relented by freeing Barabbas. Then Jesus, with his hands tied, his legs badly bruised, and bloodstains on his torn clothes, was led down the stairs into the courtyard.

“Go now,” Michael urged.

But swarms of people had entered after them, blocking their exit. Michael could feel the thrust of the crowd propelling him backward. He heard the soldiers taunting Jesus with lewd cries—“Our king, our king!”—but Michael was unable to see what they were doing.

A Roman soldier stood on the marble stairs to the far right with a whip in his hand. Michael realized with horror that the soldier was stretching, loosening his shoulders much the way a baseball player does in an on-deck circle. A moment later, Michael saw the soldier run down the stairs to join the others beating Jesus.

The sickening sounds of leather striking flesh knifed through his ears. Elizabeth was openly sobbing under her veil while Leah held her. It seemed to go on and on. Michael couldn’t imagine how anyone could endure it.

“No more! Please!” Elizabeth screamed before Leah could push her face back into her chest.

The smell of blood was thick around them.

“Stop! Please!” Michael howled.

A soldier ran through the crowd toward Michael. When he was near, he thrust his spear toward Michael’s stomach. He fell backward into the crowd, his head slamming against the stone ground.

“Be quiet!” the soldier shouted.

Elizabeth and Leah helped Michael back to his feet. He was dazed.

“It’s too dangerous here,” he said to them. “Go!”

“Dad, I’m not leaving you. Are you okay?”

Michael nodded weakly. “Yes. Please, you need to go. I’ll be right behind you. Please.”

But just then the beating stopped, and the soldiers broke into the crowd, creating a path. One of the soldiers brushed against Michael.

Looking out behind them as they passed, he could see Jesus’ limp body lying by the stairs on the ground. Michael turned away, covering Elizabeth’s face with his hands.

“Don’t look!”

Michael watched the soldiers pull Jesus to his feet before placing a big wooden crossbar on his back. They began to push him forward.

“Stop!” Michael screamed.

Jesus staggered a few steps, unable to keep his balance, and tumbled back to the stone pavement. The beam bounded off the ground and lay at his side while the soldiers surrounded him, laughing maliciously.

“Stop this!” Elizabeth yelled.

“Take her home,” Michael pleaded over his shoulder to Leah. But Leah pushed forward with the crowd, trying to get a look at Jesus.

“Who will help him?” shouted a soldier.

Leah released her hand from Elizabeth and stepped forward. “I will!”

“No!” Michael yelled. He yanked her back toward Elizabeth, but she resisted. “You can’t do this. They’ll hurt you if you fall. Let me do it.”

He paused, grabbing her shoulder to make her look into his eyes. “Your place is with my daughter,” he said to her.

Leah stared back at him, her face blank. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek while Elizabeth grabbed Leah’s arm. Michael turned from them and stepped out from the crowd toward the soldiers, his hand raised.

“Pick it up!” one of them commanded.

Michael bent down on one knee, bracing himself to pick up the heavy crossbar. As he tried to get a grip on it, he looked over and saw Jesus on his knees. Their eyes met. Michael wanted to look away but couldn’t.

“Are you here to lift your burden or to help me with mine?” Jesus whispered to him.

Michael stared.

“Get up!” a soldier commanded.

Michael looked at the crossbar and then again directly into Jesus’ eyes. The other man stared back with total understanding and empathy, and Michael was dumbfounded. How could Jesus be worrying about him—about Michael Stewart—at a moment like this? The sudden realization made him weep.

Jesus looked at him forlornly. “Heartbreak is necessary for one to understand how great God’s gift of time truly is.”

Michael’s body heaved a couple of times as he tried to regain his composure.

“Don’t look too far, Michael. Your daughter can lift your burden,” Jesus said.

The soldier grew impatient.“I said, get up!”He kicked hard into the softness of Michael’s back.

The blow rattled him, throwing him off-balance. But he quickly planted his feet again and lifted the heavy beam. It was rough in his hands and he felt tiny splinters dig into his skin as he hoisted it up onto his shoulder. His knees buckled but he regained his footing and walked slowly out of the courtyard. Michael could hear Jesus as he, too, was kicked to his feet. But with the crossbar so heavy and the crowd so tight around them, Michael couldn’t turn to see him.

“Follow me!”the soldier demanded, leading them out onto the road.

Michael wasn’t sure if it was a drop of rain that hit the top of his head or a tear from heaven.



“I’ll stop when I want to stop,”Vicki teased, looking at him with a smile.

Michael looked straight ahead, occasionally wiping the front of the car window as he identified the Queens storefronts they passed. Just after the movie theater, he said, “Okay, slow down now and park on the next block.”

“There?”

“Yes, in front of that little hill.”

Vicki found the curbside vacant. “This is easy,”she said as she parked the car underneath a streetlamp in front of a baseball field.

“Come on. Let me show you this statue.”

“Here?”Vicki looked outside. The rain was pelting the top of her windshield, which had fogged up again. She wiped it clean and looked out. “It’s pouring out there. Can’t you just tell me what the statue looks like?”

Michael was frustrated. “No, I need you to come out and see it with me. It’s fantastic.”

Vicki looked at Michael as if he were crazy. “Is this going to make you happy?”

“It could.”

“Well, if I’m going to get soaked on a baseball field looking at some dumb statue, you better be happy.”She laughed again, flipping her hair off her shoulder with exaggerated flair. “I hope you understand I don’t do this for every boyfriend.”

“Oh, you have others?”

“I may,”Vicki said with a sly smile as she reached for the door handle, “but today you will do.”

Michael opened the passenger-side door, leaping over a huge puddle before meeting her by the front of the car. “Come on,”he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her up the slippery grass over the hill.

Vicki glanced around through the pouring rain. “So where is it?”

He pulled her toward second base. “It’s way out there,”he said, indicating center field.