“One day, Jilly Bean, you’ll have a shiny badge, and you will get to put all the bad guys away.”
Rubbing my little fingers along my father’s shiny badge, my eyes lit up. I never wanted to do anything else ever again. To hell with figure skating, or modeling. I wanted to hold a gun and put bad guys away. From this day forward, it was my dream.
“Just like you, Daddy?” I asked, looking at the badge in awe.
He sighed, taking the badge from my fingers. I didn’t want to let go. I wanted to hold it just a little longer. Having it in my hands I felt like I was holding Poseidon’s Trident, something with magical powers. I could hold this up and everyone would do what I wanted.
“Jillian, baby, let’s hope you’ll do a way better job than Daddy.” He fluffed my blonde hair, and walked away.
Opening my eyes, tears stream down my face.
My father was dirty, a murderer, Zeek said. My dad led me into a war I wasn’t prepared for. Realization strikes my subconscious that if I didn’t have Zeek, I’d be in a grave next to my dad. I wonder if Mom knows?
My hands sweep up my scalp and tangle in my hair.
I cry so hard my vision blurs and when I turn my head to look at the door that holds the beast, Zeek is standing there watching me. The beast I threw everything away for, the one who threw everything away for me. The animal that is here to save me.
The radio switches to Saliva playing “Always.”
Standing on wobbly feet, sloshing more booze down my throat my eyes never leave his.
Black briefs hug his hips snugly. His body tanned and outlined in perfection, that fucking V leading right into those tight briefs. I’ve been fighting my love for him, denying him out of respect to my hypocrite father.
I’ve pushed him away trying to do the right thing, not only for me, but him.
I’m so sick of doing the right fucking thing. It’s all I’ve ever done, and it’s so exhausting, and painfully lonely.
“Kiss me,” I whisper, blinking slowly.
A tear slides down my face and slips across my nose as I finally give into the fight. I wait for that nagging pain from loving my father’s murderer to strike my chest, but it doesn’t come.
My conscience just doesn’t give a shit anymore.
I tried so hard to give my father the benefit of the doubt. I tried not to turn on my family of blue…But not anymore. My father doesn’t deserve my tears anymore. It’s time for me to stop this pity party, and take back what was mine. Look forward to the future and build my own path in the McAdams’ name.
He strides toward me, his steps slow, his eyes focused on mine. He has that look, the one where he is going to grab me and kiss me stupid. My heart beats wildly, my fingers that were holding the whiskey loosening, allowing the neck of the bottle to slip through them. The bottom of the bottle hitting the floor, splashing whiskey on my feet before spilling onto the carpet. I can’t deny it any longer, I need his touch. I feel like I’m drowning without him, even if he’s the reason for this pain, I can’t breathe without him.
He grips the back of my neck, looking down at me with a look of hunger, protection, and dominance.
My lips part, my eyes growing heavy.
“You don’t hate me,” he whispers. “I may be one of the darkest creatures God put on this green Earth, but he put me in your path for a reason, Rookie. Some of the sweetest things wouldn’t exist on Earth without the man eating beasts to protect it.”
Butterflies take flight in my stomach as I ponder that. It reminds of pilot fish in the ocean, they stay close to the sharks because predators are afraid of it. Now it all makes sense.
“Just kiss me. We can talk later.” My voice thick with booze and emotion. I want him to ravish me with his strong hands, push me to the brink of pleasure to push out thoughts of abandonment.
He lowers his lips, almost touching mine but stops. Those dark eyes looking right into my soul, making me feel things I don’t want to succumb to.
“Tell me no, tell me to walk away,” he whispers, his words hit my chest hard. He nearly said the same thing before we had our very first kiss. His brows narrow, his eyes hooded with sincerity. I couldn’t tell him no then…and I can’t now.
“Yes.”
“You stupid girl.” He smiles. Like a wolf does right before it devours its prey. Maliciously.
Zeek gently presses his lips to mine, his mouth taking my upper lip in a tender hold. My toes curl into the carpet, the feelings of lust, infatuation, and love striking my chest so hard that what little salvation I have is pulled from me. Placing both my hands on his hard chest, it’s warm beneath my palms, his hard build alluring as ever. I miss touching him, the security and comfort brought an addiction of its own. Pulling back to catch my breath, he grabs me from under the thighs quickly, lowering me to the carpet with ease.
“Your arm!” I warn, scared lifting me is going to hurt him.