“It’s going to take me a few minutes to recover.”
“We have all night.”
“I know what will make me hard again in a second.” His trying to be helpful didn’t fool her.
“What?” she said, feeling his hand slide under her panties.
“Do that again.”
*
Lucky jerked awake, breathing heavily. He sat on the side of the bed, angry at himself for falling asleep. He had been so careful not to fall asleep next to Willa, but tonight, there had been a newfound confidence in her that had made her initiate their intimacy, and they had spent most of the night making love. Regardless, he had meant to only lie beside her long enough for her to fall asleep.
Standing, he went to his dresser and pulled out a pair of jeans. Unable to bear the thought of anything else on his body, he soundlessly left the bedroom. The wooden floor under his feet reminded him he was home and not back overseas, trying to figure out how to save Kale’s life.
He took a deep breath of air as soon as he stepped outside. Running a hand through his damp hair, he came to the realization he was going to have to take the medication he had been avoiding since he had been let out of the service. Willa was already worried, and he wasn’t going to have her concerned that him being unable to sleep with her was her fault.
“Lucky…”
Startled, he almost turned around at her voice.
“Go inside.” He clenched his fists at the unintentional harshness in his voice. “Please, go inside.” This time, he was successful in making his voice appear normal.
“Let me help you.”
Composing his expression, he turned his back to the sun just as it was beginning to rise in the sky.
Willa was standing five feet away, holding her hand out to him.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Willa. You’re not safe with me. Go—”
She took a step closer, not dropping her hand. “John 1:5 ‘The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.’”
“You didn’t know you were taking on a fucked-up mess when you married me.” He took a step back.
“You’re fighting a cruel war you can’t win, Lucky. You’re not responsible for Kale or any of those men’s deaths. You’re a hero.”
He grimaced. “I’m not a hero.”
“Yes, you are,” she insisted. “You left The Last Riders because you love me, and I’m asking you to go back to them for the same reason.”
“You would hate it there. I might be happier there, but you would be unhappy.”
“Romans 12:18. ‘If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.’ As long as we’re together, I don’t care where we live.” Her sincerity began to sink into the darkness that had been clouding his nightmares.
“You’re too tenderhearted. The men won’t be polite all the time. In fact, they’re usually assholes, and the women can be bitchy.”
“Proverbs 27:17. ‘As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.’ I’ll learn how to give as good as I get.”
“I would be the vice-president. There would be things that I do that go against the church’s beliefs.”
Matthew 22:21. ‘Render therefore unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s; and unto God the things that are God’s.’ I know that, even if you leave the church, God will dwell in our home,” she said with certainty.
Willa took another step forward, standing directly in front of him, still holding her hand out to him. Her love and faith shined clearly from her eyes as the sun glistened down on her at the beginning of a new day, a new life they were about to begin.
“You were meant to be a pastor’s wife,” he said achingly.
“I was meant to be your wife.” Her whispered vow released him from his last doubt.
Lucky reached out, taking her hand. Stepping forward, he grabbed on to the future that God and Willa both held for him.
Chapter 27
“Hi, Douglas, come in. I wasn’t expecting you.” Willa held the door open as the handyman entered.
“I wanted to stop by to go over the kitchen costs with you one more time before I took out the cabinets.”
“That’s fine. Lucky’s at the hospital visiting Angus. He’s doing much better. I stopped by at lunch today.”
“I know. He told me you stopped by, and Lucky was coming by this evening.”
“Hopefully, they’ll get his blood pressure down and release him tomorrow. Let’s go in the kitchen, and you can show me … You didn’t bring the spreadsheet?” She glanced over her shoulder curiously, looking at his empty hands.
“No…”
When they walked into the large church kitchen, Douglas came to a stop as Dustin turned around, and a moment’s frustration crossed Douglas’s face.
“Don’t worry; Dustin won’t mind if we take a short break on our meeting. He’s stuffing his face with a new cupcake I’m working on.”
“I should have called first. I don’t want to interrupt—”