“And I need you. I want more than a friends-with-benefits relationship. But I’ll take it if that’s all you’re offering, because I love you, Chance. But I have a father who needs me. Those two things needn’t be mutually exclusive. I don’t know why this has to be good-bye, because that’s what it feels like. Like you are saying good-bye.”
Chance looked out over her shoulder as if there was something important written on the wall oven. “There’s no sense trying to make this into something it is never going to be, Libby. You’ve made your choice—”
“This isn’t a choice. I’m not walking out on you. I just need to be here for my father.”
“For how long? And if it’s just so we can have sex once in a while, is that really what you want? What you would settle for? You deserve better than what I’m going to give you.”
“I don’t know why you can’t give me more, like another chance. I have tried so hard to be there for you. And I am still here for you. But he’s my father, Chance. And he needs me. And that should be okay.”
If Chance loved her, wouldn’t it be okay? He should understand. But then, he never had a family who loved him and whom he loved.
“This time it is clearly not about your father. It’s about us. And I just don’t see how it will work. My ranch is not just a place to hang my hat. It’s everything I’ve worked for. It’s a place no one can take away from me. It’s someplace I can call home, and that’s a big deal for someone who has never had one. It means a lot to me.”
“In time, if we can work things out and we decided to get married, I’d move. All I’m asking for is more time to work things out. To find our future.”
“And then if your father has another attack? Being on the road all the time is crazy enough. Living in two separate states is not going to work. We have too many issues to overcome to even get to that point. You know that in your heart.”
A blare from a horn sounded from the street.
“I don’t know that, and I’m not going to make it easy for you to walk away. I do know you don’t understand, having had the parents you did, but family means something to me. I’ll find a way to work it out. I’m not giving up on us.” She couldn’t. She loved him.
Another honk.
“That’s Lonnie. I’ve got to go.”
Libby tightened her arms around Chance and pressed her lips to his, hoping he would return the kiss. He not only kissed her back but took it deeper.
She had to find a way to his heart. She had to keep trying. This couldn’t be good-bye.
He broke the kiss, and she stepped back, tears trailing down her cheek.
“It’s not over, Chance. I won’t let it be.”
His eyes held sadness. “You have to learn to accept what you cannot change. I have.”
He turned away, gathered his hat from near Cowboy, and gave the cat a farewell pat before heading out the door. When it slammed, Cowboy let out a plaintive meow. Libby knew just how he felt.
Chapter 19
Chance read the text message again. She had sent one every day for the last month. Saying the same thing.
“How did you do today? I miss you.”
And he, like a fool, always replied. “Doing fine.”
He never could bring himself to type more than that. To tell her he missed her. To ask her how she was doing, though he couldn’t stop wondering.
Truth was, he was doing lousy. He hadn’t been able to move up in his standings. He was only completing about sixty percent of his rides. His foot throbbed, and even meditating couldn’t keep his mind off Libby.
He’d come to look forward to those text messages, even if they pulled at him like a bear’s claw, scraping him raw. She was doing what she could to keep the connection alive, and as long as she did, it meant she still wanted a connection.
Why was the wonder of it. She was building her life in Wyoming. She was taking care of her father. She was doing what everyone and anyone would consider the right thing.
Too bad every time he thought about “what ifs” with her, it all came down to one question, how could he trust her with his heart?
“You ready to hit the road?” Lonnie asked as he entered the cement locker room. “If we put pedal to the metal, we have a chance of making the slack for Puyallup.”
Chance finished typing and hit send. “Let’s do it.”
*
Libby stared down at the slip of paper with a scrawled phone number that she held in her hand. Dare she dial it? What kind of trouble was she asking for? Didn’t she have her hands full of trouble already?
Her father was recovering, but with each day came new challenges to keep him from doing too much. She had finally convinced him to drink decaf coffee. He was starting cardiac rehab, and she had him eating a low-cholesterol diet, though she’d never told him that was why she was making so many dishes with pasta, fish, and vegetables, now that she could cook. She’d taken over the Casper dealership and was finding there was more to running it than just selling cars. She was actually enjoying analyzing the inventory, developing promotions, and figuring out deals with decent margins.