Using my trembling hand, I pull the cups of her bra down and her firm breasts greet me with bright pink nipples.
My balls squeeze with a tingle so intense I feel it in my stomach. When I touched her boobs before, it was over her shirt. This is skin on skin. She looks a mess with her frayed braided hair, smeared makeup, and swollen eyes from crying. But God if she doesn’t make messy look beautiful.
“Touch me,” she asks lightly.
Without a second thought, I grab her breast with both hands. She moans, and rocks herself onto my leg.
Leaning down to kiss her, she leans up at the same time and we butt heads.
“Ouch,” I laugh, rubbing my forehead.
“I’m sorry, I’m nervous.” She blows out a ragged breath.
“We don’t have to do this,” I reassure her. I want this, but not if she’s not ready.
“No, I’m ready.” She grabs my cheeks making me look right at her. “I’m ready, Camden.”
Lowering my head I kiss her plush lips, before taking her mouth fully. She tastes of salty tears and stolen wine.
My hands swim down her curves before finding her panties. My heart beats wildly as I sit up to pull them down her legs. I can’t help but look between her legs. I can’t believe this is going to happen, I’m finally losing my virginity.
“Do you,” her voice cracks, “do you have a condom?”
Frantically I search for my wallet.
“Yeah, I have one.” She eyes me suspiciously as if I have been carrying a condom around for any girl to have sex with.
“I’ve been waiting for this day since we were thirteen, Tate.”
She smiles a smile so big I can’t help but smile back.
Ripping the foil, I pull out the rubber and place it on my shaft. It’s suffocating and feels awkward.
Positioning myself in-between her legs again, I nudge her opening and her eyes widen. I still.
“You ready?”
She nods, as she licks her bottom lip. “Wait, Camden?” Her eyes flutter as she looks at me deeply.
“Yeah?”
“If you break my heart, I’ll break your face.” Her voice is so soft I barely hear her, but looking at her face I can tell she is more than serious.
“That’ll never happen, Tate.” I brush her hair from her face, cupping the back of her head so she looks right at me.
Grabbing her hips, I lower my mouth to hers as I slowly push myself inside of her. It’s tight, squeezing me like my hand never could.
She whimpers into my mouth and I slow my thrust. Darting my tongue into her mouth, I capture her cries as I go as deep as I can go.
Opening my eyes, I see hers flutter open. Placing my hands on the ground, I look between us as I slowly withdraw to the tip, finding blood smearing the condom.
I look back up, and find she was watching too.
I continue my slow pace as I don’t want to hurt her. Just as I’m getting my rhythm she reaches up and pulls my hair. My brows pinch together in confusion, and she tugs again.
What the hell?
Fisting a handful of her primped hair for the funeral I pull it and her eyes roll. That… is a surprise.
She tilts her head to the side, her chest rising and falling rapidly as her eyes harden.
“Hurt me, pull harder.” Her words breathy. “Just do it.”
Wanting to please her, I pull her hair harder. Her fingernails dig into my scalp as she pulls mine hard. The pain does something to me, it ignites something so deep I pull hers harder, as if it’s a competition who can jerk whose hair the hardest, and she moans.
I took Tatum’s virginity on the train tracks that day, as she did mine. It wasn’t gentle like you see in the movies, it was rough and on fire.
It was the best day of my life.?
Chapter Eleven
Tate
After running two miles I shower, letting the hot water set into my aching calves. I only had to stop ten times while I heaved for breath. I fell once bruising and skinning my knee, and my toes are aching from my tight tennis shoes.
I’m really out of shape.
Pulling on my sports bra and loose cross back tank top, I head out the door to my dad’s house.
I’m dreading this dinner. It won’t go well, I don’t know why Journey insists on us doing this family thing. We aren’t a family anymore, not since Mom died.
Passing Camden’s parents’ house the moving truck is gone today, but his sexy car is still in the driveway.
Hurt aches in my chest as I think about never being his again. When I moved to LA, it hurt and it was the toughest thing I’ve ever done breaking ties with Camden, I always thought in my head that maybe one day we’d get back together. That hope that had laced itself in my soul was severed last night. Reality punching me in the gut at full force.
I lost the only boy I ever loved.
Shaking my head of the thoughts, I step up the steps of my old house and open the door.
The familiar smell of home hits me along with so many memories heartache fills my chest.
Dad is sitting in his green chair in front of the TV, as dishes clank in the kitchen.