Live Wire (Ramsey Security #2)

Yet I'm still me. Nothing truly frightens me. Even death is no more than a future inconvenience. Why am I allowing this man to make me so weak? Brad is like a Trojan horse, sneaking past my icy walls and destroying me from within. And he does it all without trying.

His expression when he enters the kitchen and sees me is one of unrestrained honesty. He wants me. He's also blissfully happy the way a great night in bed often makes a man. Our time together has strengthened Brad while I feel pathetically weak.

The difference between the sexes is never as apparent as when he smiles at me.

I refuse to play along with my biology. Brad is beautiful, and the sex is wonderful, but the pleasure is fleeting. Lust always fades.

Analyzing my weakness, I decide I'm simply reacting to this new phase in my life. I've given up a darker lifestyle and embraced something softer. This change threw me off kilter, that's all. I'm still Saskia. I still fear nothing. Not pain or torture. And certainly not the beautiful blond man watching me while I finish my coffee.

Brad knows something is up the minute he leans down to kiss my neck, and I dodge his affections. Bolting out of the kitchen, I nearly run into Minka and her best buddy and former assassin partner Troy Sheridan.

"She's so perky," Minka says to Troy.

When I glare at her, she smiles wider. Troy glances around before nodding at Brad watching us from the kitchen.

"Where do I set up the extra surveillance?" Troy asks.

"Outside," I mutter, walking away.

Minka guides Troy to the backyard first. Hearing her boots on the wood floors, I know she's now coming to bother me. I hurry to my room and push the door shut until her hand stops me.

"What's wrong?" she says, grinning in a completely unsympathetic way. "Bad dreams?"

I stare up at her and frown. "Do you really want to be my friend or are you just playing one of your stupid games?"

Minka's smile changes. "I'm really digging the idea of girlfriends."

"Then come with me."

We walk into my bedroom where I shut the door. Minka flops on the bed and stares at me with excited eyes.

"Did you two have your first kiss?" she asks.

"We slept together last night."

Minka nods. "Huh, so you're a bit of a slut, aren't you? I like that. What's the problem?"

"How did you stay professional with Troy back when you were dating and working together?"

"Oh, so you want to play things safe and cool, but lover boy wants to take things to a clingy level. Or am I reading this wrong?"

"You're not wrong."

"Well my way won't work with you. When I was with Troy, I just ran hot like I always do. You're a frigid little badass though, and Brad's making you warm up. No idea how to deal with that."

"Should I just tell him to fuck off?"

"Hey, normally, I'd say play coy and make him squirm, but we're like a decade too late for high school moves. Why don't you just be honest and say you need space while you're working? Considering people are actually trying to kill him, I think he'll want you to stay focused."

Minka's right. Hiding from Brad is childish. We spent the night together, but I'm still a professional. As a grown man, he'll understand my concerns.

"Is it the torture thing that's worrying you?" Minka asks, rolling onto her back and staring at the ceiling.

Even frowning, I know what she means. Minka though takes my silence to mean I'm confused.

"After all, Brad was tortured by his captors, and you are Little Maven. I'd imagine that'd be an awkward conversation."

"We're lovers, not confidants," I mutter. "There's no need to share anything with him."

"True, as long as it's sex, he doesn't need to know your secrets. Now if you get too tied up with him then things might get iffy."

"Are you trying to make me tense?"

"No, just talking. I don't know how to be supportive. Maybe I'd do better if you cried or looked at all sympathetic."

Rolling my eyes, I sit on the bed. "He makes me feel strange. Weak, I guess."

"Fucked you sideways, huh?"

"You're not helping."

A grinning Minka pokes me in the back. "I don't see the problem. You're healthy young people with mutual attraction. You want some space, and I've told you how to get it. So what's the problem?"

"I don't like this feeling," I say, scratching at my chest. "I feel broken since last night, and save the humor. I'm being serious."

"Maybe you really like this guy. Have you ever liked a guy before?"

"Sure."

"Really liked a guy."

"No, but I enjoyed sex before."

"I've enjoyed sex before too," Minka says, sitting up next to me, "but it's different when you care about the person. I cared about Troy and everything felt different. I didn't even love him, but the sex was different. So maybe you care about Brad more than you have for any of the other guys lucky enough to get into your panties."

"I might be compromised."

"Do you want to quit this job?"

"No but I might need to."

"Do you think you can put aside your attraction to shoot a target?"

"I can't imagine anything capable of distracting me enough to not shoot someone."

"No, I can't either, but I figured I'd ask."