The day before, Ford gave me money for shoes. When I told him I didn’t need his money, he told me to shut up and take it.
I decide to focus on making myself pretty for Ford. No more thinking about him ditching me or even worse getting hurt. Instead, I’ll plan the dance I’ll do for him once I have a nice pair of heels.
Lula isn’t thrilled about staying with a babysitter while we go out. She stares at us from the window and I feel like an asshole leaving her behind. Bebe’s expression makes me think she feels worse.
“She’s confused about why we don’t live at the house anymore,” Bebe says. “It’s not like I can tell her that our friends are prostitutes and their piece of S H I T pimp is getting B L O W J O B S every F U C K I N G ten minutes.”
“It’s a shame your friends can’t get away from him.”
“I don’t even think they want to. That life and those people are all they know. I never want that for Lula.”
“That’s why you’re a good mommy.”
The two moms share a smile, leaving me feeling left out. Though my glum mood is mostly hormonal, I can’t shake negative thoughts about Ford. Not really certain what an enforcer does, I can’t imagine him working. So I think up stuff involving him bleeding and hurt.
“Don’t, Shay,” Darby says as we sit at a light. “You get to thinking about everything that’ll go wrong and it’ll eat you up. Most women don’t have the stomach to be with a man like Ford. It’s not your fault if you’re one of them. If you want to keep him though, you need to roll with these lost days.”
Bebe glances back at me. “Is it worth it?”
I think of Ford’s smile. The lines around his blue eyes, his straight white teeth, and those lips that made me crazy. Everything about his smile is perfection.
“Yes,” I tell her.
Bebe grins, even though she thinks I’m wasting time on a man out of reach. Or maybe after her time with Howie, she can’t imagine wanting someone dangerous. Darby understands though.
“When Joker had to leave in the middle of the night or took off in the middle of dinner, I pretended like it was normal. I mean, other wives deal with that too. Wives of cops and soldiers don’t know if their men are safe. They have faith and I learned to do the same. The women who need more assurances shouldn’t hook up with club boys. Any promise a one percenter makes is likely a lie. Even if he means the words when he says he’ll be safe or come back to you, it’s a lie. He can’t control the shit in this world especially not in a place like Little Memphis.”
“I can’t give up Ford,” I mumble.
“Then suck it up, buttercup.”
Bebe smiles sympathetically at me even while trying not to laugh.
“Wait, so I can’t whine or pout at all?”
“Fine,” Darby says, “but you need to knock it off once we get our nails done.”
“Deal. Now, leave me alone to wallow in my hormonal suffering.”
Darby laughs while I think Bebe pities my whiny ass. I stare out the window and think about the night before with Ford. We fucked twice then took a shower and fucked once more. Not in the shower since the stall is barely big enough for Ford. After exhausted from so much fucking, we watched American Dad while Ford held me against him.
Now I understand how he was pacing himself before telling me about the next few days apart. If it meant nothing to him, he would have blurted it out easy-peasy. If I got upset, he’d fuck me into agreement.
Instead, he hadn’t wanted to say the words because he was falling for me. Hell yeah, I’m holding onto the fantasy even if it bites me in the ass down the road.
36
Ford
New Record
Paro and his bodyguard Sandy are hiding out at the house of a few of his whores. A neighbor says one chick moved out with her little girl a few days earlier. I wonder if this is Shay’s new pal Bebe. I don’t wonder long. Pax and I have work to do.
We go blitzkrieg on the house, busting through a backdoor and scaring the crap out of a kid. I move past the crying boy and hurry to the front room where Sandy is already pulling his weapon. I nail him in the face before he aims the gun.
Paro screams louder than the kids until Pax busts his balls with the bat. Crumbling to the ground, the pimp is quickly down along with his bodyguard. I look over the two women staring in horror. One is holding her kid while the other is likely the mom of the kids crying behind us. I know one of them is a snitch for Big Dick.
“Be cool,” Pax tells the women and they nod.
“We’re taking them,” I say then snap at the second chick. “Go take care of your kids.”
She hurries past me and takes the crying babies in her arms. I handcuff Sandy and Pax grabs a barfing Paro. We leave the way we came and drag them through the backyard to an alley where our van waits. Once the assholes are secured, we speed away.
“Less than five minutes in and out,” Pax says, sitting in the back and watching the whining men. “New record.”