Leah quietly walked back into the kitchen and sat next to me, but pushed her half-eaten plate away, staring down at the counter silently.
“Not hungry anymore?” I grabbed her plate when she shook her head no and rinsed it before setting it into the dishwasher. “I just talked to my mom, I told her I would come to pick up Caleb in about an hour. Do you think you want to go with me?” She shook her head again, this time not even looking at me. Apparently, something was up. I knew sex really couldn’t solve everything, but I hoped it helped a little bit.
“Leah, what’s wrong? I thought we were making a little bit of progress. You can’t stay in the house forever. Everyone misses you. It’s not healthy.” I leaned my arms against the counter and she finally looked up, biting her lip nervously and her eyes went wider than usual.
“Chase, I need to tell you something.”
“What is it baby? Just talk to me. We can work through whatever you have to say, just as long as you keep talking to me and don’t shut me out anymore.”
She took a deep breath, bringing her hands onto the counter and wrapping them around each other until they were turning white. “I went out last night. After you left, I just...I just couldn’t be here any longer. The house felt so empty, I had to get out of here. I went to Gino’s and sat at the bar. I ordered a drink, and then another, and another.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, but didn’t say anything when she looked up at me nervously. I already didn’t like where this was going, but I didn’t want to give her any kind of opportunity to shut down again. I needed to try to keep my cool.
“So, this guy sat down next to me and we got to talking. One thing led to another and the next thing I knew I was following him out to the parking lot. I’m not going to try to blame this on the alcohol at all Chase, but just know that I had a lot to drink. I knew in my head what I was doing was wrong, but I just felt so alone.”
A pang of guilt flashed through me when I heard her say she felt alone, but that wasn’t any excuse. We were married and although we hadn’t had much interaction lately, I still expected her to act that way. I had tried to there for her, but she wouldn’t let me. I could feel the anger building up in my chest, at the thought of some other guy with his hands on my wife, but I tried to push it down as best as I could.
“So what exactly happened, Leah?” I bit out through clenched teeth, even though I was sure I didn’t want to hear it.
“Nothing, Chase, I swear. Other than a little bit of kissing.” I cringed when she said it. I guess it was better than her having sex with someone else, but still, just the thought of it made me sick to my stomach, especially after what we had done just a little while ago, and she hadn’t mentioned anything.
“But that’s it, I promise. I don’t remember much, but that was Gino who just called. Apparently, he came out to the parking lot and saw me pushing the guy away. I don’t think he was doing anything against my will, I just realized what I was doing was wrong and it wasn’t with you. Gino stepped in and he brought me home last night. One of the other waitresses drove my car home for me.”
“So, you’re saying you willingly went out there with this guy, Leah? A complete stranger? What if something had happened to you before Gino came out?” She visibly cringed when I said it, but I didn’t care. Her head was a mess right now, but just thinking of another guys lips on her made me sick to my stomach. And then to think that she had to push him away. What would have happened if she hadn’t? Or Gino didn’t come out to step in?
“Chase, I don’t-”
“Don’t, Leah.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to relieve some of the headache I could feel coming on. “I just need a minute. Please, you at least owe me that.”
She looked down sheepishly. I could tell she was ashamed of what she had done, but I was happy it hadn’t gone any further at least. I looked away when I saw the tears start to roll down her face.
I always told her how beautiful she looked, even when she cried. Her thick eyelashes, always tended to mash together in to tiny black clumps and mat against her cheeks, and her gray eyes always shined brighter. But I couldn’t think about that right now.
“We’re going to counseling, whether you like it or not,” I demanded. She didn’t even look up to argue with me. “Luckily, this was all that happened. Not that I like to think about some other guys lips on yours, but what if it had went further, Leah?”
“I don’t think I would have let it, Chase. You mean so much to me; I just don’t know what I was thinking. It won’t happen again, I swear. And I’ll go to counseling, anything you want me to do, I’ll do it.”