“I didn’t know jack, Shay. I had only a few scattered facts. Your juvie record is sealed, as you said. Now that I understand what you’ve been through I’m totally on your side. If this is what’s been keeping you from filing charges against Eric you can stop worrying. I’ll help see to it that the system works for you this time.”
She jerked as if he had slapped her. “Don’t you understand anything? If I filed charges Eric would hire an expensive attorney who would dig into my past to try to discredit me. That’s the last thing I want. I have a record for violence. I cried rape and was institutionalized.” She waved her hands around, as if trying to chase away her thoughts. “It would be all over the news. No jury would believe anything I have to say. And everyone who knows me would learn about my past. I won’t allow that. Nothing can make me go through that again!”
Then she looked at him. Her face went slack. “Get out!”
It was a raw moment. He had torn open old wounds and she was suffering. He hurt for her. But this wasn’t about him. James knew he couldn’t make another mistake or she would rip him out of her life as she had tried to do earlier. Not this time. He couldn’t just leave a card and walk away.
He stood up. “Just hear me out, Shay.”
“Are you deaf? You can’t be here. Not after you lied to me. I trusted you!”
She came at him so unexpectedly, for once, he was caught off guard. She struck, hard. His lip burst where it was ground against his teeth by her slap and he tasted blood.
At the corner of his vision he saw Bogart rise, two concerned eyes shining with clearer vision than his own. His partner had just been attacked, and Bogart was trained to take sides.
James reacted quickly. “Nein! Geh raus!”
Bogart hovered a moment, made a whining sound of disapproval through his nose, then settled back.
James watched him a moment longer, noticing his tail swooshing in agitation. He needed to calm Shay down, fast.
It turned out not to be necessary. She was gasping for breath and began to sob as she collapsed like a rag doll onto the carpet.
James knelt down beside her, as close as he could get without actually touching her. She had covered her face with both hands. Choking sobs lifted her shoulders with every breath. “I’m so sorry. I hate violence! I didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, Shay. I think I’ll survive.”
When she didn’t respond, he placed a hand on her shoulder.
Her hands fell away from her face. Her eyes were an angry red, her mouth wet and blurred. He saw pain served up raw and unfiltered in her expression. Her eyes widened suddenly.
“You’re bleeding!”
James put a hand to his mouth. It came away with a bright smear of blood. He smirked. “I’ve had worse.”
Shay looked stunned by the evidence of what she’d done. She lunged at him and grabbed him about the neck. “I’m so sorry. I’m didn’t mean it. Don’t hate me!”
“I don’t hate you, Shay.” He enfolded her, absorbing the shock of her. Her skin was chill from the night air and her extreme emotional state.
He reached a hand toward the sofa and grabbed the throw flung across the back. He wrapped her in it and then adjusted his embrace to bring her tighter against himself to share his warmth.
Fitting her head more snugly into the curve between his shoulder and jaw, he kissed her hair and waited until she stopped sobbing, this time in remorse.
Finally, she stilled against him, all the fight and fear ebbed away on her tears.
He continued to hold her tight in one arm while his free hand stroked down her back. “It’s okay, Shay. It’s really going to be okay. We’ll figure something out.”
She didn’t say anything, just pushed her arms up through the covers until her hands were framing his face. And then she smothered his words with kisses. It stung a bit and he wondered fleetingly if she realized he was still bleeding.
Finally, she moved a little away from him. But not by much. Her sorrow-soaked gaze bored into his. “You can stay.”
He tilted his head back to better see her. “You’ve been through a lot tonight.”
She slid a thumb over his split lip. “You can stay.”
He hesitated to act on her invitation. So much had gone down between them tonight. Much as he wanted to, and as easy as passion was between them, she was exhausted. And enough people had taken advantage of her in her life.
“We’ve got time.”
He stood and then picked her up with surprising ease. She hooked a hand over his shoulder and rocked her head against his neck as he carried her to the bedroom. When he bent to place her on the mattress, she wrapped her arm tighter to hold on to him. “Please stay.”
He made a purely masculine sound of distress. She couldn’t see his face in the darkness but she knew he was trying to do the honorable thing.
“Stay here.” She pointed to the bed. “All night.”
“Okay.” It sounded nothing like surrender. “I’ve got to walk Bogart then I’ll be back. Promise.”
Shay nodded, letting her body relax against the bedding.
*