Insanity (Insanity #1)



Quadrangle, Christ Church, Oxford University



When I wake up I am sitting on a bank next to the fountain in the middle of the garden of Christ Church College. The snow is still covering most of the ground around me. I feel like my wound has been medically mended, and it's only been a couple of hours or so. The sun has winked and the twilight of evening has passed. It's nighttime.

"It's been a long day," the Pillar says. He’s sitting next to me on the bank on his can, like always.

"Why am I here?" I say. "Shouldn't I be back in the asylum by now?"

"I am surprised this is the first question you ask," the Pillar remarks. "I thought you'd ask about Constance."

"Why would I?" I am fighting the tears in my eyes. "I am a failure. And it's all because of you." I know I'm not reasonable, laying all fault on him. "You keep believing that I am the real Alice, when I am just a mad girl in an asylum."

"Which makes me think," he says, unaffected by my blaming. "What's more important for you now: to know if you're the real Alice, or to know who you really are and what you’re capable of."

"I'm fed up with your riddles," I say. "I'm fed up with the sane world. I want to go back to my cell where I belong. It's easier to be insane than live with the guilt of giving up on Constance."

"You know what insane people are, Alice?" the Pillar says. "They are just sane people who know too much."

"I tried all I can. Whenever I think I’ve saved Constance, the Cheshire gets her back. I bet he has sucked her soul already and gained his powers." I am about to stand up. Listening to him has messed with my head.

"No, he hasn't," the Pillar waves the Cheshire's mask in his hand. "I stole the mask from him when I was in the clothes tower. He wants it back."

"He contacted you?"

"Yes. He wants to exchange Constance for the mask."

"But what use is the mask without Constance and the festival?" I wonder.

"He has sucked Constance’s soul already and the ritual was technically a success," the Pillar explains. "It turns out that the other girls died when he sucked their souls because they weren't the one. Constance had like an extra soul for him inside. Whatever magic Lewis used, he made sure she’d still live if the Cheshire got his soul back. Sucking it didn't get her killed. He has no use for her now."

"So all he needs is the mask?" My face lights up. "What are we waiting for? Let’s give him the mask and get Constance."

"It's not that easy, Alice. You must realize the danger he will bring onto the world once he has restored his power. He will simply be unstoppable, and will start opening the doors to the Wonderland Monsters. I wouldn't be surprised if he releases the Mad Hatter and the others soon."

"But Constance..."

"This is where it gets complicated," he says, still looking at the Tom Tower ahead. "You see, I could have just burned this mask and the Cheshire's grin with it, but I didn't. I wanted to give you a choice. I still believe you're the real Alice and will trust your decision."

"You keep believing in me while no one else does," I sigh. "I wonder why."

"I'm mad enough to believe in you, that's all," the Pillar says. "The world is too sane. It could use a little madness."

"So either I let Constance die and save the world from the Wonderland Monsters, or I save Constance and doom the world," I say. "Who am I to make a decision like that?"

"I am sure your decision will be much better than the likes of Margaret Kent and all those politicians who suck away our lives like cats do to an infant. Every day, they make decisions that end up becoming tangles in wars. My hope is that you would make the right decision though," the Pillar turns to face me. "I know someone who can help you decide."

"It's not your chauffeur, is it?"

"Of course not. He has the wisdom of rats, which means his answer to almost everything is 'cheese.'" the Pillar says. "You see the Tom Tower?" He nods at it. "I killed someone in it in the past. I messed with his mind and made him jump off of it."

"I'm not in the mood to listen to your--"

"The Tom Tower has the answer, Alice," he cuts me off. "Remember when I told you that its bell rings 101 times at 9:00 PM, Oxford time?"

"You told me more than once," I gaze up at the magnificent construction.

"It's five minutes to nine," the Pillar says. "It will ring five minutes from now. If you climb up, you will find a small door on the northern wall. It's hidden behind an armoire. Just move it and you will find it."

"A door?"

"Remember that you have to be back before the 101 dongs, or you'll be lost behind it forever."

"What's behind the door?" I am already standing up, curious for anything that helps me decide. "A treasure?" I mock him.

The Pillar leans back. "No. The doors in this University are much more precious than that. It's a door to one of your memories."





Chapter 68


Tom Tower, Christ Church, Oxford University