"I know all that, but it's easier to embrace my inner-fuckery when I'm here. When I get home, I worry I'll want to please."
"Don't be a puss. Just choose not to play that game. You're a big boy. You'll be fine as long as you tap into your ugly side without letting it control you."
"Easy enough."
"I do it. You're at least as strong as a girl, right?"
I smirk at her wording but don't answer the question.
"Where are we going?" I ask instead.
"You'll see," she mutters. "After you return to Ellsberg, feel free to call me if you need Morpheus advice."
"I'll probably take you up on that."
"Good. If more people just did what I told them, the world would be a better place. Speaking of stupid fucks not listening, we're here."
Bodie parks her truck in front of a small farmhouse at the end of the long stretch of nothing. I spot a red barn, two blue sheds, and a large ominous black building. Once the engine shuts off, I hear the distinctive sound of hogs snorting.
"Are you going to kill me?" I ask, grinning.
Smiling, Bodie sighs. "If I kill you, it'll be quick and painless. That's how I do my friends. This place isn't quick and painless."
I follow her past the farmhouse to the barn. Behind a fence, the hogs run away when we approach. Their departure allows me to see the man tied to a trough. A moment later, I realize he's alive. I need another moment to recognize him as Snickers.
Before we step into the muddy fenced area, Bodie waves at a man on a nearby tractor.
"Can't tell you his name," she says to me. "I will say he did black ops during the Vietnam War. Off the books stuff. When he came home, he inherited this pig farm, but his skill set is torturing and killing."
Climbing over the fence, she eases into the muddy ground. "Even though he's retired, he does work for me occasionally. You know, to keep his beast at bay," Bodie says, giving me a smile. "I met him at a Dairy Queen near Odessa. Never know what life has in store when you chat up a stranger."
Bodie steps into the muddy area where Snickers is tied. He lifts his head when we arrive, but doesn't react for nearly a minute.
"Bitch."
"See, that's our problem," Bodie says, squatting down to make eye contact with the filthy man. "I hate you, and you hate me. We can't undo the Caveman thing, so the hate will burn on. That part is fine, but you need to stop thinking your opinion matters. Trust me, pig boy, it really doesn't."
"You come here to gloat?"
"I came here to make the rules clear. I'll let you loose, and you'll avoid me from now on. If you accidentally find yourself sharing a room with me, you turn tail and run. I'm only letting you live this time because I don't want any trouble for my girl Veronica, and her man takes his club buddies' horrible deaths very personally. I give my friends a freebie. This is theirs. You live this time. Next time, those cute little piggies eat you. Kay, snickerdoodle?"
I see him bite his tongue to keep from mouthing off and signing his death warrant. Once his self-preservation barely wins over his ego, Bodie stands up and turns to me.
"Would you mind beating the shit out of him for me? I'd do it, but I've gotten muddy enough for one day."
"Specify what you mean by shit out of him. Am I breaking his bones? Are we talking soft tissue damage only?"
Bodie grins huge for me. "My little man is growing up. Tell you what. You beat on him until you feel like stopping. Just play the entire thing by ear. As long as he doesn't die, I'll be happy. Feel free to cut him loose before or after you're done."
Bodie leaves the pigpen, and I look at Snickers. He watches me pull out my knife.
"Nothing personal," I say, reaching over to cut his restraints. "I have a lot of pent-up rage, and your face really annoys me."
"How is that not fucking personal?" he asks, wobbling to his feet and making a move for me.
Ducking his strike, I return my knife to its holster. "You're right. My bad."
I punch him once in the jaw, and Snickers goes down. Glancing over my shoulder, I spot Bodie talking with the man on a back porch. He's offering her a drink, and they sit down to have a nice afternoon chat. Bodie walks the line between light and dark. The same line the men in my work walk. Both of my fathers, Kirk, Cooper, and the rest of the club need to know when to embrace the ugly violence of the world and when to look away.
I focus my gaze on Snickers who slowly returns to his feet. This won't be a fair fight since he's likely been tied up for days. The nice guy in me says to take it easy on the loser. The club man doesn't agree. If you wrong those who matter to me, you become my enemy. Snickers is that guy today.
I imagine Snickers in my childhood house, making my mother scream and taking the lives of the people I loved. Hitting him, I show no mercy and feel no pity.
Chapter 37
Sawyer
Faithfully