Bailey says nothing for a minute. "Bitch."
"I need you to talk Cooper into changing his mind about Jace. I don't want him here."
"That's the plan, I'm sure. He figures you'll come home to get away from Jace playing shadow."
"I'm not coming home."
"Why?"
"Ellsberg sucks without Pop."
"True," she says, and I hear the sadness in her voice. "I miss him too."
"I like it here."
"The McLaughlins are rich. They probably have a lot of fun too. I don't blame you for wanting to hang out there, but it's a short term fix."
"Fix for what?"
"For the pain. No matter how long or far you run, Sawyer, you'll never escape the loss." When I say nothing, she continues, "I forget he's gone sometimes. During the day when the boys and I run around town or we're swimming with Nick, I feel free. I even find myself thinking to call Pop or how we'll see him that weekend. Then, I remember, and the pain comes back. There's no escaping it. Even if you go slumming in Texas, you'll still suffer from what we lost."
I know she's right. Our relationship has come a long way from when she drove me crazy, and I made Bailey tear out her hair.
"I don't want to ruin this beautiful mood," I say, sighing, "but when you act sensitive, it makes me want to vomit."
"You and me both, sister."
Our laughter relaxes me. "I know you're right about Pop. I don't want to forget him. I never want him to be only a memory. In town, everyone goes on as if life is normal. Here, no one cares about Pop, so I don't get pissed about them being happy."
"I'll talk to Cooper, but it won't do any good. His way of dealing with Pop being gone is to keep everyone super close. He freaked out when Farah didn't call exactly when he thought she would. He doesn't want the kids to leave the yard. He even worries about idiot Tucker, so you know he's off his fucking rocker."
Even laughing quietly, I feel my depression growing. "I should go. I'll call you soon."
"I know you're a tough bitch, and I know the McLaughlins are rich but be careful. You're not thinking straight, and they're supposed to be nuts. Not a great mix. I mean, I'd love to watch a train wreck if you weren't involved. I love you. You know, because I have to."
"Right back at you. I'll watch my back."
"Or Jace can."
"Bitch."
"I didn't want you to miss me too much, so I figured we'd end the call on an angry note."
Hanging up on Bailey, I figure she'll view the dial tone as a win. I set down my phone and peer out the blinds again. Jace is long gone, but I stare at the road as if hoping he'll return. I'll never stop hating him for hurting me. I miss him though, and I probably always will.
Fully depressed now, I crawl under the top blanket in the comfy bed and embrace the McLaughlin naptime tradition. Later tonight, I'll face Jace again. If I want to see him without bursting into tears or ripping out his eyes, I really should get a few hours rest.
Chapter 10
Jace
My Favorite Mistake
The hotel room is too quiet. Pacing around, I try to watch TV. When nothing settles my nerves, I take a walk in the hundred-degree heat. A block from the hotel rests the heart of Last Dollar. Main Street is lined with tiny restaurants of every variety. Who'd have thought I could find Thai food in such a tiny town? I walk down the street, wiping sweat with the back of my hand until I'm soaked.
"Come and sit," an elderly woman says, patting a bench in front of a deli.
After I join her, she shows me no more interest. Her little wrinkled fingers type furiously at her phone before she suddenly stands and wanders off.
Left alone, I pull out my phone and dial. My older sister Harlow lives in Houston, and I decide I should talk to her about my Sawyer issues. The phone nearly slides out of my sweaty hands as I hear her answer.
"How's Last Dollar?" she asks.
"How did you know?"
"Please," she says, and I can nearly see her smiling. "We have an Ellsberg phone tree going. The minute Sawyer was out of town, Farah told everyone, and Winnie told me. Bailey was the one who called to say Cooper sent you to bring Sawyer home. How's that going, by the way?"
"She hates me."
"I thought she'd be over that by now."
"I did too, but it's like no time has passed. She's as mad now as she was the day I ended things."
"She is Sawyer, so it's not like you didn't know what you were getting into."
Nodding, I glance at the passing cars. "She claims she wants to stay here."
"She's grieving. I'm sure she's saying a lot of things."
"I don't know how to convince her to return to Ellsberg when I can't convince her not to hate me."
Harlow sighs. "Jodi once said her kids were so stubborn that the only way she could convince them of anything was to stop trying and let them convince her. Maybe what you need to do is stop doing anything. Just relax and pretend you're on vacation too. Give her nothing to fight against. A relaxed Sawyer is a smart Sawyer. Let her figure out where her home really is."