If I Only Knew

“Do you really think I’m going to use you to get this job back?”

I want to say no, but the truth is, I’m not sure. None of this makes much sense to me. Milo has already told me the kind of man he is, but he also has always been honest. He explained that he doesn’t play games, so why am I now not going to take him at his word?

“I won’t lie to you. I don’t know what to think.”

His face is close, lips right in front of me, and my throat goes dry. “Don’t think. Feel, sweetheart.”

I lean in a little closer without giving myself permission to do so. The scent of his cologne, the confidence that he exudes, and the richness in his voice is like a drug. You can’t have just one hit, you want to relapse over and over.

“We can’t,” I whisper.

“Oh, but we can, and you want to, don’t you?”

Yes. I want him to kiss me again.

He tilts his head a little more and right before our lips touch, a noise breaks the moment.

“Am I . . . interrupting something?” Callum’s voice fills the room. “I can come back if you two were busy.”

Please let this not be happening. I close my eyes and feel the burn on my cheeks.

“Perfect timing as always, brother,” Milo laughs as he releases my chair.

“I was checking if we were still on for lunch? Hello, Danielle,” Callum smirks at me.

Now I’ve been caught in a compromising position with Milo by both my kid and my boss.

“Callum, I was . . .”

“Yes?”

“I was just . . .”

“She was about to kiss me, but you ruined it,” Milo finishes.

Seriously, I want to crawl under my desk and never come out. I don’t know that I’ve ever been this mortified in my life.

“I was not!” I declare. Maybe I was, but there’s no way I’m admitting it.

Milo shakes his head. “Right, we were checking each other’s breathing in case I needed CPR. Better?”

I drop my face in my hands. “Yeah, great.”

Callum laughs. “I’m not touching this with a ten-foot pole. I’ll be in my office when you’re ready, Milo.”

I slowly lift my face, praying Callum left.

“Well, that was rather embarrassing.” Milo grins.

My stomach roils as I let the mortification take me under. This man makes me crazy and drives me to do stupid things. I need to keep my distance.

“Did you know he was going to show up?”

Milo looks at me with a confusion. “How would I know when Callum is going to magically appear?”

“I don’t know, but . . . ugh! This couldn’t be any worse.”

He walks toward the door, looks back at me with a grin, and says, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell him about our little kiss the other night. I wouldn’t want you to have any issues with human resources.”

Fuck my life.





Chapter Seventeen





Milo





My brother bores me. There’s no other way to describe it. He’s always been a bit stuffy, but now he’s truly . . . drab.

Every rule he follows.

Every part of his life has been analyzed and combed through to find the right choice that will yield him the proper results. The only impulsive decision he’s ever made was marrying Nicole.

I have to give him credit, she’s definitely the best choice he’s made. The fact he had to move across the Atlantic, however, is what brought our relationship to this point. Had he stayed in London, this luncheon wouldn’t be necessary.

“You wanted to talk?” Callum asks as he cuts his steak.

“Not exactly, but you asked if we could have this little conversation, so I’m assuming it’s about my position in the company.” I grab the glass of scotch and take a sip while I wait.

“Are you leaving?” he finally asks.

“To go . . .?”

Callum places the fork and knife down, pats his mouth with the napkin, and then shrugs.

I don’t know what that means, so I stay quiet and wait. Does he think I’m quitting? Does he want to go to another restaurant? Really the options are endless.

“You’re going to make me say it?” Callum finally asks.

“Clearly I don’t have the faintest idea what you’re talking about, so yes.”

“To London, Milo. Are you leaving to go back home? Because we both know this little charade isn’t going to last much longer. In fact, I’m rather surprised you’ve endured it for this amount of time. We both know you’re unhappy.”

This is again where I find my brother to be dim. He thinks he knows everything about me, but never bothers to actually ask.

I lean back in my chair. “How wonderful that you’re a mind reader now, Cal. I didn’t know you had so many talents.”

“You can’t tell me being her assistant is what you want.”

“Piss off. You don’t know what I want. Or you don’t care because you’re a bastard who doesn’t give a toss about anyone else.”

Callum laughs. “You think I enjoy the calls from Mum about her little baby not having his job back?”

“Maybe she thinks you’re a prat.”

I’m sure that’s not true. Not her perfect Callum who does everything right. She loves to point out all my faults and remind me of how I continue to disappoint her. I’m tired of trying to find the sun in Callum’s shadow. It’s exhausting and humiliating.

“Maybe she thinks you’re never going to change.”

“Then she’s right. I’m the same irresponsible man I was all those years ago, right? Same old Milo, different country.”

He shakes his head. “I thought you had changed these last few weeks. Seeing you with Danielle, being a team player and all. I guess I was wrong.”

“Again, you make assumptions. Have I caused a single problem since I’ve been back?”

“No.”

“Have I asked you to reinstate me as an executive?”

“No, and why is that, Milo?”

Because that would mean Danielle would lose her job.

That reason alone should have me running for the next flight to London.

What in the bloody hell is wrong with me? I came here to get my job back and destroy the bastard who took it from me. I wanted revenge of the mightiest kind. My goals were clear, my plan was foolproof, and then I met her.

I found out that she was not so easy to take down, and I saw what it would cost her. Turns out that she’s not a bastard at all. She’s actually quite perfect.

“Because I’m a fool,” I say to Callum.

“Ah.” He smirks. “I guess I don’t have to ask why, since when I walked in you were about to kiss her.”

“I’d rather not talk about it,” I say through gritted teeth.

Callum rests his arms on the table. “Did I ever tell you the story about when Dad met Mum?”

My face falls because the last thing I want is a trip down memory lane. “Really? No, and I don’t care to know either.”

He continues on as though my answer is irrelevant. “Mum and I have a different version of the story, even though the outcome was the same. What Mum doesn’t know is that I used to listen to his phone calls. He knew my biological father, and I suspect that he was placed in our lives for a reason. You know my father was a ruthless business man who thrived on making others cower to him. I think he wanted the same for Mum, but we know there’s not much that will make that woman roll over.”

“Is there a point here, Callum?”

I don’t care about this. Dad is gone and however they met has no bearing on my life.

“Don’t be a tosser.” He glares. “I’m telling you that Dad didn’t meet Mum and just fall in love. Sometimes you find yourself together and you choose to feel or not. You’re not a heartless bastard, Milo, but you sure are daft.”

“How do you figure?”

Callum throws his napkin on the table. “I’m not going to point it out to you. I think you bloody know what has you so pissed off right now.”

“Yeah, you,” I toss back.

“I know,” Callum laughs and stands. “I’m the villain as always. It has nothing to do with your feelings towards Danielle. Suddenly it’s all me who is making your life difficult. Am I right?”

He can fuck off. I don’t need this. I don’t feel anything but the desire to punch him in his mouth. Danielle has made it clear what she thinks of me, and she’s right. I’m a selfish bastard who’s unfit for a relationship.