“Stop,” I say pushing him away. “I don’t need help. I’m fine and you need to go.”
“Are you serious right now?”
“Do I look like I’m joking?”
I get to my feet, slip the stupid shoes off and trudge barefoot toward my door. I can’t believe I let myself slip like this. I was so caught up in being conflicted that I let my stupid emotions get the better of me. I wanted him so much. I wanted to be wanted more than anything and for all I know this was a game to get me to let him in.
How easily I caved.
“What the hell is going on?” Milo asks as he grabs my arm, stopping me from climbing the steps to my house.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
I try to pull my arm back, but he won’t let go. “This was a mistake.”
“A mistake?” he asks.
“What are you, a parrot? Yes. This. Whatever that was.” I point with my shoes to the car. “Can’t and won’t ever happen. I don’t know what this is that you’re doing, but I’m not playing around. I have other people to think about and I can’t lose my job because you’re getting me to . . . whatever your plan is . . . won’t work.”
His hand drops. “You think that’s what I was doing? Playing some silly game with you?”
My chest tightens when I see the hurt flash in his eyes. “Yes! I know what you want and the fact that you could play on my emotions to get me to be so dumb is low. I need to go inside.”
Pulling away, I suddenly feel stupider than I did before. I’m emotional and a sense of guilt is hanging over me.
I know Peter’s gone. I know I’m single, but all I could think about when Milo was touching me was how much better his lips felt.
How Peter was never possessive.
How Peter didn’t kiss me that way.
How Milo was different and I liked it.
God, I’m a horrible person.
“Do you really think I’m pretending? Did you not sense the way I wanted you all night and even the days leading up to it? Do you think I make it a point to support people I barely know the way I’ve tried to do with you? If this was a game, as you so say, why would I help you? Wouldn’t I let you fall and laugh at the outcome?”
“I don’t know what to think, but I’m not a child who can go around making out with employees!”
He laughs. “Please, that was hardly making out. We’re grown-ups, blowing off steam and clearly you’re attracted to me, not that I blame you.”
“You arrogant asshole. You were coming onto me all night.”
“Was I? I was rather busy with Kandi if you recall.”
“Wow, I was right about you. We’re all pawns in your little chess game. Here I thought you were a good man, my bad. Won’t make that mistake again. You’ve told me all along who you are. I should’ve listened the first time. You’re exactly what your family says.”
Milo takes a step closer, his back is straight. I can sense the pain my words just brought him. It was a low blow, but he’s not exactly fighting fair either.
“I’m not this man, Danielle. Make no mistake, I’m not the good guy you want, but I’m not the villain either. I’m not playing a game to take your job. I kissed you because I wanted you, but clearly I had an error in judgement as you pointed out.”
Milo’s hurt is gone and has been replaced with anger and disappointment.
“I didn’t—”
“You don’t have to say anything else. I think you’ve made yourself rather clear on your feelings about me. I’m sorry you feel that kissing me was such a mistake. I’ll ensure you don’t make the same one twice. Besides, it was just a kiss. It means nothing in the grand scheme of things, does it? Not like we’re ever going to be more once things shake out the way I plan. Goodnight, Danielle.”
I stand there, watching him walk away, wanting to say so much, but I don’t. If we end things like this, there will be no confusion. He shouldn’t care what I think at this point. He’s already made it clear that he has no desire for any relationship. Whatever this is, it’s insignificant to him. I can’t be that to anyone. If I give the little piece of my heart that’s left and he breaks it, then what?
I have to think about my kids, their future, and the fact that I need my position.
He reaches his car and our eyes lock. Then he shakes his head and gets inside. When Milo’s car backs up and I can no longer see the tail lights, a tear falls.
I’m only fooling myself if I think I don’t care about what just happened. The remaining piece of my heart is already hurting.
“Good morning, Mrs. Bergen. I have your call sheet along with some files you need to review. Would you like me to leave them here?” Milo asks.
I’ve been dreading this moment. To the point that I almost called out sick today. That’s how much the idea of seeing him after Saturday night upset me.
All day Sunday, I thought about calling him. He did nothing wrong and I treated him as though he had. I asked him to kiss me and then pushed him away. Now, I need to apologize and find a way for us to work together.
“Milo,” I say his name and he looks at me with a hardness I haven’t seen before.
“Was there anything else you needed?”
“I think we should talk.”
He huffs. “There’s no need. I have nothing to say.”
“Well, I do,” I counter.
Milo stands against the door with his arms crossed. “Does it pertain to business?”
“Yes. Come in and take a seat.”
I can see how much he hates this right now. My being his boss and since he’s so adamant about not talking about anything personal, this is torture for him.
“Did we get the approval from Darren yet?” I ask. Darren called to explain there was an emergency and he couldn’t meet. Now we’re back to waiting again.
“No.”
“Have you reached out to the city to follow up?”
“Yes.”
Great, we’re on one-word answers. Time to step it up. “All right, how did the call go?”
Milo smirks. “Fine.”
My anger starts to boil. “What did he say?”
“Nothing.”
I might kill him. “Are you serious? You’re really going to act like this?”
“I’m going to be having a long lunch with the owner of Dovetail today to discuss my future with the company.”
Oh. “Okay then. So you mean to tell me you’re going to have lunch with your brother?” I’m stunned. I don’t know what to say. I knew he was upset with what happened, but Milo has never treated me so coldly.
“Yes.”
Seriously, I hate him right now.
“Are we not going to talk about the other night?”
Milo looks up from the papers on his lap, his expression stone faced. I’m not going to give in. He’s acting like a child, and I’m trying to be an adult here. It doesn’t have to be this way.
I wait.
And wait.
And Milo doesn’t move.
With each second that passes, I think of a different way to make his life miserable.
“Stop already!” I crack.
“Stop what?”
“This! This whole ‘I don’t care’ attitude and one-word answers with me. I’m sorry I freaked out okay? I’m still trying to get my shit together and I got scared. I never wanted to hurt your feelings, Milo. Never. You’ve been great and you make me feel things that scare me. I’m trying here, please talk to me. I don’t . . . I want . . . I can’t get hurt again.”
Milo gets to his feet. “Scared?”
Ugh. Another one-word reply.
He moves toward me, around the desk, and stands in front of me. My head tilts back to see him.
“Scared of what?” Milo asks as he leans down. His hands rest on both sides of my chair and now we’re nose to nose.
My pulse spikes at his closeness. Why does my traitorous body care about him? I try to slow my breathing, but even I can hear how labored it is.
“I don’t want to feel these things again,” I whisper. “I don’t want to blur the lines.”
“I think it might be too late, don’t you? Don’t you think the lines were crossed when my tongue was in your mouth?”
Why does the thought of that make my stomach clench?
“No,” I shake my head.