And now she had added to all that guilt he clutched to him like some cherished talisman, she thought. “One is never truly safe, Brant, and no one can keep a person safe for every minute of every day. She was going to shoot you. The boys and I could not stand there and do nothing.”
“Why did none of the boys climb the wall?” he asked, trying to ignore what she said.
“It appears they have a small problem with heights. At least heights such as the one they would have been at if they had tried to climb the wall. I was the only one who could do it, although the plan did go a little awry.”
He sat down on the edge of the bed, took her hand in his, and kissed her palm. “More than a little. Poor Pawl is probably very glad this is over. He will be more than happy to see the last of the Mallams.”
Olympia felt her heart stutter with pain, but fought not to ask what he meant by that. If he was intending to end their association now that Agatha was safe and the problem with his mother was ended, she was determined to take the loss with all the dignity she could muster. Pride would give her the strength not to let him see how much that would hurt her.
“Pawl was trained as a guard. He is, in many ways, a soldier as much as a footman.” She smiled faintly. “And occasionally a coachman and has held many another position in my household since he joined it. You have seen to it that he is not the one known to have pulled the trigger.”
“I have. With Dobson’s help this will all end as a horrible tragedy filled with the delicious scandal of a love affair gone wrong between a countess and her footman.”
“Good. It will be difficult for Agatha when she finally has her come-out but not as difficult as it would be for your family if the full truth were known.”
“We are not the only ones who know it though.”
“The others will not talk for they will then have too many looking at them, at how they knew such things. If the full truth were told, every single person who had anything to do with your mother could be tainted and suffer for it all. I wish some would but this is for the best. The ones who were involved with her in any of the things she did will be very certain that the tale you have come up with gets their full support.”
“How fare you? In much pain?”
“Septimus took most of it away and the doctor has left a potion if I need it. I will be fine.” She could not fully subdue a yawn.
“Rest, Olympia.” He leaned forward and brushed a kiss over her mouth. “That is the best cure. I will go now and get Agatha settled but I shall be back to see you on the morrow. Oh, one thing you might be interested in,” he said as he stood up. “According to your aunt Antigone, Orion is Giles’s father.”
“How wonderful. She did not say but she was more interested in how I was faring so that she could tell Ilar. Orion will be good to the boy. I suspect he will take over the care of all of them as they are a family in many ways and should not be separated. Orion is wise enough to see that.”
“Good. I wondered about that. Rest, love. I will see you again soon.”
Olympia watched the door shut behind him and sighed. There was no doubting his deep concern for her but she had hoped for more. She almost smiled for in her few moments of clear thought as her wound had been tended to, she had imagined him having seen where his heart lay the moment he realized she was wounded. She had envisioned a tender moment with words of undying love as he came to her bedside to see that she would indeed survive. Olympia would never have imagined she would be prone to such girlish flights of fancy.
But it had been no more than a silly dream, she mused, and closed her eyes. Even if Brant had declared his undying love, she would have hesitated to fully accept it. He did not see it but a ghost lived in his heart. Faith was there even though she knew the woman did not want to be. He still carried the guilt of what had happened to her. Now he added the guilt of not having seen what his mother truly was, of not protecting Agatha enough, and, now, not protecting her enough. It was not something she could rid him of. He had to do it himself.
The question was, should she accept any declaration of love from him, stay at his side, and hope he found the strength to shed the guilt he did not have any reason to cling to? It was a poison in many ways but he was the only one who could rid his heart of it. Too tired to decide, and knowing it was all speculation since he had not declared any sort of love for her, Olympia decided to just deal with getting well and strong again.
Brant took Agatha back to the town house. He knew they could not stay there for long. The memories of all that had happened there were still too strong. Yet, he had to stay in town until he knew Olympia was well.