My mother doesn't mention the night before, and neither do I. This is her day to mourn, and I vow to myself that I will be on my best behavior. I will bite my tongue even if it bleeds, to keep from mouthing off to her, no matter how asinine her comments are.
We are all quiet in the car over. I check my texts repeatedly, but Sebastian hasn't replied to my last few. I shouldn't be upset by this. I know he has work this weekend and can't text me 24/7, but I do hope I can talk to him today.
By the time we reach the graveside, the weight of the event begins to hit me.
It's not a large gathering, but there are enough people that I spend a good thirty minutes before the service saying hi to people who have known me since I was a child. I try not to look at the actual casket, but I'm eventually left no choice as the crowd moves me toward my seat, right in front of the casket and the oversized portrait of my grandmother.
When I see her picture there, her white hair perfectly coiffed, her lips smeared with that red lipstick that smelled funny, her blue eyes so sharp, I experience a surprising lump of emotion in my throat. She's in that coffin right now. Her body, lifeless and hollow, is just lying there. Dead.
My bottom lip quivers, and I look up, fighting tears, and stare straight into the eyes of Sebastian Donovan.
Chapter 24
Perfect Match
I stand there, slack-jawed, until he comes over to me and pulls me into his arms. "Hello darling. I hope you don't mind that I'm here."
I wrap my arms around him and breathe in the deliciousness of his scent. "No. Not at all. But… how?"
He kisses me on my head, and I'm aware that everyone around me is staring, but I don't care one bit.
"I felt bad, you coming here alone, and I wanted to surprise you."
"I'm definitely surprised. And really glad you're here! Thank you."
I see my sister and mother staring at me, and I groan. "Prepare for the Michaels interrogation, though. And I hope meeting my family doesn't scare you away."
He chuckles under his breathe. "Darling, for you I'd fight dragons. A few family members are no problem."
"You haven't met my mother," I say as she comes over, clutching my sister's hand in hers. Tate is still talking to other family members and hasn't noticed the arrival of Sebastian.
Once my mom is close enough, she gives us a half-smile watered down by the grief still evident on her face. "Kacie, who is this handsome gentleman?"
"Mom, this is Sebastian. Sebastian, my mom, Martha, and sister, Jessica."
He shakes each of their hands. "Nice to meet you both."
My mom is clearly waiting for more information, but the priest arrives and is ready to start the service, so she returns to her seat, her focus back on the funeral.
Tate raises an eyebrow when he comes to sit next to me. "If I'd known you were bringing a date, I would have secured one for myself," he says.
"I didn't know. Now, hush, it's starting."
The service isn't long, but it does bring a tear or two to my eyes as friends of my grandmother speak about her charity work and how much she gave back to the community, especially in the last few years.
I realize that I didn't know the woman they're talking about. My memories of her are less than kind, but it seems she'd changed in her later years, and I feel a twinge of grief at the thought that now I'll never know the woman she chose to be toward the end of her life.
I steal a glance at my mother, who is dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief. I've always viewed my mother through the lens of my own childhood, but we're both adults now. I wonder whom I will see in her if I change that lens. Surely she's more than what my memories have made her.
***
The post-funeral reception is at my parents' house, and I spend an hour introducing Sebastian to everyone as “my boyfriend,” which just sounds lame, but what else can I say? The guy I married in Vegas? The guy I'm fucking? There aren't any really great ways to introduce someone you're in a relationship with once you become an adult, unless you're engaged or married. Someone should do something about this.
My mom lays it on thick, asking how long we've been together, if we're serious, if we plan on getting married, when we plan on having kids.
I want to die.
I want the ground to open up and swallow me.
But Sebastian handles her with ease and doesn't seem the least bit put off by all the expectations and questions.
As guests start to leave, Sebastian offers to help clean up the kitchen, but my mom shoos him away. "The ladies can handle it."
Tate hands Sebastian a beer, and they retire to the couch in the living room, casting sympathetic glances at me as my mother pulls me into the kitchen to clean and do dishes.
Women's work, obviously.
Thing is, I don't mind helping out. I just hate it being an expectation of my gender. "Shouldn't Jessica be here helping too?" I ask.
"Billy got a bloody nose, so she's taking care of the babies."